Why would I call him a racist? Brace yourselves for a bit of a story!
Ever since ASid was old enough to learn new things, I
would request Craigley to teach him or take him to classes. These requests
would be made only for those skills I didn't and still don't possess and there
are 3 that are so very important for the survival of a Canadian kid or adult;
especially, social survival! These, in my opinion (and mine alone), are biking,
swimming and skating!
Craigley is competent in all the above skills/activities.
I enrolled ASid in swimming when he was 18 months old. Craigley complained that
ASid was most of the time outside of the pool than in the water. I concluded
the boy was too young for swimming! After 18 months had gone by, I registered
ASid in the Skate Canada program offered through the Seneca College.
Unfortunately, as mentioned in a previous post, it was a parent-tot program!
Craigley hit the proverbial ceiling within a few classes and most classes ended
in ASid sitting on the ice and me crying on the benches. I moved ASid a few
months later to the less expensive Toronto City program that required just the
child on the ice. By then, ASid didn't care for skating! I also tried swimming
again at the age of 5 where the child is in water and the parent can sit and
watch; once again, Craigley remarked that ASid perhaps does not like swimming!
Around this time, Craigley also concluded that ASid can't bike if his life
depended on it! As usual, I blamed myself for the "short comings" in
my child. I can't do these things and hence, my child is unable to do them as
well?!
It is so easy to give up on a child. Especially, after
a long day of work, wouldn't you want to get home and relax? Yeah, almost all
of us! Who really wants to spend part of their weekends struggling with a
child? Nobody, but most parents do. It is an unwritten commandment for parents
- Thou shall spend as much time as possible with your child (whether you like
it or not).
So, there was our child...can't bike, can't swim and
barely skates! If I ever worried about drowning, Craigley would say, "We
are in Toronto! Where is the water?". And life went on...
I had to try again. When ASid was 9, I got him to take
swimming lessons with a friend. It was a bit expensive, however not as
expensive as my child's life or anyone else's life! Now, at the age of 12, ASid
is in Ultra Swim Level 7. He actually enjoys the social pool parties that have
suddenly sprung up in his life since last Summer! Where is the water? It is
everywhere.
When it comes to children, discussions and
disagreements are expected between parents. These days, we are at it again with
Hans' skating lessons. Even though I spared Craigley the trouble of being on
the ice with a tot by waiting 2 extra years to start off Hans with skating;
Craigley insisted on watching Hans skate. Since last October, Craigley probably
attended 7 skating lessons. After last week's lesson, Craigley told Hans that
the former's time is being wasted by attending the latter's skating lessons! At
that point in time, I lost it and told Craigley to not waste his time anymore.
When discussions and disagreements are aired out in
front of children, it is rather unfortunate for the family. However, it is not
an unusual occurrence in most families; I learned that by talking to other
parents. It helps to know that Craigley and I are "normal" parents,
and yet it doesn't help at all.
OK! Back to the story...
Yesterday, Hans' school organized a Skate for all the
students. It was a massive undertaking by one parent and other parents volunteered
to help. I volunteered Craigley and he was kind enough to take the day off. It
was great to see Hans on the ice with his dad. He actually skated more than he
ever did in any of his skating lessons!
After skating, Craigley exclaimed, "That's what one
Kinder Surprise will get you!". Even as I got ready to defend my little
fella and Craigley followed that up with something like...no wonder since you people are not athletic! Excuse me, you
people? That's when I called him a racist! And as usual, he laughed it
off...
This post is not really about anyone being
racist...real or otherwise! It is more about the races we send off our kids to
and if we do want them to win those races or at least complete them; we need to
have a lot of patience. If a child falters or gives up, we cannot chalk it up
to genetics and definitely not give up on them!
Sometimes the solutions are quite simple...as simple
as the promise of one Kinder Surprise! Sometimes, it just requires a bit of
patience. Sometimes, our kids will let us know what they need if we are willing
to listen.
2014, I will listen to my children and find out how I
can help them win their races in spite of their races.
Happy New year everyone!
