Back in June, Craigley's mother passed away. My parents wanted to pay their respects and so, Craigley, Hans and I decided to pick them up and go in one car.
The last time I saw my mother-in-law was at my father-in-law's funeral service in December 2021. Craigley saw his mother a couple of times, in the hospital, prior to her passing away!
Craigley hadn't been on speaking terms with both his parents since 2011. Both the dearly departed also didn't attempt to make any contact with their 2 grandchildren - ASid and Hans. This is a family that takes silent treatments seriously.
Going back to June and the day at the funeral home for Craigley's mother's service ...
It was a 2-hour service, and towards the end, Craigley told me that he was going to drop off his cousin. He took off before I could say anything. My parents were a little confused and wondered when he would be back to get us home! I ended up calling Craigley on his phone and luckily, he answered. He said it would take him an hour to drop his cousin and then, he would be able to swing by for us.
All of this could seem normal to some people, but to me this sounded insane. He left his child, his wife, and his in-laws to give a ride to a man who made the conscious decision to take public transportation to the funeral home. And to put things in perspective, this is the cousin who is supposedly the most successful cousin on Craigley’s mother’s side of the family. He is 2 years older than Craigley and retired when he was 47. That was almost a dozen years ago. This man also has no child, no wife and obviously, no in-laws. He is currently walking other people’s dogs for pittance. He doesn’t need the money and he definitely didn’t need the ride from Craigley.
I called an Uber and got my parents to their home and that is where I waited for Craigley to pick up Hans and me.
My parents were baffled by this behaviour. They realized that they don’t quite know their son-in-law. A few weeks later, earlier this month, their son-in-law sent their daughter a note from his lawyer seeking immediate separation! My parents realized that they didn’t quite know anything about my marriage. The last few days have been strange and never-ending. ASid is perhaps handling it the best. Hans is a bit of a mess. He doesn’t understand how a parent would schedule a separation a few days before his child started high school. That, in itself, is a huge transition. But then, is there a good time to end a marriage?
Craigley and I have been married 22 years. It is hard to imagine not being married and to not have the life I am accustomed to living. And yet, I managed to find a place to rent for Hans and me within days of receiving the letter. I want the boy to be able to go to school with his friends even if he can’t come home to both his parents. I am trying to clean up our home so we could sell and go our separate ways. It is all happening too fast, and it is hard to breathe at times. I keep wondering if I should perhaps save my marriage. Today, ASid provided clarity. We both discovered the word “meretricious” on a show we are watching together. ASid looked at me and said that his dad is meretricious, and he wanted me to know that the separation is the best thing that could happen to me.
Meretricious, according to the online dictionary that popped up when I Googled, means someone who is “apparently attractive but having in reality no value or integrity”. I have been living with a shiny bauble. Time to move on!
