Electronic Devices and Self-control

It may seem like I am always writing about the 7 year old and perhaps forgotten about the 14 year old?! It is just that the younger one talks a lot and the older one only emerges from his self-imposed solitary confinement for breakfast, lunch, dinner and an occasional snack. So, one provides me with material I could write about whereas the other is most often reading material posted by other people on Facebook or Google chat!

This post, however, is about the elusive teen. It is about his addiction to electronic devices and an evident lack of self-control.‎ ASid can sit in front of the desktop for at least 6 hours and continuously play Minecraft online with his friends. I know this for a fact! One day, I actually let him play without any interruptions, about lunch or dinner, from his Momley, and timed him. After 6 hours, I kinda lost it and ended up interrupting and getting ASid to call it a day! Also, on occasion, Craigley has found ASid up and about way after everyone else has gone to sleep.

Our initial solution was to take away all devices and give them to ASid on a "per need" basis. He could have his phone at school; however when he is home‎, his phone is to be left on the coffee table! It was a good arrangement and a success. So, after a few weeks, we decided to let ASid have his devices back. To our dismay, he fell back into the same old pattern!

Craigley felt like ASid should lose complete access to his devices for a whole week or maybe even a month. Such a consequence would allow him to better reflect on his actions! I always feel Craigley is too harsh. And I am sure if Craigley was writing this blog, he would write that I let our kids walk all over me! Maybe I do and maybe I am more reasonable than Craigley. So, I requested Craigley if we could go back to the same arrangement as before?!

Craigley rightfully felt that by having us control the devices, we are not allowing ASid to develop self-control. So, he did a 180 and gave all devices back to ASid and let him know that we will be watching to see how he exercises his self-control. If ASid demonstrates a general lack of self-control, then he should be prepared to hand over everything to his parents!

So, how is it going? Not so bad! There are days he needs gentle reminders about the bleak future he can expect if he doesn't pay attention to how much time he is online or on his phone. It is amazing how he loses track of time. But then I remember, as a teen,  how much I could chat with my friends on the phone talking absolute nonsense and how my mom caught me reading books by the night light! Even when I knew I could be punished, I would pull out a book from under my pillow and try to read it in the middle of the night‎! Now a days, teens can even silently chat in the middle of the night without waking anyone up! 2 different time periods, but the actions are still comparable. Like one clever Canadian once said, the medium has changed but the message is the same?! Or something like that!!

I hope ASid exercises his self-control or he has to‎ face the wrath of Craigley one of these days! As much as I would like to protect ASid from such dire consequences, I sometimes feel like I should let him make his mistakes. One of these days, I will let him learn from his mistakes. Till then, I will hope and pray that he has better sense and does not make any mistakes!