Unleashing Messy Boys on Unsuspecting Neat Girls!

I rarely complain about my boys to anyone. They are not perfect, but there isn't much to complain about. One of the few times I did, I was told that it is my fault!

It was perhaps 2 or 3 years ago, I was chatting with Hans' Art teacher. I think I was ‎trying to let her know why I hadn't invited her to my home for a cup of tea?! I told her how I have a messy home as I have 2 boys and their stuff is everywhere. To which, she did not bat an eyelid and spoke in a matter of fact tone that it was my fault that I did not teach them cleanliness!!

It was like a slap in my stay-at-home mom face. OK! Bit of a hyperbole there, but I tend to take anything related to my "momleying" very personally!‎ When I mentioned the conversation to my mom, she said in the same matter of fact tone that "truth hurts"! WOW! A second slap in my stay-at-home face! This one was more painful.

I looked at my figurative red face in a figurative mirror and realized that both the women did not say anything that is not true. I am so used to cleaning up after the boys that if I couldn't, the messiness increases exponentially!! I believe I told myself that "a messy home is a happy home" and the mantra worked for me for the most part. I only felt some feelings of embarrassment when I had adult company at my home. Otherwise, it is the most welcoming home to kids and teenagers alike.

Fast forwarding to now, I am tired of feeling embarrassed and ‎making excuses for the boys. Therefore, I got tough last week. Clean up or no more play dates!! It was/is a lot of work. I can actually see the floor in ASid's room. He appreciated the change. In fact, he exclaimed something like, "Momley, we only found dust bunnies in my room! Some of my friends actually eat and drink in their rooms! Their rooms must be even harder to clean!" Yes, that made me feel a bit better. I have a "no eat/drink in bedroom" policy. So I did something right. The fact that ASid could imagine a worse situation than he put himself in and reflect upon it is a good sign. However, it would be so much nicer if he can imagine a better situation than he was in, and strive for it…at least, he is on his way…he will get there! I have faith.

A very long time ago, my friend P and I were pregnant with our firstborns. I had a boy and she had a girl; they were 36 days apart. As a mother of a girl child, P's only concern was that the boy her daughter will eventually settle down with won't be a spoilt little brat‎! I hope not! On that note, I wouldn't want some girl in the future telling me that I have raised messy boys. Well, there is damage control underway.

I will not be guilty of unleashing messy boys on unsuspecting neat girls!