Then, one day...

Yesterday was a day of heat warning for Toronto. It is usually on days like those that I have to be out there! But sometimes, there are good reasons to brave the crazy weather.

The reason this time around was ASid's Grade 12 timetable. I had the task of retrieving the said timetable from his high school between 12:30 and 1 pm. Ever since the boy has been working, it seems like my workload has increased. And this is just a mere observation and not a complaint! I have no reason to complain because as usual, one of my friends stepped up to help me. C decided to take on Hans while I did the pickup.

Minutes before I got there, I got the first set of instructions in a text message:

Things I would want you to change on my timetable since I won't get a chance myself:

1. MCV4U0 in the first semester if possible

2. MDM4UO not in the same semester as MCV

3. SCH and SPH in different semesters

For the rest, I don't really care so much.

Thanks.

Although the boy was quite detailed and wrote complete sentences with number bullets and all, it made no sense to me. When I mentioned that to him, he obliged with a helpful list of definitions. Turns out all those codes mean Calculus, Data Management, Chemistry and Physics. So, armed with new found knowledge, I set forth for the pickup and possible changeups.

When I got to ASid's high school, I was literally a lone parent in a sea of teenage beings. Lucky for me, I have an open door policy for our home. I recognized half a dozen faces. A couple of them also recognized me and to my pleasant surprise, proceeded to help me. They immediately realized that the timetable is not what ASid would like; however, the guidance councillor and the program coordinator were of the opinion that they wouldn't recommend any of the changes ASid requested.

I felt a bit sorry for the boy. I wrote many texts apologizing for not coming through for him and at the same time, reassuring him that I would be there to support him in every possible way. Obviously, he was at work and got back to me a few hours later with "The timetable is fine. It is actually more than I could ask for, not going to lie." and he followed that up with an enthusiastic phone call.

Another teenage crisis averted with very little effort from Momley! And the best part was that the day ended with ASid coming home and taking Hans out with him. Both the boys took the bus to the neighbourhood EB Games and gave me an opportunity to catch up on the latest episode of Elementary.

Life is mostly good even on days with weather warnings! Then, I was reminded of the song from Mary Poppins, "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious"! I found new meaning in the lyrics and sang it in my head for the rest of the day!

 

300

Went to the CNE after about 10 years! Hans' first time! We were accompanied by my friend C and my new friend K (from the paternal "motherland") and their respective sons - 3 moms and 3 boys. We were there for about 10 hours and spent almost all the cash we had on us! Believe it or not, for the stuff we ate and for the stuff we brought back, it felt like a small fortune. But the memories we made will be priceless forever!

Welcome to the 300th post. Usually, it would be about Momley. This one is about the boys and how happy they make me.

One of the reasons I planned the trip to the CNE was the fact that ASid was working there this year. I wanted to see his first workplace and capture a milestone in his life. Craigley reminded me that it is simply the CNE and nothing special! It may be so, but that was immaterial for me.

When ASid heard about me wanting to drop by, he reacted quite adversely stating that he'd rather I not make the trip! I am not sure what he was thinking; however, after his one and only one day of training, he himself forwarded a discount code to the CNE to me and also gave permission to share with my friends!

Well, I would never set forth to embarrass ASid on purpose. Even when we got to the Food Building, I showed my friends ASid's booth from a distance. We got our food and we settled down to eat, and then, my phone rang. It was ASid! He wanted to know where we were and to my pleasant surprise, he came by to join us for lunch.

While the drama was unfolding with one boy, the other boy had his own drama happening.

Hans did not want to go on most rides. The other 2 boys were younger than him and were fearlessly going on all the rides. Hans was quite OK with that! He was only concerned that I was disappointed in him. At the beginning, it did get me upset and then I calmed down. I had to step back and look at it from his perspective. He was with friends and he was not afraid to say no to them. If Hans is able to overcome peer pressure and stand his ground, I should be supportive of it and not have an unnecessary emotional outburst!

Both the boys demonstrate a reflective side that I personally value in others. The ability to look back on our actions and make amends when necessary is wonderful. Both boys also don't seem to care about what people think of them. They are content with who they are and with the choices they make. I hope these are character traits that stay with them for the rest of their lives.

On that note, I would like to conclude this post by sharing a personal Momley moment.

At the CNE, there is lots of fun stuff to do. Toward the end, the boys wanted to ensure that they brought back home a substantial amount of loot. So, we decided to spend our last bit of money at one particular game booth. There was this girl who claimed to guess the age or weight or birth month of a person. The first 2 things would be guessed within 3 years or 3 pounds of the actual age or weight, and the last within 2 months of the actual birth month. I knew I could totally win the prize for Hans. People usually think I am 10 years older than my actual age! This girl made me 12 years older. When she realized I was only 44, she was apologetic. She should have just stopped there, but she proceeded to ask me about my background and once I told her, she exclaimed, "But you all age so well!"

And yes, lucky for me that I do not care when people think I am a high school dropout or a nanny or a grandma.

 

The First Day

Today was ASid's first day at his first official job! The "official" part implies that there is a SIN involved as well as a pay cheque and most definitely taxes!

The boy specifically wanted a job that required only 2-3 weeks of his time commitment. After all, it is summer vacation and a boy needs to hang out with his friends and get his teenage ya-yas out!

No one asked him to get this job. No one helped him get this job. It was all his initiative and doing. There was a time the boy would describe himself as curious (in one word); these days, the word is charismatic! He let me know that he sold his Math skills quite nicely to land the cashier job.

Yes, he will be working as a cashier for the next couple of weeks. Today is Day 1. I was a little nervous for him, but then I had to remind myself that the worst that could happen is that ASid would get fired. It would be a learning experience no matter how it goes.

The boy is 4 days from his 17th birthday. He has led quite the life. I am quite proud of the choices he has made and the roads he has travelled.

Recently, in a conversation with G, I said that I was embarrassed to admit that ASid can't ride a bike. I want to clarify that the embarrassment is all mine as a parent. I did not provide a suitable environment for ASid to learn bicycling. If I had, he would have that skill as well. To his credit, ASid does not care about it as much as I do.

For sure, I am not embarrassed in any way with what my children cannot do. I will only be mortified if they are ever not nice to anyone for no good reason. And as they are getting older and turning into their own selves, I am quite happy with the results.

On another positive end note, ASid survived the first day of work. He had to stand on his feet for 6 straight hours and did not get to eat lunch. He came home hungry and tired. The only mistake he made was miscalculating the number of ribs in/on a full rack – turns out that there are 12 (at least that is the count at the place he is working) and not 18 (absolutely no idea how he came with that number?!). He made that mistake only once (obviously!) and ticked off a customer who expected more ribs than s/he received.

As of now, ASid is waiting to find out if he will work another day at the CNE. And I do not care about it as much as he does!

With 4 more days to his 17th birthday, ASid has done well. I wish for wisdom this time around as he prepares to make important decisions about postsecondary education and his future.
 

New Land, First Friend

When we moved from the motherland to Canada, I had to go back to high school and finish what was then known as the OAC year or Grade 13. I was looking forward to higher learning and was annoyed with that step in (what I felt was) the wrong direction!

When I look back at that time now, I am glad I was sent back for an extra year of high school. That was where I met my first friend in the new land!

We arrived in October and school was already in session. I enrolled in 3 OAC courses and never stayed at school for lunch. Even with the unaccustomed cold, I felt better going home for lunch. I did not have a friend that first semester. I had a bit of a rough transition, but I was mostly confident in my knowledge and abilities. School was where I belonged!

My worst memory from that time was related to a presentation I gave in my English class. I combined Christopher Marlowe and Abraham Maslow, and delivered an insightful presentation. The teacher gave me a mark in the mid-70s. I was devastated and it didn't make any sense. When I asked for a reason, he responded that I spoke too fast and he did not understand half of what I said.

As someone who already was interested in teaching, my unspoken rebuttal to that pathetic reason was that he could have requested me to slow down and be clear. Sometimes feedback not only needs to be constructive, but it also needs to be immediate!

The next semester, I enrolled in the most advanced English course available. The only other student who I recognized was this girl who was also in that other English course from the previous semester.

I quietly found a seat right behind her and was pleasantly surprised when she turned back to look at me. She smiled at me and introduced herself and said that she loved my presentation from the last semester. Her exact words were, "I could listen to you forever!".

My worst moment of high school became the best moment when seen from her perspective.

The 2 of us have been friends since then. We went to York University together and we both chose English for a Major. We have been through Life's ups and downs; through weddings and funerals and much heartbreak.

She now lives in British Columbia. Last weekend, we spent some time together. We both reminisced about the days of our youth; how we wanted to be writers and also be the owners of a used book store. She admitted that she gave up hopes on becoming a writer. I let her know that I still hang on to the dream.

When she heard that I still aspire to be a writer someday, she advised that a book won't make a magical appearance! I have to write a bit here and there, and get some practice. And as usual, she was on the right track and I so badly wanted to share with her that I have been practising for a few years now!

It was wonderful to spend time with an old friend. I was inspired!

The Never Walk

I wonder if you are awake…

If yes, would you be up for a walk?

 

When night cloaks me

I feel fearless

It awakens yearnings that hide

From the blinding daylight

 

I want to walk the same streets

Disguised by the new moonlight

Away from prying eyes

That suffocate me with open arms

 

This false courage I feel…

When I close my eyes and dream!
 

A "Wish Making" Ceremony

For the last 6 years, I have been privileged to be part of an annual ceremony that Hans’ Art teacher, who also happens to be my friend, does! It is loosely called a “Wish Making” ceremony. It is very simple. Each individual who has been invited to be part of the ceremony gets to light a candle and make a wish. Then, each individual gets to partake in a simple meal that is affordable by most anyone in the world. When the meal is done, people can leave and take their candles with them. Before a candle is lit, one must write her name on it. And yes, with that, let me also divulge that only women are invited to this ceremony!

And there is a little price attached to the invitation to this ceremony. If a wish comes true, then the lucky woman must host the ceremony for the women in her life.

After about 4 years, my friend wondered if my wishes were coming true?! I let her know that my wishes may never come true. She wondered why?! I told her that I would like everyone to be happy. She looked at me like I was crazy!! She then proceeded to enlighten me. She told me that a wish should be personal and achievable.

For some reason, I was trying to be a beauty pageant contestant and wish for world peace!

So, the last couple of times, I made my wishes a little bit more personal than before. I am waiting for them to come true.

Meanwhile, last month, I turned a year older and following was the best wish I received. It was from Sir B.

“All the best wishes and may another year of wisdom bring you maybe good fortunes!”

I loved it and responded, “The best part of your message is the ‘maybe’ part. Love your cautious optimism!”

Turns out it was “stupid autocorrect” and it was supposed to be “MANY good fortunes”!

Well, I had a good laugh. It was one of the best birthday gifts ever and it was a typo.

Wishes may or may not come true. When they do, it is like being a child again. When they don’t, it is like an opportunity to wish again. And we must exercise every such opportunity with a pinch of cautious optimism!