A Fortune Cookie Tale

3-4 months ago, I was faced with the possibility of finding out something may be terribly wrong inside my body! There was a week to 2 weeks of tests and results before anything could be confirmed. However, I got all dramatic; reflected on life and got ready to die! Well, at least, I wasn't afraid of the possibility of Death. As it has been said, that's one thing that is inevitable anyways!

Well, everything worked out well for me and I felt a little foolish after the fact.

Recently, my friend C is going through a similar experience. She was told to go to Emergency like her life depended on it and then, 13 hours later, she comes back home with a new ailment! She is bed ridden now and like most normal human beings, she is pondering the possibility of Death.

In the last one week, I got to visit with her 3 times. First time, I took some soup for her. She looked so pale and weak; I literally wanted to feed her the soup myself. However, she didn't exactly have an appetite. Second time, I went with my friend Y who brought over some clementines. C actually managed to eat one and we were all happy. My third visit was 2 days later and I was relieved to see some colour in my friend's face. Her little guy was eating a fortune cookie and she felt like eating one too. To me, that was a positive indicator of her getting better.

So, she ate a fortune cookie and read out loud her fortune. It said something like, "Enjoy your today as there may be no tomorrow”. She panicked and blurted out, "Does this mean I am going to die?" And immediately, her little guy said, "Mommy, are you going to die?" Then, we had to change the topic quickly!

When I got home, I got a text from C. She was like what a terrible fortune...am I going to die? I was like go and get another fortune cookie; get a second opinion!  She was like I like that!

Today is the tomorrow mentioned in the fortune. My friend is alive and well.

There ends this fortune cookie tale.

Thank you C for inspiring me to write this post. As I typed the words above, I was crying and laughing at the same time. I do believe C will have a long life, and I hope to grow old with her and my other friends. I also believe we will see our grandkids one day and share this tale with them! And we will all have a good laugh together.

Today is also Smoggy’s birthday. Happy Birthday Smogs! Hope you have a wonderful long life.

 

The rewards we reap...

Hans has been through a lot in the last few weeks; I felt that it might cheer him up if we hung out together and have some mom-son time.

One of the communities in our neighbourhood invited the rest of us to attend an event for children that took place at Nathan Phillips Square over the weekend. Hans wasn't exactly enthusiastic about it, but I insisted. Couple of his classmates also extended the invitation to him. I wanted us to be good neighbours. I wanted him to show support to his classmates.

So, we set off together. From the moment we started walking toward the bus stop, Hans started complaining.

Why can't dad drive us? I am tired already.

I refused to listen and kept going.

Can we be there for 5 minutes and then come back home?

I agreed.

We got off at Dundas subway station. Dundas used to be my station when I worked. Just seeing it brought back wonderful memories. I tried to remember the best way to get out and walk to Nathan Phillips Square.

Hans started complaining again.

My feet are tired. Let us go back home!

As we found a way to get to Bay Street, my memories literally flooded me. I felt like I had gone back in time. I felt young and energetic.

Hans wanted to rest a bit.

The boy sounded so whiny. I wanted to sit him down and let him know that I gave up a life from another time and traded it with this one that is listening to him complain about walking to an event! Is that a good trade?!

That was a terrible thought, however not worth a second thought. I am not perfect; but I am certainly not mean. I felt bad for a moment and then I decided to let it go!

Instead, I shared my memories with him. It kept him occupied and we got to the event. Not surprisingly, we ended up staying almost 2 hours. We had a late lunch and hopped on a train at Dundas to get back home.

The boy did not complain at all.

Later that day, while he was brushing his teeth, he wanted to know how I am such a good parent?! He was genuine and so kind. I felt terrible that I even had a momentary thought about trading this life for a past life!

I told Hans I am not such a good parent. However, the boy insisted. He told me it was a great idea to go support our neighbours and his classmates. He said he had fun. And then, he paid me the ultimate compliment...he told me that I am Wonder Woman! Then he followed that with, "That's because you have good parents! Grandpa is Superman and Grandma is the original Wonder Woman!"

I couldn't argue with his excellent superhero logic.

And I wouldn't trade him for anything.

Note: Boys, if you ever get upset and think terrible thoughts or say mean words, and then feel bad about it…at least, you can blame it on genetic predisposition; at most, you can own up to your words and apologize. No one is perfect and there is always room for improvement. Take care out there!

 

So glad "Someone Else's Child" is back!

For 2 years, I looked for a location to start a tutoring facility with my friend Y and another friend. After 2 years of diligent scouting, the other friend got wrapped up in her already existing business and the 3 of us disbanded "with a whimper"! It was quite disheartening.

So when I started tutoring randomly just to help out parents, I realized how much it is my calling! Then I had to cut back a bit to focus on my own child. After helping him through the journey and the pitfalls, I also realized I didn’t know what I wanted to do! It is a terrible feeling to not know.

As I was thinking about next steps for myself, I found out that the parents of the child I stopped tutoring were wondering when I would be available to tutor their child again. I was quite surprised as it was almost 4 months since my last session with their child! Then, I was quite overwhelmed with their patience. I also found out I have a mini waiting list of parents who want me to tutor their children.

It is an awesome feeling to be needed and wanted. But then I was back to the proverbial square one! Where do I do all this tutoring?! I don't have a location!

As I was pondering over this frustrating situation, I looked around myself. I was in the middle of my living/dining area. It was a massive mess. For over a year, I let it be in "creative mode". Hans had activity centres in that area -  the coffee table was moved to make a dance space; a table was added for Art and the dining table moved into a corner; there was the piano with music sheets everywhere and finally, LEGO all over the floor. Wow! No wonder my home is in demand for play dates. The dining table in the corner had become a snack table with various snacks ranging from candy, cookies to popcorn and chips.

I guess everyone, other than kids, tolerated it as long as Hans was prepping. Right after we got the unfortunate news in March, I got some breathing room and then everyone started breathing down my neck. My mom was like can I send you a maid? And I was like I am the maid in my home and I don't need competition! Craigley was like can I do something? And I was like I can do it! My friends were like we want to help and I was like I know. Everyone was itching and I wasn't scratching!

Somehow "Someone Else's Child" got me thinking. This child wanted to resume her lessons with me. I helped her with her reading and she had fun. Her parents noticed a tremendous improvement in her reading within 2 months. Their child wanted to read and showed a confidence while reading. How can I not respond to such kind feedback?! So, I decided to open up my home for this child. My home has hosted many kids and ASid's friends are always welcome to drop by anytime. We have an open door policy. So, why not for kids who want to drop in to learn?!

I decided to clean up. First thing I did was to get a shelf from IKEA. My friend Y and I put it together and she moved all the snacks from the dining table into the shelf. Her hospitality degree from Cornell came in handy - all the snacks were organized into sweet and savoury and further organized into other categories. Y started me off and I was on my way. Took me 3 whole days! Hans helped with LEGO; nice to know he wanted to clean up his own mess. I did the rest.

These were the reactions:

ASid: Are we selling our home? This looks so staged!

Craigley was speechless.

Hans: Sorry mom for all the mess I made. Thanks for cleaning up.

My friends in general: Is this the same house? So proud of you!

And to top it off, last Tuesday, I had "Someone Else's Child" restart her reading sessions with me. She was happy. Her mother was happy. I was happy.

I finally found my location!

Trendsetting Tendencies?!

The day before my Ottawa trip, I had lunch with 6 other moms; 2 of whom are my friends. As we enjoyed the delicious food, we started talking about our plans for the long weekend. When it was my turn, everyone (except my 2 friends) was taken aback. A few seconds later, they were all congratulating me on deciding to take off by myself. It appeared like a novel idea to them. Couple of them immediately decided to do the same one of these days.

I must reveal here that currently all those moms are stay-at-home or "working at their own pace".

I am not sure why they made such a fuss about it. They almost made it sound like it was a revolutionary idea. To be honest, I did not plan to take off on a whim and fancy. It was a painfully thought out process so that when I was gone, each of the 3 boys (yes, Craigley is part of the gang) had enough laundry, food and/or support. It was almost ridiculous as I was only gone one night!

I made sure Hans was packed for his 2 night stay at my parents' home. I made sure ASid had enough money/food for the 2 days as he planned to spend time with his friends. I made sure Craigley had clean dishes and plenty of food in the fridge. I made sure I was ready mentally as well. And in spite of all the prep, I still woke up at 2:24 am even though the train was scheduled for a 6:40 am departure!

What seemed glamorous on the outside was quite domesticated on the inside. So, what am I going to say to the ladies tomorrow when I see them?! The truth! All I need to do is share pictures I took in Ottawa! At the end of the day, the ladies are aware they are domestic goddesses. I can focus on the goddess part this once.

So, do I have trendsetting tendencies?! Not really. But I can enjoy the perception for now.

Note to boys: Sometimes, it is better to refrain from talking about things! This post is one such example. I could have just posted some pictures. But then, this is what boring Momley prefers to do - write! So if you stopped reading half way, I totally understand! No hurt feelings whatsoever!

 

 

The uncertainty of Time

I had 27 hours in Ottawa and barely 4 were spent with my friend KPF. The amount of time does not matter; I am glad I had any time at all. I haven't had one-on-one time with KPF since the last one many years ago. After that, I got married and had the boys. I got busy and visits with KPF became less frequent and more family oriented. Last year, when I got the note reminding me about KPF’s CF, I knew I had to make an effort.

Time is finite for each one of us. How we spend our time defines who we are and, whom we spend our time with also makes us who we are. So, this year, I decided to spend time with people who matter to me and people who add value to my life. Why waste precious time?!

Since KPF is in Ottawa, this wasn't going to be easy. But I wanted to make the effort. Part of me, as mentioned already, was terrified. However, I got over it and got myself ready. My only concern was that I am so out of touch with my friend that I wouldn't know how to have a conversation with him! Yes, I am afraid of awkward silences.

All my fears were for nought. I had the best 4 hour conversation ever...with moments of fun, laughter and seriousness. We actually caught up with one another in terms of our lives. I realized that we lasted almost 20 years because we are like each other. Both of us were able to go back in time and remember quite a bit. Predictably, I remembered more than KPF! Not that it was a competition or anything!

The most poignant moment came when KPF had to self-administer an IV drip. He was like hope you are OK?! I wanted to say that I was cleaning up after a couple of pukey boys a couple of weeks ago; however, I kept it a little palatable by mentioning the many dirty diapers I changed in my lifetime!! For sure, anything is better than that!

At the end of the day, Life is not entirely easy. I looked at my friend - so strong and so fragile. My friend who has always been there for me! My world is a better place because of him in it. I am so glad I got the 4 hours with him. I would make the effort again even if for 4 minutes!

Meanwhile in Toronto...

Hans cried Friday morning as he missed his mom. He cried himself into a fever. Lucky for him and me that he was with my mom! My mom did not let me know she had a sick child on her hands and the sick child did not know he was in the best hands possible!

Hans and I survived...we only did because we are fortunate enough to have some amazing people in our lives. And I hope we are fortunate enough to have them for a very long time.

...Back in Ottawa, I got the following accomplished in the leftover 23 hours:

Definitely did not sleep like a queen!

However, I ate like a champ! I actually took pictures of my meals; only the ones I ate by myself. It was a very short time I was gone, but it felt like I got a lot done. I also went sightseeing; looked at our Parliament buildings with renewed enthusiasm. I took a picture of William Lyon Mackenzie's statue for ASid. Did some personal shopping and felt a little selfish. Loved how I could hear both English and French everywhere I went. Last but not least, I enjoyed the solitude!

Right now, I am happy to be home! Dorothy said it best: There’s no place like home.

Addendum: I feel a little dumb, but I have to make this correction. Years from now, ASid would be disappointed in me if I didn’t admit to this mistake. I actually took a picture of “William Lyon Mackenzie King” and not “William Lyon Mackenzie”…apparently they are 2 different men!

 

Reminiscing about past travels and other (un)related things!

I worked all of 3 years in my entire life. I could talk about several things from my work days; however since I am travelling this weekend, I am reminded of my work travels.

During that period in my life, I went on 3 business trips - a conference in Halifax, management training in Vancouver and technical training in Ottawa. All 3 cities became my favourite cities - they are so distinct from each other and offer such varied experiences. Out of the 3 cities though, Ottawa is the most visited as I had/have family and friends there. However, when I visited Ottawa for work, I took the train for the first time. It was Business Class in VIA RAIL. I was immediately hooked.

So, I booked myself a round trip ticket in Business Class with VIA RAIL for my trip to Ottawa. ASid was like do you really need to be this extravagant?! And I was like this is none of your business kid! I always have to get punny with this kid. He was mostly supportive though. In fact, he told me to "be careful out there"! It is a phrase my mom uses all the time and it was delightful for me to hear it from my child. They say there comes a time when your children become your parents. Obviously, there is plenty of time for that! But it is good to know he has a bit of my mom in him.

I guess I have a bit of my mom in me too! She was always super conservative at home; however, when we travelled, she would do a 180 on us. She would become this person who would go all out and make sure we had the best time. I still have fond memories of travelling as a child in the “mother country"! We almost always travelled by trains. We always stayed with family, friends or at "holiday homes" my dad's work provided. The "holiday homes" were the best as they came with chauffeur driven cars and personal chefs. We never stayed at hotels.

In Ottawa though, I am staying at a hotel. While I was looking for a hotel, my mom's part of me kicked in. I couldn't decide between Fairmont and The Westin. I chose the latter based on rating. My friend Y was like do you really need a hotel for one night?! I am like absolutely! I got myself a nice room with a king size bed and I am going to sleep like a queen. 

Long live my mom who taught me to travel in comfort and style.

I believe it is going to be an awesome 27 hours.

That was typed up on my way to Ottawa yesterday and I am home now! Here are some shout-outs to some other deserving people:

Frederique – She was the girl at The Westin Ottawa reception. Yup! I am actually mentioning a real name! She was so kind and thoughtful especially when she found out I had been up since 2:24 am. Thank you Frederique!

Craigley - The hubby has a great past in Ottawa and Montreal staying at high end hotels and he is still considered a preferred guest. So, I got amazing upgrades on top of my already awesome room.

KPF - I don't know why I even mentioned him forgetting my birthday?! Really, who cares?! I asked him to pick his favourite restaurant for dinner and he picks a vegetarian restaurant for me. One of the best meals ever and the company was exceptional.

 

Momley is taking a day off!

The last time I took off by myself was in February 1999. That was when I went to see my friend KPF in Ottawa.

At the beginning of this year, I felt the desire to take off again and see my friend KPF. It was then I realized that in the last 18 years, I hadn't taken a day off to go away somewhere or anywhere by myself. 

So, on Jan 11, I asked KPF if it was OK to visit with him in April?! Usually, I just make an announcement and expect him to accommodate me. For some reason, I sought his permission this time. As usual, he was like "come on down"!

In January, the Good Friday long weekend in April seemed far away. A few days ago, it hit me that it was almost April. Then, I started coming up with all sorts of excuses to not make the trip. The best excuse I thought of was for KPF to forget that I ever requested to see him!

Couple of days ago, I got a note from him reminding me about my visit. KPF wanted to know details!

An Aside: This is my friend who forgets my birthday every year! He needs a reminder to read my blog...this blog! And he is my first reader! Although, at this point in time, I hope he doesn't read this particular post moving forward!

Anyways, I lost my biggest excuse with that reminder. So, I picked up the phone and talked with my friend. He was like "how are you?" and I couldn't stop talking for a few minutes.

KPF has the most patience amongst all the people I hold dear and cherish. He always lets me ramble on. I think I spoke about how in 1999, I actually noticed snowflakes being so beautiful and distinct from each other. It was then I heard the ticking of my wrist watch that I don't wear anymore. I also told him it wasn't entirely about spending time with him; it is about spending time alone by myself! Sometimes solitude is what we need...what I need.

After all the communication, the best news is that KPF and his super smart girlfriend are moving to Toronto. KPF's GF got accepted to a Master's program with full scholarship. However, KPF insisted that I make the trip to Ottawa because "it will be fun".

And that's just what I am doing. ASid wants me to go have fun. Hans is terrified that Momley will never come back. He insisted on coming along. On some level, I am a little terrified myself. I haven’t been away from the boys ever! I was almost tempted to buy Hans a ticket as well; however, I did not. Hans will survive. And I will too!

Note: Boys, when you get a chance, please read the poem “I Wandered Lonely as a Cloud” by William Wordsworth. Sometimes we must wander alone to appreciate the little things that go unnoticed in our busy lives. When we do take the time out for ourselves, we come back and treasure what we already have even more so than before. Trust me.

 

The sweet sweet irony!

My mom was a stay-at-home mom. When she had me, she had big dreams for me. She wanted me to have a career; be an important woman; manage an army of people and most importantly, be independent. I disappointed her on all counts.

Well, anyways, she is back from Ottawa and she is disappointed again. She couldn't understand why I didn't get the boys to help me clean up?!

This is rich...coming from a woman who didn't let her kids do any chores because she felt that they would have the rest of their lives to do chores. She wanted us to focus on our learning and we did! She wanted us to have fun and we did! My brother and I had a wonderful childhood and teenage.

Now that we are grown up, we do all the chores and more.

And I do believe the boys will do them as well. Eventually, we all become glorified maids and man servants in our own homes! However, I do understand where my mom is coming from. It is not really disappointment; it is genuine concern. And I appreciate it. Hopefully, the boys will understand where I am coming from if I ever complain about their choices in the future.

Till then, let us all live and let live.

 

The stinkiest 4-letter words!

Today is Day 5. What happened the last 4 days?!

The first 3 days, I triple washed clothing - hand washed, put them in a rinse cycle and then the full cycle. 

Why?!

Hans suddenly got afflicted with two stinky ailments. It is something going around his school.

Here comes a rant...children should be kept at home till they have fully recovered from a sickness they can potentially pass along to other children. If parents choose to send their sick children to school, they better have a darned good reason!

Alright! I got that out of my way. 

So, Hans was sick. Poor kid, he was losing it from both ends. Then, on the 3rd day, he passed it along to his brother. It felt like both boys lost control of their limbs and bodily movements. When I had to clean up after ASid as well, the melodramatic part of me made a brief appearance. I was like "Why are you boys punishing me?" Then, I totally lost it that night when Hans threw up on the bed. I started throwing sheets, clothes and everything else into a garbage bag. I didn't care about landfills or the environment. I hit the limit and I also broke down. A few hours later, I threw up.

Day 4 was Sunday. The boys were nicely recovering and their appetites were making a reappearance. They looked to me for sustenance. Strangely enough, I had no cans of chicken noodle soup and that's all the boys wanted!

At this point in time, ASid said something like "I wish I could invoke an omnipotent being for some chicken noodle soup!" Even though I was out of it, I asked him to call his uncle. ASid was like "You think he is omnipotent?" I was ready to lose it again, but I simply said "He is a being who can help you! Invoke him please!"

Within few minutes the boys had their chicken noodle soup. My wonderful brother also went to 3 different stores to find bananas that were ready to be eaten as that was my only request. All I had on Day 4 was a banana in 2 instalments.

There may be a question as to where Craigley was during this family ordeal! He was hit around the same time as Momley. When Craigley is sick, he retires into his man cave and quarantines himself. No complaints. We all must do what works for us.

So, what is the need to share this sick story with the boys who will read it years from now? I think it is a reminder for them that they are never alone. In sickness and in health, they have each other. They are brothers and they should invoke one another when in need. Sickness is temporary and brotherhood is forever.

I am so glad I have the brother I have. I am also glad I have the friends I have. My 2 friends, C and Y, regularly checked in with me the last 4 days to find out if I needed anything. That makes it also a reminder for the boys to surround themselves with good people. I hope they are also the good people who will check in on their friends when in need.

Take care boys!

And when you have some time, listen to the song "Fly" by Sugar Ray. For whatever reason, I am reminded of that song as I finish writing this blog post. My mom was in Ottawa when I went down and I really missed her. Maybe that’s why!