What a crush means...

Hans has used the word crush a few times and I did wonder if he understood what the word meant a couple of times; however, I never actually asked him about it!

Today, I finally did!

Hans had a secret to share. It was not his own. It belonged to my friend Y's younger son J2 who is 6 years old. Apparently, J2 has a crush on a girl in his class. It totally took me by surprise. I am not sure what J2 meant by that; however. I asked Hans what his understanding of it was?!

This is what he said, "It means he likes her and he wants to ..." At this point in time, Hans did double air quotes and finished the sentence with "smooch smooch" ! Then he proceeded to add this: "It is not like he wants to marry her!"

Wow! "smooch smooch"! I felt enlightened!

 

Greek God strikes again!

I have decided to call my "dad friend" Greek God! Why not? No regular guy can make most men in my life so insecure!

A few days ago, it was parent - teacher night at Hans' school. Craigley has a new job now and it was his first time in many days at Hans' school. As far as Craigley was concerned, I was just another parent at school. Well, I did say I was going to “hang up” my helping hands. So, to Craigley's surprise, this dad walks up to me and hands me an envelope! Craigley immediately reacted this way, "Hey Greek God, whatever it is you handed my wife, it is going into recycling as soon as we get home!" And I was like "Damn it Greek God!"

OK, those weren't exactly the words; but close!

I thought there ended the matter. However, on the way back home, Craigley mentioned that he gave Greek God a piece of his mind. I wasn't exactly thrilled and let Craigley know that I was simply helping with a movie night at school and Craigley was behaving like a jealous husband and he shouldn't have said anything to another parent on the school playground! I was really upset. Unfortunately, Hans heard all of it.

So, it was no surprise that Hans brings it up for discussion a week and a day later.

"I am worried about dad and you"

 "What do you mean?"

 "I am worried about your relationship"

 "Why?"

 "Did dad and Greek God really fight over you on the playground?"

 I tried not to laugh and responded calmly.

"Men fight over beautiful women. I don't think Greek God and your dad were fighting over me! You worry too much!"

 There was a momentary pause and Hans said, "But they can also fight over the nicest woman on the planet!"

 I didn't know what to say, so I said, "I am not the nicest woman on the planet!"

 "But you are! Are you mad at dad?"

 Why does this child think so much?

"Hans, my baby, I am not mad at dad and I am not going away with Greek God. Please stop worrying so much!"

 A few more reassuring words later, Hans finally fell asleep. However, I couldn't! How could I? I felt like Helen of Troy and decided to capture that moment forever, and started writing this post!

The next day morning, I shared the above conversation with ASid. Here is what he said:

I can't believe dad hasn't progressed in the last few months. I don't understand why Hans is wasting his time thinking nonsense. I'd rather think about the possibilities of Quantum Physics!

Wow! What a perspective! I guess I should stop feeling like Helen of Troy, and get on with it! Sigh!

 

Alas! The hoodie that was!

ASid did not ever care about appearances. Just the other day, he wore a size 12 pair of jeans instead of a size 14 he needed to wear. I don't even know where he found that old pair! I pointed that out to him and he brushed it off with "I don't care!". He looked a bit odd with his ankles exposed, but no one can say he wasn't warned about it! I am sure, if his friends are honest, they would have pointed that out to him as well.

On the other hand, Hans is very particular about his clothing. ‎Even for Halloween, he likes to search for that perfect costume that speaks to him. He likes to look good and he cares about appearances. There is this one hoodie he cares a bit too much about and this is a story about that hoodie. 

This hoodie is definitely one of a kind as in no one at school had this hoodie. It became synonymous with Hans. There were times he wore it every single day of a week. After 2 years of wearing that hoodie, I had to literally retire it. It was getting too small for Hans.

A couple of days ago, ‎my friend Y and I dropped off Hans and her older son J1 at their Art class and decided to go for a walk. Y's younger son J2 did not have a jacket on him. Since our home is closer to the Art class, we decided to go and get something that J2 could wear. As I was looking for appropriate clothing, I saw the infamous hoodie. It seemed like the perfect piece of clothing for J2 to wear and it also turned out to be a perfect fit!

We had a good walk and went back to get the older boys from the Art class. As soon as Hans saw us, he looked like he was going to cry. He insisted that he wanted to go home immediately. I insisted that we were early and that he should stay put for the next 10 minutes and wait for the class to finish. Art class has become a little stressful for me recently as Hans has become chatty and the teacher has complained about it quite a bit‎. I actually dread what I have to hear about at each pickup!

After 10 minutes, Hans comes back to me and this time the waterworks were on full force. I looked at his Art teacher with concern and she said Hans was very good that day. She had no complaints. So, I pulled Hans into an empty room and asked him to explain his tears. Through several sobs, he let me know that he couldn't stand someone else wearing his beloved hoodie!

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Hans couldn't wear this hoodie anymore; so what difference does it make?! He responded that he would like to preserve it for the next generation. The drama lasted a good 10 minutes and it seemed excessive to say the least. Finally, Hans did calm down. As we walked back home, my friend Y guessed that it had something to do with the hoodie! How predictable is Hans?!

I was a little embarrassed that my ‎child could be so petty. After all, it was just a hoodie - a hoodie that had seen good times and that didn't fit anymore. I even wondered why I have been chosen to deal with all the hoodie problems of the world. Tad exaggerated, but it felt like that!

I changed my mind later that day when Hans had to say something like the following before he went to bed:

I really didn't want to cry, but the tears just came out when I saw my hoodie. I am sorry for upsetting you.

When I heard that, I had to say to myself, "Damn it Jim! He is only 8 years old! He is not God and I am definitely no God!"

And here ends another hoodie tale.

Note: I thought I already posted a hoodie story; but apparently this is the first one!

 

Culture Torture!

All cultures are to be respected and revered, however most cultures have certain expectations or particular peculiarities that petrify most people within that culture! Such is one cultural occurrence that Hans is afraid of tremendously. Unfortunately the child has adorable cheeks; some would even call them the quintessential "chubby cheeks"! Now, here is the torture part. Whenever there is a family gathering at my parents' home and there are several ladies in attendance, they feel the urge to pinch Hans' cheeks - it is more like an attempt to stretch them! This is meant to be a sign of affection to show the child that s/he is adored by the person; however, the said person invariably comes across as a cheek(y) torturer!

Hans, being Hans, is very aware of where danger lurks. He mentioned a few times that if he ‎has to attend a gathering at my parents' home, he would make sure to cover his cheeks! Alas, even the best laid plans fail sometimes.

We were gathered at my brother's new home a couple of days ago. It was my sister-in-law's birthday. My parents and her parents were in attendance along with Sir B and us 4. ASid quickly latched on to UB aka Sir B, and was happy to carry on a monologue for the rest of the evening. God bless Sir B's soul! Hans tried to play with my nephew and his cousin RoV. RoV is only 2 and he was in his own happy zone. Finally, Hans settled himself in a chair to simply observe the people around him. That's when it happened. My brother's mother-in-law descended on him and, pinched‎ and stretched Hans' cheeks to her heart's content.

To be honest, I did not actually witness the scene‎; but I saw Hans run away and head to a part of the house where there was no one. I followed him there and found out what happened. I took it upon myself to let the lady know that Hans did not appreciate her gesture of affection. Fortunately, she wasn't too offended and in fact, apologized to Hans. Hans, however, was not exactly in a forgiving mood!

On the way back, Hans and I shared the incident with Craigley and ASid. All Craigley said was, "She pinched my cheeks too!" At that point in time, we all burst out laughing.

Sometimes, torture can be fun; especially when it is happening to someone else‎!

In spite of the above strange (and not so nice) note, I’d like to believe that culture torture can be diminished or perhaps even eliminated if there can be a peaceful protest ‎or a calm dialogue. There is always hope!

NOTE: A bit of a literary license has been used to coin the phrase "Culture Torture". I am sure the literary gods and the grammar police can both forgive me for once!

 

You are ruining my Planet!

The other day, Hans and I were walking to school and we saw a car idling on the other side of the street. We were on the sidewalk. Hans could see smoke coming out from behind the car. He wanted to know why!

I told Hans that the driver is idling. I also expressed a bit of frustration at how lovely the weather was and that I could perhaps understand if it had been a super cold day‎! I couldn't believe what came out of Hans' mouth. He called out rather loudly, "You stupid, dumb guy! You are destroying my planet!" Hans was ready to cross the street and give a piece of his mind to the driver.

I was just relieved that the windows weren't down and the driver didn't hear Hans' screaming (almost swearing) at him. It is unbelievable that an 8 year old could have such road rage! This was also a moment where I was confused whether to be proud of my child's determination to save his planet or whether to reprimand him for his inappropriate use of language.

I did both. I gently reminded Hans that he must be careful how he speaks, but that I understand and appreciate his concern for our planet.

 

Friendship+Love

Some people in my life doubt the existence of my friend Smoggy‎. They don't think he is real. But he is! For the boys, he is a legend! As with most legends, there are always stories to tell.

Here is a Smoggy story...more like a story in which Smoggy made a special appearance...and he is not even aware of ‎all these special appearances he makes in the lives of the boys!

The other day, we were in the car and Craigley was talking about when he was a young boy and was in the school choir. He mentioned how he wasn't a good singer and preferred to be at the very back of the group. Unfortunately, he would be dragged to the very front because of his height; but then he would be promptly sent back as soon as he was heard!

The boys had a good laugh and it could have ended there; however, Craigley mentioned Smoggy and his singing. The boys wouldn't give up till I shared that story!

Smoggy and I would work late hours often. For both of us, it was our first job and we were young. We did not mind putting in the long hours. ‎Sometimes Smoggy would whistle an old tune and we would work away merrily! One day, for whatever reason, Smoggy burst into a song. He actually sang for the first time ever in my presence. 

And what did I do? I said something like, "no wonder you whistle"!

And what did Smoggy do?‎ He enrolled himself in vocal lessons!

At this point in the story, ASid exclaimed, "He must have been in love with you mom!" I corrected him, "Not in love with me, but loves me for sure"!

‎When I look back, I am not sure if I ever apologized properly to Smoggy! But he never brought it up as an episode in our lives where I scarred him forever! In fact, he was very excited to share that the first song they sang in his vocal class was a song from my favourite movie! He gave me 3 guesses; I guessed "Do Re Mi", "My Favourite Things" and "The Sound of Music"! It was "Edelweiss"!

At this point in time, the boys were like "wow mom! How couldn't you guess that?"; Craigley was like "poor Smoggy!"; and I was like singing the song! It is always wonderful to recall memories from the past; moments spent with people I love. It is occasionally a teachable moment for me and a learning moment for the boys.

I hope the boys can one day meet Smoggy and hear the other side of the stories I share with them. Meanwhile, I hope they are never that harsh to a friend they love and I hope they have friends as loving and forgiving as mine.‎ 

 

One of those perfect moments!

As usual, ASid sprung it on me last minute and as per the norm of the day, I got a text message from school! He was volunteering at school in the evening and he needed some semi-formal clothing. It may not seem like such a big deal for most parents; however, this is a kid who only wears t-shirts and jeans! Each school year, we get him one pair of slacks and a dress shirt to go with it...just in case. Sometimes half way through the school year, those backup options are outgrown and there is a last minute rush to find appropriate substitutes.

It is not just clothing that is a concern, it is also scheduling. Hans may have a play date and instead of taking him to it, I would have to rush home to make sure ASid has everything he needs.

That's exactly what happened! Hans was super unhappy that he had to go home right after school. He wanted to stay back and play with his friends. I had to remind him that I am a mother of 2 boys and sometimes, I have to be there for his brother.

When we got home, ASid was already there. Usually, he is home an hour later. Sure his being home early showed a sense of responsibility, but it also got me wondering what he did with that extra hour every day! However, that's a discussion for another day. This particular day, this is what happened!

ASid looked at his younger brother and apologized to him. He let him know that he knows Hans would rather play at school than be home early. ASid also thanked me for being there for him even when he made a last minute request!

Wow! What a wonderful moment! 

And in related news, it turned out that ASid was the most overdressed kid at the volunteer event. He might have easily stayed back at school and managed instead of rushing home and rushing both his brother and mother as well so he could be appropriately dressed! 

Oh well, what can I say?! Sometimes all the trouble is worth something. I got one of them perfect moments out of it.