NOT even for FUN!

I am sure that I mentioned this in September - Chucky and Hans are in the same class after a year's break. Hans felt from the first day back at school that Chucky hasn't changed much! I felt that it was rather unfortunate.

A few weeks from now is Chucky's b'day party. Hans has been invited along with 18 other kids from their school‎. Hans right away declined. He said that he wouldn't want to attend a mean kid's party. I tried to convince him that there will be other kids there and it will be a lot of fun. Hans said that he cannot be a part of that fun. He insisted that I let Chucky's parents know he can't be there!

Chucky's parents are nice people and this was perhaps their way of extending the proverbial olive branch to us. Too bad I couldn't meet them half way. Hans has become somewhat of an advocate against bullying. He has reported to me a few sightings of a few kids being "tortured" by their friends/classmates. The one that disturbed Hans the most has been of one 5 year old boy forcing another 5 year old boy to admit that the latter is not Canadian! It brought back a memory from when ASid was 5 years old. Where are kindergartners gettting this info from? It is disheartening and a bit frightening.

Hans hopes that by sharing this information with me I can somehow help these kids. I do what I can do; I have talked with a couple of parents‎ about Hans' concern for their children's well being. However, I have also asked them to verify with their own children before/if they decide to take action. Most parents let it go when it involves 4 or 5 year old kids. They ask their kids to be tough or walk away. It is tough for kids to walk away!

I am glad that Hans was able to express his feelings and I respect them. Although it is ‎awkward to run into Chucky's parents and try to come up with legitimate excuses to not have a play date or to not attend a b'day party, standing by my child is worth it.
 

So, why did you?

Yesterday, Thursday, Hans spent a good few minutes watching an episode of some superhero ‎on the computer with Craigley. It could have lasted a good several minutes if I hadn't reminded them that it was almost Hans' bedtime. Some evenings, Craigley breaks his own rules! The boys are not supposed to watch TV or play games on the computer or any other device Monday to Thursday. Well, as long as everyone involved is happy, I usually don't complain.

As Hans said goodnight to Craigley, he asked his Dad for the umpteenth time, "who is your favourite superhero?” Craigley refused to respond and asked Hans to get ready for bed. Hans insisted and Craigley told him that they can talk about it next day morning. Hans was not happy with that response. As he came up the stairs, he complained to me that it only takes a couple of seconds to name a favourite superhero; then, why would his Dad make him wait a whole night?

I could have just let things be, but I understood his anguish and commented that Craigley is weird that way. Immediately, Hans questioned, "Why did you marry him then?" For some reason, I decided to be ambiguous and simply stated that people marry people for many different reasons. But Hans refused to give up; he wanted to know why I married a weird guy?!

So I told him that I wanted to have ASid and Hans‎ and the only way to get them was to marry Craigley. I was so proud of my answer till Hans said something like the following:

You could have married someone better and you could have had better versions of us!

Whoa kid!! Seriously?! He is this mad at his Dad for not answering one question!! I could have not responded to his outburst, but I did. I let Hans know that I wanted the exact versions of ASid and Hans as I have them now. I love the versions that Craigley helped me make! That seemed to put an end to our conversation.

‎Then, I heard something like this from the washroom:

You didn't know you were going to have us when you married him! So, why did you?

This ‎kid is too much! Should I even be indulging him in this conversation?! But I do learn a lot about my kids when they have these "moments". Should I continue when he is obviously questioning my marriage to his father?!

What a moral dilemma! So, I did a Craigley on him and asked him to ‎go to bed.

An Aside:

3 days ago, on a Tuesday, Craigley asked Hans to quit being a big clown and focus on practising his piano. To which, Hans responded that he no longer considers Craigley his Dad! Hans was super serious. He chose to walk to his piano lesson in the cold than take a ride from Craigley that day. I had to step in and play mediator. Both the father and son apologized to each other for hurting each other’s feelings, and all ended well.

There are days I am bewildered at how deeply dramatic my 7 year old is; I am also concerned about the “come kick me” attitude he displays with his Dad! Even ASid knows when to be quiet and listen to his Dad. What happened with Hans?! This child is something else!!