Black What?! Are you really listening?!

A while ago, one of my friends and I had an interesting conversation. We thought we were talking about our favourite show and then we realized that she was talking about Black-ish and I was talking about Blacklist (without “The” article). It was amazing how we were listening so intently and yet, we were listening to most likely our own excited voices!

 

And anyone who has seen both the shows will know that it is very challenging to confuse one with the other. I did end up watching a couple of episodes of Black-ish after that and I was enlightened.

 

A few days ago, it was the season finale of The Blacklist. A few minutes in and actors from the show started popping up on my TV screen in quarantine mode. I was a little disoriented and then found out that the production on the last episode was abruptly interrupted by stay-at-home orders. So, the team managed to add missing footage in graphic novel style and complete the episode. The result was quite stunning. I appreciated the fact that many brilliant minds put that episode together and that they got to wrap up the season for their audience.

 

I felt like I needed to share this with Hans. I want the boys to always think of solutions to problems without focusing too much on the obstacles in the way.

 

Hans was impressed with the smooth transitions from live action footage to graphic novel style animation and vice versa. I hope he got the message I was trying to pass onto him. We have been watching a lot of shows together. I take every opportunity to pause at times and check in with him to make sure he understands what is happening on the screen. If there are subtitles, it is a wonderful chance to quiz the boy and add to his vocabulary. I want him to be an active viewer - observe the subtleties and question the atrocities!

 

It was quite nice when Hans noticed that, in an ad, they used lesbians when they talked about flirting again! Now, he actually looks for fair representation of all cultures, races and sexual orientations in anything he watches.

 

As the boy turns 12 tomorrow, I am happy to say that he is on his way. He is not perfect. He still pees with the seat down and I find myself cautiously wiping the seat each time I plunk myself on it! He plays basketball with wads of tissue, and later, I find one or two strewn behind the garbage bin! Finally, just before he goes to bed, he talks excitedly from his room while I am brushing my teeth in the washroom and I can barely hear him! (For a good reason, I never want to confuse Black-ish with Blacklist with him!)

 

All of Hans’ imperfections seem to be connected in a strange way to the washroom! I did not realize that until I listed them above. However, they are problems with solutions!

 

I just need to pause in real life and remind him to be an active lifer!

 

MD 2020

Today, I cooked for ASid and Mary. Craigley was kind enough to drive me to Mississauga to drop off the food for the kids. It was wonderful to see them both.

 

Craigley, initially, thought it was silly that I was making the effort. It is expected, in Craigley's conventional books, that the children make the effort on Mother’s Day.

 

I think Mother's Day is about making moms happy ... doesn't matter who puts in the effort.

 

Today, my friend C called to wish me. She has been the only one who has been very consistent with texting, calling and driving by to wave to Hans and me!

 

She shared about her boys, both younger than Hans, making her coffee and breakfast. She was super happy. After the call ended, Hans expressed regret for doing nothing for me!

 

I told Hans that he doesn't have to do anything special for me for Mother's Day - he makes every day of the year special by simply being himself!

 

We have been under stay-at-home orders for about 8 weeks or so, and Hans has had one small meltdown in that entire time for which he apologized almost immediately.

 

I feel lucky, as always, for the children I have. ASid is a young man now. Hans is growing up so quickly.

 

Today, I was reminded of another young man whom I saw grow up right in front of my eyes - my brother Bambino. He dropped off breakfast for me this morning. My brother is not a nurse, a doctor, or a firefighter; however, he is an essential worker who has been reporting to work every single day while I have the luxury of staying at home and feeling safe.  Bambino has also been grocery shopping for our parents and dropping by to check on them. He makes my mom very proud. He cooked and dropped off dinner for her today. I am positive, at some point in the day, he did something special for the mother of his child as well.

 

Mother's Day is all about doing what we can to make mothers feel loved. Mothers don't really require too much really. Small deeds of kindness, in whatever little packages they are wrapped in, go a long way!

 

May, the Fourth

This year, on May 4^th, Hans was disappointed that he couldn’t physically visit a LEGO store. I let him know that we could visit the online store and look at some deals and maybe even make a purchase or two. The boy was super excited.

 

While he was waiting to finish his school work before he could visit one of his most favourite websites, I was waiting to hear back from my doctor about my test results.

 

My doctor called at 7:11 pm. It wasn’t entirely good news. Hans too was experiencing technical difficulties with the LEGO store online. He was getting frustrated and worried that he would miss out on a particular deal.

 

There were three concerns identified with my health, the worst was testing positive for the Rheumatoid Factor. What it means is that I most likely have Rheumatoid Arthritis and I need to consult with a specialist. This is an autoimmune disease and I am stuck with it forever. However, it can be managed by life style changes.

 

Hans was also optimistic that he would access a deal before the end of the day. And he did! Just a little after 10:30 pm, we were able to place an order for something that could possibly arrive sometime in September. It didn’t matter. The boy was happy.

 

However, Hans’ mom went to bed wallowing in self-pity. The only person she wanted to speak with was her friend KPF. He lives each day of his life with Cystic Fibrosis. How does he do that?

 

The next day, out of the blue, KPF sent me a text message about a new drug that is allowing him to manage his cough and shortness of breath better. He was excited about this development. I was astounded by the timing of his message. The one person I needed to connect with reached out to me! And he reached out to me with positive news!

 

KPF is perhaps the best example I know of a human being. I always feel that it is so unfair that he has CF. However KPF never makes a fuss over it nor draws any attention to himself because of it! He just lives his life.

 

That’s what I need to do. Live each day without making the disease the focus of my life. There are several fires to put out. What if Hans had been unable to connect to LEGO online on an exciting day? He would have been disappointed, but would have moved on. So we can miss the deal of the day or even the deal of a lifetime. Fortunately, there is another day and life goes on.