Where is "The End"?

This is a follow-up to my last post.

A couple of days later, I was at my 4-year Old’s school to pick him up; his teacher informed me that the very same boy with an insistence for “an eye for an eye” justice pulled my son’s hair! He pulled it hard enough that ice had to be applied to my son’s scalp. According to the teacher, he cried a bit. A few minutes later, I got a text from the other boy’s mom that simply said, “My turn to say sorryL”!

Of course, this became sensational news at the dinner table. Both Craigley and my 11-year Old announced that the other boy is NO longer allowed in our home and that he should be avoided at all costs even at school. WHAT?? That is not a solution. How do 2 kids avoid each other during 8 years of public school life? I didn’t want to argue with 2 angry guys and agreed to steer away from the other boy as much as possible for the next few days. I also took the time to write an email to the teacher in which I elaborated on the other boy’s use of violent language and requested her to talk to both the boys about appropriate use of language.

When I mentioned the email to Craigley after the boys were off to bed, he was very disappointed in me. He actually called me a “Tattle Tale Mom”! He was like, “You told on a 4 year old kid to his teacher!” Technically, yes; but, NOT really. Don’t they say that it takes a whole village to raise the child? I am trying to help the other boy as well. Craigley’s stance was that we help our boy and the other set of parents will help their boy. And how are we helping our boy? Asking him to stay away from his classmate!

Parenting is like being in a debate club sometimes …

Bad Words

Last Thursday, I was told by my 4-year Old’s teacher that he grabbed a classmate’s hair. Apparently, the other boy grabbed my son’s toy and my son grabbed his hair! I was embarrassed and shocked at the display of such behavior. I mean, no one in our home grabs anyone’s hair … Obviously the weekend was spent in teaching the little fella right from wrong. I also sent a note of apology to the other boy’s mom who let me know that her son has complained about my son on another occasion a couple of weeks ago. I was a little perplexed … Where is this behavior coming from?

2 days ago, on Monday, I decided that it is a good idea for my son to walk home with this boy. Perhaps, they could make up? At least, that was my intention! As we walked home, I also took the opportunity to apologize to the boy and in return, he insisted on pulling my son’s hair. This boy tried to grab my son’s hair which was luckily under 2 hoodies. While he was attempting to demonstrate “an eye for an eye”, his nanny managed to stop him. I was relieved as I am little uncomfortable disciplining other people’s children’s behaviour. My reaction would be to pull my child away and walk away. Since the nanny intervened, we continued to walk together. I thought I will make small conversation to diffuse the situation. I asked the boy what he likes about school. I will never forget his words. He said, “I hate school. I want to take a gun and shoot everybody at school.” As I was reeling from this revelation, my son said, “Yes! I will take a gun to school too!” What? Where is this coming from? At that point in time, I actually told the other boy and my boy that they are not supposed to speak such language. The other boy ignored me and I decided to walk separately with my child.

As we walked, I talked to him about guns and how they are bad. For good measure, I also told him about how people with guns can go to prison. I was so scared that I didn’t even register that I am talking to a 4 year old! I kept repeating that he should not even utter some words since they are bad words. After a couple of minutes, my son asked me, “Like washroom words?” I nodded in agreement. I went from scared to sad when I looked at his face. He is so little. I let him know that guns should only be used by police officers to catch bad people. Good people don’t use guns and good people don’t say bad words. The rest of the walk home was quiet.

However, when we got home, my son asked me if he can say bad words when he is a grown up?

School Councils

Sometime in September, I signed up to be on my firstborn’s school council. What was I thinking? … I was thinking that I have some time with 2 kids at school and it is time to venture out there and do something to make a difference. A trial job before an actual job? However, it is more like a tiny part-time job that takes up a considerable amount of time!!

I have attended 2 meetings so far – one in October and one in November. The very first meeting made me feel quite insignificant and inadequate. I met dads and moms who are working full time and who work on the council raising money for our children’s school. Their efforts fund interesting programs that benefit all the children including my own.

I am now involved in fundraising and I have requested for a “primer” J I don’t know where to start! This lack of “training” on my part has also got me thinking about funding in general at schools. What if parents don’t have the time or initiative to work on school councils … What if parents don’t have funds to contribute to the fundraising efforts … What happens when there are such disparities between schools? I am sure I am not the first parent or person to ask these questions.

Note: Yesterday [November 11, 2012] was Remembrance Day and the boys and I watched the coverage on CBC. As I am writing today, I feel that the phrase we associate with Remembrance Day applies in all walks of life – Lest We Forget …