I have recently proclaimed to many that if ‘Time is Money’, it makes sense that I chose Time over Money. I guess I was trying to justify why I chose to be a stay-at-home mom for so many years.
On Saturday, I watched 5 movies, and then on Sunday, I couldn’t recall all 5 of them. I knew the 1st movie I watched. It was recommended about 25 years ago by my friend KPF and I finally found it - The Big Lebowski. Then, I watched a British production that felt like an international film. The third one was Blue Velvet which was released when I was 12 years old. The 4th was a ‘foreign’ film, and then, I ended with the musical remake of Mean Girls. I am only able to list them all because I checked History on Chrome. I have this tendency to read articles about a movie while I am watching that movie, and hence there is a trail of breadcrumbs to follow when I lose track of what I watched!
I don’t do this sort of binge-watching on a regular weekend. This was the weekend leading into March Break and I guess I went a little crazy knowing that I didn’t have to prep for this week. It also made me realize that if I didn’t have my work, then there is nothing that needs me … not that my work needs me; I am totally dispensable! What I truly realized was that ASid is 23 and hasn’t needed me for about 5 years. Hans may need me for a year and a bit, and then he is on his way as well. So, I will have a lot of time and ironically, a lot of money as well.
Would that make me happier than I am right now? Not really.
I am glad to have had the time with the boys when they needed me. And I need to stop justifying my choices to others.
