The BEST day ever...

Hans loves to feel like one of the big boys. He loves it when ASid's friends come over. A couple of days ago was no exception! It was ASid's 15th birthday and he invited 4 friends to come over ‎to our home to hang out and have pizza. 2 of the friends were from ASid's new high school and Hans was super excited to meet them.

The night before, Hans could barely contain his excitement. He proclaimed that the next day was going to be the best day of his life.

As each of ASid's friends arrived, Hans made sure he was front and centre of the "Welcome Party" by introducing himself with gusto! It was super cute and absurd at the same time. Hans also made it a point to open the door to his bedroom and show off his well-honed skill at creating amazing messes in every nook, corner and available space! That was annoying and embarrassing for me, but somewhat empowering for Hans. He felt like he was measuring up on some invisible scale. It was a strange display of man cub like bravado that seemed to announce to the high school aged guests that Hans is no less than them!

Hans stuck with the 5 teenagers ‎like his life depended on it. After about an hour, I had to do a quick grocery run; when I got back, Hans wasn't with the teen gang. Upon inquiry, I found out that Hans was relegated to the basement. When I went to check up on him, he said that his older brother told him to get lost. I felt sorry for the little guy, but glad that he was handling the situation quite well.

Hans tried to join the older kids one more time, and was told to leave as the game they were playing was too mature for Hans. The second exclusion hit him hard. ‎Hans walked away and literally drowned out his sorrows by putting on headphones and watching some YouTube content on the iPad. He barely spoke with anyone afterwards, and it almost looked like he was deliberately disengaging himself from the masses. Strangely, by not wanting to associate with the teens, Hans' cool factor increased. The other teens were drawn to him and wanted to know what he was watching/doing?! Hans simply nodded his head and silently signaled to them; he didn't really engage in small talk!

When ASid's friends left and I asked Hans if it had been the best day of his life, he responded with "No, it was a normal day." ‎I expected a barrage of complaints and possibly a therapeutic session to help him deal with rejection, and no such drama ensued! It was an 8 year old who had already moved on.

A normal day is just as good as an anticipated BEST day…sometimes even better!
 

Finding my firstborn!

August 22, 2003 was the day we celebrated ‎ASid turning 2 by taking him to watch Finding Nemo. There were 4 adults and a toddler. Although Sir B had watched the movie already, we were glad he accompanied us! ASid, at that time, had a tendency to not watch a movie to the very end. Craigley and I took turns missing the endings of movies those days, and some days my brother relieved us from that deprivation! Having Sir B there meant that the rest of us could all see a movie from the beginning to the end...for a change!

Fast forward to 2016 and Finding Dory ... I asked ASid if he would like to watch the movie with his Momley for old times' sake?! He was like "Can't! Already made plans with my friends! Sorry!" Part of me was a little crushed; but then I managed to put things in perspective - why would a 14 year old watch an animated family flick with his 41 year old mother? Silly Momley!

ASid's 14th year was challenging. I was told that 13 is rough for girls and 14 for boys. I didn't think much about it then, but perhaps it is true. ASid has been the most unlike his usual self in the last few months.‎ 

... His phone became his best friend ... His friends became more important than ever before ... ‎He became Facebook friends with my dad and not his dad ... 

But then, he also most likely felt unlike his usual self.

... His face broke out ... His body rebelled against him in more ways than one ... His voice cracked ... He shot up in height ...

Some challenges/changes were welcomed and some were despised! It didn't help that Hans kept inquiring about the "red dots" on his older brother's face or that Craigley made "peach fuzz" a catch phrase at the dinner table! To have one's face scrutinized on a daily basis is daunting for sure. No wonder ASid seemed to prefer his own company almost all the time. ‎Perhaps that explains why most teenagers close their doors and shut their families out?!

So, ASid spent the most amount of time, in the last year, in his room. He has emerged to go to school; to eat breakfast, lunch, dinner‎ and the occasional snack; and to watch some TV or Netflix! Some days I look at him and I know exactly who he is and some days I wonder who he is. Could I have lost a boy in the confines of our home?! But then again, I know the boy needs time before he is found.

Meanwhile, I ended up watching Finding Dory with Hans! Well, I have learned to seize those moments when I can. While there are always those moments that could have been, I can’t complain about my life.

On that note, I hope ASid has the most fantastic year of his life…and I hope to find him more outside of his room than inside this year.