Different ways of dealing with it!

Bullying has been there forever. I have seen my very own family deal with it differently. When my first born was 6 years old, he was bullied every recess for a few weeks by an 8 year old kid. I don’t know what material my child is cut from; he NEVER said he didn’t want to go to school! He kept going to school every day and then one day, he told us that he needed us to stop it for him. My first reaction was tears. My husband felt helpless as he couldn’t beat up that kid who tormented ours over a few weeks. My mom blamed me for NOT knowing about it sooner! My brother wanted to sue the school!! My dad wanted me to homeschool my son …

I remember my own childhood. I would usually ignore anyone who picked on me for whatever reason. I was one of the chubbier kids and usually, there would be some mean name calling. I seldom mentioned it to my parents and tended to ignore the mean kids. My brother, on the other hand, would tell our mom about every mean thing that happened to him on every single school day. My mom made mental notes of all the names mentioned and if she ever happened to come across any of their parents … she did NOT hesitate to give them a piece of her mind! Sometimes, she was mistaken for the principal of our school J

Shouldn’t I tell the parents of Chucky about his misdeeds? What is holding me back? Am I afraid of embarrassing them? Wouldn’t I be doing them a favour? Would they trust me? Am I doing the right thing by ignoring it?

I don’t know …

There is NO "The End" ...

This is a follow-up to Where is “The End”? post.

I have decided to call the 4-year Old boy, who talks quite violently and enjoys the “an eye for an eye” attitude, “Chucky” … if you know what I mean?! So here is another tale and perhaps I am to blame to a certain extent …

Chucky’s nanny was going away for the holidays and introduced me to her reliever. This reliever was a little bit worried about the walk from school! I assured her that I would walk with her on her first day and that way, she is not stressed out! Even as I assured her, I was a little concerned about my little fella and his classmate, Chucky. I had been avoiding walking with the kid and his nanny for a few days and hoped that the kid has chilled to some extent.

So I waited for the reliever nanny to collect Chucky and we set off on our walk from school. My son started picking up sticks, leaves and pine cones from the sidewalk. After about 10 minutes, his little hands were full and he looked quite happy with his collection. Chucky suddenly decided that he wants to look at the collection. My son refused and moved away. Chucky followed him and insisted on taking the collection from my son’s hands. At that point in time, I gently told Chucky that my son is not interested in showing his collection to him and he should let him be! Chucky is something else … He totally ignores me (again!); grabs everything that my son was holding and walks away triumphantly. Before I could react, my son started crying inconsolably and I reached out to him. I felt like I failed him as a mother in some unexplainable way. It was very sad. All I could say to him was that he could collect other sticks and leaves, and to ignore Chucky who was laughing at him for crying. It took so much restraint on my part to stop myself from grabbing my son’s collection from Chucky’s hands!!

That was the Thursday from last week. Friday was a PD day. On Monday, Chucky’s mother picked him up. On Tuesday, Chucky was not at school. Today, the reliever nanny was happy to see me and waved to me. I smiled back, however I decided to stay a while at school and let Chucky and his nanny have a 5 minute head start. In spite of that, as we got closer to home, I saw Chucky and his nanny who looked like they were waiting for us. Chucky kept calling out to my son and saying how he is always slow. My son did not say anything; however he moved away from Chucky and held my hand tightly. Chucky made his way to my son and started reminding him of how he took away all the things he collected and how he made him cry. Chucky actually started mock crying and then he told my son that it was all really funny! Through all his taunting and teasing, my son was very silent and totally ignored Chucky. We had to part ways at the end of a street and as we walked towards our home, I just felt a sense of pride well up inside me for my 4-year Old. He did NOT allow Chucky to get to him. He actually ignored Chucky.

I don’t know why I am writing about Chucky and his misdeeds. Since my child is involved? Perhaps as a reminder for myself that there will always be others like Chucky in my kids’ lives. There are kids who get a kick out of hurting other kids L It is sad when such a kid is only 4 years old.

Crushes? Crutches?

A few weeks ago, my oldest revealed to me that he has a secret crush! He followed that up immediately with “Don’t tell Dad! He will make fun of it!”. Of course, Craigley need not know about it. I can keep a secret about a secret crushJ. So it turns out it is this girl named C. I asked him if he spends a lot of time with C? It turns out that he actually spends a lot of time with S since they really understand each other and work well together. I wanted to tell him that perhaps he is confused about his crush, however he is 11 years old; really, this is NOT serious by any definition! After a couple of weeks, he actually confided in me that he has changed his mind and there is some other girl who is his crush. He did NOT reveal any names, however I was sure it was S! I was also mighty proud of him for realizing thatJ. A week later, he told me that this whole thing about secret crushes is really silly and he is over it. OK. Who am I to argue with that wonderful logic?

Last night, just before he went to bed, he asked me if I purchased the cans he needed to take to school for the Food Drive. I told him that I did not as there is still plenty of time to donate the cans. My son looked like he was ready to cry. I did not know if that was a good thing or just plain annoying. I know they have been talking about empathy at school; however this reaction was just too much! So, I asked him to calm down and explain the urgency. He started saying how S had been covering for him at school. Every time he forgot something, she had helped him by remembering it for him. Apparently, she requested him to NOT forget bringing in cans as soon as possible since they are competing with another class! He was almost ready to cry since he didn’t want to disappoint her again. It was my turn to almost cry. My boy is growing up … he cares about a girl’s feelings! Crush or not, that’s so sweet.

I immediately put together a few things from our kitchen. His smile, as always, was priceless.