2017: The Year of Learning

With just a day left, I would have to say that I have mixed feelings about 2017. This has been the year I got to make plenty of mistakes and learn from them.

The biggest mistake was not prepping Hans properly for The CW audition. I was under the mistaken impression that they were looking for kids passionate about Arts and not academic students who could be trained to perform Arts. That will always be my one big regret as a parent. I feel like I failed my child. Although the child has been through a rude awakening and a rough transition since then, he has been an amazing little boy most days. I got to learn from Hans about failing and moving on. I hope 2018 is kind to him.

ASid has made his own mistakes; however, he is a teenager. He was mostly 15 through 2017 and was 16 for only 4 months and few days. I am sure he will continue to make mistakes, but I am glad he is learning from his mistakes. For one who is still considerably young, he has a wonderful ability to reflect on his choices and their consequences. I have faith that 2018 will be a year that will see him shine. Yesterday, the boy went and got his G1. He chose to do it on the last working day of the year and ended up waiting 5 and half hours to do a 10 minute test! His timing has been off, but he is learning to be patient and following through with his plans! Good luck to the boy for 2018!

As their mother, all I can hope for is to be there for them when they fall and support them when they need to stand tall. Hopefully, the boys can also realize that mistakes are not just made by kids, but by adults as well. And it is OK to make mistakes as long as we can learn from them.

On that note, I am off to learn for real in 2018. For the first time ever, I have enrolled myself in an online course. I am excited for the New Year. For the last couple of days, I have been chatting with KPF. He got himself a Productivity Planner and hopes to spend time doing things that make him happy in 2018. I casually remarked that I need to be happy as well. And within a few minutes, I got a note about a Happiness Planner! After much thought and a bit of investigation, I have decided to go with a Productivity Planner. In fact, I actually took the time to go to Chapters and pick it up. I will be a “Productivity Partner” with my friend and we can chat about the effectiveness of our individual planners in the New Year. I think that would make me happy.

If I have learnt one thing that I want to share with the boys, it would be to do things that make them happy. Always!

Happy New Year everyone! Have a good one. Be happy!

 

The Mysterious "Russian Reader 21"

It has been 5 days since my last post, which was the 95^th for 2017. Never written so much and I thought it would be great if I could do a century! However, it doesn’t work like that. I get inspired to write by something that happens in my day; it could be something mundane or something unusual. It does not matter. I feel like writing and it naturally flows.

Yesterday, I felt like checking stats for no good reason … it was like I was compelled to by some unknown force. To my surprise, there were 21 page views from Russia! Out of curiosity, I checked for stats today as well and there were 21 page views from Russia again! It is almost like I made this weird connection with someone out there.  I am naming this someone “Russian Reader 21”. And here is a request for this mysterious person.

Dear Russian Reader 21,

Who are you?! I definitely love mysteries and I am intrigued by your strange visits to my blog that are marked with uncanny precision. Why 21?!

My brother is probably the only one who reads this blog on a regular basis and I am sure when he will read this, he will think I have lost it. (Bambino, as I like to call him once in a while, I am still sane. Not to worry!)

So, Russian Reader 21, why don’t you leave me a clue?! If you know who I am, please send me a note and I promise to take you out for lunch or dinner for making my life so exciting!! If you are truly from Russia, leave me a comment. It would be interesting to make your acquaintance.

Sincerely,

Momley

Note: Who would have thought that writing a blog about my children would take me on this clueless adventure? Not me!

Leagues of Like Minded People

Two days ago, Hans' Art teacher had an exclusive invitation for 4 of her students. These are students who completed 5 years with her and are currently in their 6th year. Hans is one of the four. Art has been his longest commitment.

Hans is the youngest of this group and the oldest is in Grade 8. There are 2 boys and 2 girls. In spite of age and gender differences, the 4 of them hung around for 2 hours without any electronic devices! They managed to talk about Art and their aspirations, sing, dance and play on the piano. When I went to pick up Hans, I got to hang out with them as well for a few minutes. It was incredible. At one point in time, there were 3 kids on the piano playing a Christmas carol from a sheet of music.

The Art teacher did not anticipate such camaraderie and was pleasantly surprised. I wasn't entirely surprised. I recently had a conversation with ASid where he remarked that the high school program he is in does not make him special in any way. What he finds special is that he has access to minds that are like his own. Minds that think alike even if they are not necessarily great!

I am glad the boys have these experiences. It is wonderful to have people understand where you are coming from without having to explain yourself. Having said that, I sure hope the boys are able to see other perspectives when people are trying to explain where they are coming from!

 

How far does the apple fall?!

There are literally 2 things I need to do to complete my life in a conventional sense - get a full time job and get a driver's licence.

Since ASid turned 16 in August, some people have casually remarked that he will get a driver's licence and a job before I do! I tend to have a positive perspective on most things and I take those comments to mean that ASid is on his way!

Craigley's biggest nightmare is that he will be driving the 3 of us for the rest of his life. So, he has been looking forward to ASid turning 16 and getting his driver's licence. Obviously, Craigley has given up hope on me ever getting there. I do not blame the poor man. I am rather slow in getting to some goals. And it appears like ASid is not in any rush to get his DL as well.

ASid is a seasoned TTC veteran at the very young age of 16. He loves that he can read a book or watch a video while someone safely takes him from point A to point B. In fact, I believe he recently wrote an entire essay about the TTC and it almost read like a love story. So proud of that boy!

And this is what Craigley has to say these days, "That boy is your son!" Yes, he is! Craigley is almost ready to give up hope on the boy as well. There are 11 days left in this year. Would the boy deliver a sweet present to his hapless dad or would he continue to torture him into the New Year?! Only time will tell.

It is interesting that ASid is waiting this long. At the age of 2, he could identify most every make and model of cars on the highways and in the parking lots. One of his first alphabet books was a custom book put together by my brother where each letter of the alphabet corresponded to a car company. So, ASid was obsessed with cars at one point in his life. And there are people wanting to buy him his first car and yet, the boy is taking his time...

...the apple sure doesn't fall too far from the tree.

But for once, I want the apple to roll far far away from the tree! But then again, it is really up to the apple!

 

Good Endings

Saturdays, I tutor a Grade 6 girl who is a student at The CW! She is, in fact, my first student. I started my one on one tutoring for children with her. Although Hans didn't get into The CW, I feel like I have a child there because of her. I am going to call her Nicey.

I mostly do writing with Nicey. Writing is challenging to teach. Most children can get into reading if it is interesting subject material for them. Writing, on the other hand, is actual "work"! Right now, I can make this entire post technical and bore the heck out of anyone who cares to read it; however, I won't.

Last school year, Nicey wrapped up Grade 5 with an A- for writing. This school year, our aim is to end with an A or A+. I believe she can do it. To that extent, the child is dedicated. Even when our one hour was up, she would continue to write. Her parents would be concerned and would compensate me with food for the extra time. It was super sweet of them. Then, they decided to actually extend the one hour to an hour and 15 minutes. Even so, their only child continues to go past her scheduled time! I am fine with Nicey taking a few extra minutes. I would never want to interrupt the creative process or end it abruptly!

Last Saturday, Nicey had to write a poem as part of her Secret Santa gift. So, we first talked about the receiver. Who was going to read this poem? What sort of a person is this person? Then, we really needed to zero in on the theme and vocabulary. Finally, we had to decide "to rhyme or not to rhyme". It was a lot of fun. Nicey wondered if she could do some origami to go with her poem?! I was like sure, let us do it since this is the last lesson. The child received that quite literally and went into a bit of panic mode. She was like this can't be my last lesson with you?! I am coming back, right?! It was the single most amazing moment in my entire career of teaching anyone. This child loves to learn and she is afraid of not having that opportunity anymore with her teacher!

When Nicey's mom came to pick her up, she wondered how I could teach poetry on such short notice?! She meant that as in I am not a real teacher. Fair enough. I do custom lessons for children and I am not in a classroom on a daily basis. However, it feels like the most natural thing to do. And I believe Nicey's mom meant it in the best way possible!

On a related note, I am volunteering in a Grade 5 classroom on Mondays. Usually, my job is to work with this one ESL child. Today, he partnered up with another student, and I felt like I had nothing to do in the classroom. So, I decided to walk around and find out if anyone else needed my assistance. It appeared like no one did. The classroom was literally buzzing and I love it when students are actually talking about the task at hand. In all that commotion, somehow I spotted this one child who was by himself. He did not have a partner and looked a little sad and confused. I approached him and wondered out loud if I could be his partner. The child literally started crying quietly. I asked him if he wanted water and rushed off to fill his empty water bottle. When he had some water, I let him know that he doesn't have to work with me. The child looked up at me and said that he wanted me to stay and partner with him. All this through big drops of tears and huge sniffles! I was almost ready to cry. However, I did not and we managed to get through the 2 pages of Math. When I went back to the teacher, he commented that I made myself useful by looking around and I found the one child who needed me the most.

And that's what I want to do with my life. Find my classroom and hopefully find those children who need me the most. At this point in time, I need them just as much! Here is hoping for a good ending...

 

Unwelcome Interruptions

Today, I had lunch plans with a friend. We both picked IKEA! Why IKEA?! We both decided that that is where we will have no interruptions while we take our sweet time eating and catching up on our lives.

This is my only friend who is from the same motherland as me. With her, I can easily converse in 2 languages and we can relate to many issues on the same wavelength as we had similar upbringing. We mostly exchange notes on our kids and inadvertently complain about the husbands. My time with her is quite therapeutic!

Today was no different. We were intensely talking about our second born children and how they seem to have less fear in them than our first born children. As if on cue, my phone rang! I saw the number and it was Hans' school calling. It was the Principal and my second born was in trouble!

Talk about the mother of all interruptions!!

One boy (who has been mentioned under 2 names here) decided to create a "Kick me" sign and stick it on the back of the supply teacher for the day. Another boy helped him; however they weren't successful and the sign started falling off. It was then that Hans lost his mind for a moment and decided to be helpful and stick the sign firmly on the teacher's back. And guess who got caught?!

The new Principal called it "a hiccup" as Hans has never been in trouble before and this was the first time. Apparently, Hans was remorseful and wrote a nice apology note. From my perspective, it was more than a hiccup! It was a poor choice Hans made and this wasn't the first time. The first call I got from a Principal was in Grade 1; quite literally 3 years ago. The very same boy started it and Hans joined in.

Hans might as well have stuck the sign on my back.

It was good that I was with a friend. I would have gone crazy if I had been by myself. At least, I got a chance to talk with her. However, I really wanted to get to school and apologize to the supply teacher. I was too late, but I did get a chance to see the Principal and read Hans' letter. The Principal was kind enough to reassure me that Hans is a good boy and that I shouldn't ruin my weekend by dwelling on this incident.

And it is a super busy weekend!

All I wanted to know from Hans was "Why?!" The sad response to that was "I don't know."

Usually, I would blame myself for being a terrible parent. Today, I had to tell myself that I do not really have any control over any part of my life. The only semblance of control lies in the choices I make. I can continue to make the right choices and hope that the boys will eventually learn to make the right choices as much as possible!

 

Leisurely Eating...

Ever since I could remember, most everyone has had issues with how slowly I eat! I believe one smart guy actually counted how many times I chewed on a morsel of food! It was too many times.

I started eating fast after ASid was born. Everything changed after he arrived. It felt like there was no time to do anything but change diapers and feed baby ASid. Sleep became more important than food. Even now, I crave sleep more than food!

Food has become a necessity rather than a luxury. However, when I do go out with my friends, I take the time to enjoy food in all its glory.

Today, I was at a morning meeting with Lady A and G. One could call us The Tragic Three. Why?! Because Lady A recruited me for the School Council and together we got G to join the School Council as well!! That does make us tragic figures some days.

Today though, we had a good meeting and then G suggested that we go out for lunch. As our food orders were brought out, G reminded me to literally focus on the food and nothing else. He meant that as in "Chop chop and speed up"! And true to that sentiment, he was done with his plate of 2 pulled chicken tacos and salad by the time I got through 1 of the 4 ravioli on my plate! Almost on cue, Lady A sped through her bowl of Mediterranean soup. And I was only half done with my lunch!

G was almost like "Ha ha! She is so predictable!" I guess I am. I could have rushed through my lunch but instead I took some time to talk about why I was taking so much time to eat my lunch! I think I made G feel terrible. The smile vanished from his face. I didn't mean to do that; however, I wanted to share that leisurely lunches are a luxury for me. Life is so rushed that it is wonderful to have those moments when time seems to stand still while I am in good company and food is a glorious accompaniment.

They do schedule an hour for lunch. Schools have lunch recess and work has lunch hours. Yet, we rush children to eat and we rush ourselves too! Breakfasts are rushed ordeals as well. In fact, mornings are the most stressful time in households with kids. And they say breakfast is the most important meal of the day!

Anyways, G was almost apologetic which was a rare and nice moment for me. Lady A was her usual understanding self. And I had the most awkward task of getting through my lunch while I had 2 sets of eyes watch my every move. Should I have stuffed the last 2 ravioli in my mouth and called it a day?! But no!! I continued to eat leisurely and enjoyed my friends' commentary on the whole bit!

Thank you Lady A and G! I had the best time.

 

Preachy Opportunities

Last Tuesday, Hope had her usual tutoring session with me.

She was like I asked my parents for an American Girl and my mom said that it is a waste of money. I told her that her mom is probably right. Then Hope was like every girl at my school has them. I was like really?! Then she looks at me and confesses that that is not a true statement. I was like do you really need this doll?! Hope was honest enough to admit that she didn't need it.

By the time Hope gets to my home on Tuesdays, she has had a whole day of school and a couple of other classes. She is literally exhausted. I feel so sorry for the kid, but her mom has Tuesdays and Thursdays off, and all her extracurricular lessons are scheduled after school on those 2 days. So, I let her have a therapeutic talk with me before we start our session. I try to make the session as exciting and interesting as possible for Hope.

Some days, Hope wants to share her knowledge with me and I let her. Last Tuesday, she wanted to teach me how to make butter. She said it takes 2 minutes. I told her that I could spare 2 minutes for her. She needed cream and sugar and 2 minutes to shake them together in an airtight container. The end result was a sickeningly sweet concoction. Hope and I discussed that we should have maybe used whipping cream instead of coffee cream. Then we would have ended up with butter like substance.

When we finished our scheduled one hour session, Hope said that she didn't know how to thank me! She said "a hundred thanks" to me. This little girl is 7 years old and wise beyond her years. I let her know that the best thanks she can give me is to indulge others with little things like our 2 minute experiment. I told her that that would make me happy. She beamed and walked out with the rest of the concoction to share with her mom.

Today, I finally put up our Christmas tree. The first gift under it is Hope’s. It is definitely not an American Girl! That would be too much and going against her mom’s wishes. All I got her were a couple of LOL dolls. Apparently, they are all the rage and come in a range of prices. It will make Hope happy and it will also be agreeable with her mom. It is my way of saying thanks to the both of them!

Today, I also had a conversation with my brother. He said that “when a student is ready, the teacher will appear”. For me, it has been the other way round. I was ready to go back to teaching and the students appeared. Each of them makes my journey magical. I am learning so much from them and I am so thankful for the teaching opportunities. As much as I believe in thanking my own children’s teachers, I am beginning to believe that teachers should take the opportunity to thank their students as well. If seen from a certain perspective, learning happens both ways!

On a related note, a few weeks ago, G remarked during a conversation that I am preachy! Feedback like that stays with me forever and haunts me. Now I worry that my blog posts are preachy. I have gone back and read a few of them, and maybe sometimes they read like some moral tales?! In my defence, all I have to say is that I am a mother and a teacher; that makes me doubly preachy!! The boys just need to use the right perspective when they read them. And they will understand my drift.

 

'Tis the season of asking!

I have always had issues with asking for anything.

The following is my mom's maternal advice to me:

If you don't ask for something, even a mom won't give it to you!

The following is Craigley's mathematical advice to me:

If you ask for something, there is a 50% chance you might get it!

It is always easier said than done.

Right now, I am in the middle of a massive asking from Hans' school community. As a Co-Chair with G, I am asking for monetary donations with a goal of raising $25K. As a partner on the Holiday Skate Team with Craigley, I am asking for charitable donations for a Special Needs school. As a Classroom Parent, I am asking for money for the teacher's gift. There seems to be no end to the asking.

But, isn't it the season of giving?! And yet, there isn't much of giving at all!!

Maybe we picked the wrong time to ask?!

The radio in Craigley's car has a station that is asking for money. The TV has commercials that are asking for money. My Inbox has email that is asking for money. It is like everywhere I turn, someone is asking for something.

It doesn't matter if it is the wrong time to ask, ask I must. It is like once one embarks on a path, there is no turning back however futile the journey maybe.

In all this asking, I have felt quite frustrated. It is almost like I am the poster child for asking at Hans' school. I am sure some of the parents probably try to avoid me even though I have never asked anyone face to face to contribute anything to the school. If anything, I take the opportunity to thank people.

Anyways, the nicest thing that happened recently was related to the $25K ask. I wanted to send a paper copy home for those parents who still like receiving paper and writing cheques. Email can be a hassle for some and online donations are looked on suspiciously still. I was told it was a waste of time and maybe even a waste of paper. But I was on the path already and I had to make sure I did everything to reach the destination even if it seems unreachable.

While I was photocopying and wondering how long it would take me to fold the paper and put it in an envelope and write something pretty on the top of it, I got help without asking. We have a temporary secretary at school. She came out of retirement just to assist our new Principal while our regular secretary was away on medical leave. Just this one fact about her is a testament to her character. She drives all the way from Bracebridge to Toronto on Monday mornings and goes back home on Friday. She doesn't have to do it, but she is doing it because someone needed her and asked her for her help.

I am so glad she decided to help out at our school. This woman is amazing. She got me the required envelopes without hassling me for how the School Council should pay for their replacement. She also told me to not be silly about writing on 190 odd envelopes. She proceeded to print out labels for me. Then, she helped me with the folding of paper and stuffing of envelopes.

I did not ask her for help. She just helped me. I am not sure if she felt sorry for me. I am not sure of any of her reasons for helping me and they don't really matter. It is how she made me feel. I felt like someone cared and the task at hand became enjoyable. Even if we get to the $25K we are asking, I will forever remember the few minutes on the way there where I got help without asking for it.

A long time ago, I read a poem titled “Someone’s mother” or something like that. In that poem the narrator helps this elderly lady and at the end, he has a hope that someone does the same for his mother. And that’s my hope as well! I want the boys to know that someone has already helped their mother and I hope they do the same for someone’s mother.

 

The sad case of bad pseudonyms!

Ever since ASid and I attended the book launch, the boys have wondered if their Momley is ever going to write about them?! Who wouldn't want someone to write about them?! As long as it is someone they trust, it is an exciting prospect.

They actually asked if I was ever going to write about them. I indicated that that's a possibility. They immediately wanted to know what I was going to call them. Without hesitation, I said ASid and Hans!

ASid was like "Why don't you just call me Acid?!" He did not like the pseudonym at all. He actually calls himself Phoenix and that's his preference.

Hans was like "What?!" And I was like "Hans is short for Han Solo! Isn't that exciting?" And Hans was like "Who wants to be a guy with a hairy chest?! Seriously?!" Hans would rather be called Ash!

Phoenix and Ash - it is almost poetic. They definitely did a better job than their Momley. However, I am sticking with what I have!

I will grudgingly admit that there is room for improvement. Who names their friends C, G, P and Y?! These are the 4 I see most frequently. I could have been more creative. The lack thereof is a testament to why my future as a writer is bleak! Oh well!

The fact that I am able to document a part of the boys' lives is enough for now. In this day and age, everyone is a writer of sorts. There are thousands of blogs. Some sprout and die within days, and some survive to tell a tale. This blog has survived quite literally because of the two best content providers ever. If the boys weren't as interesting as they are, I wouldn't be as inspired as I am. When they do get here, it is a testament to who they are!

Thank you boys and forgive me for the undesirable pseudonyms.

 

The Internship Dream

Hans loves to watch movies. He watches the action genre with Craigley and he watches the comedy, the drama and the romance genres with Momley. One of our all-time favourite movies is "The Internship". We both love Owen Wilson because he voiced Lightning McQueen in the "Cars" series. In "The Internship", we actually get to see the actor with the super familiar voice. We also love the movie because it gives us a glimpse into the world of Google. The first time we saw the movie, Hans was 7 or 8; however, he declared at the end of it that he wants to work for Google. That is one of his dreams...be an actor, be a hockey player and work for Google!

This school year, we have a parent who actually works for Google. I met his wife in the middle of September and in a conversation mentioned that Hans wants to work for Google. Within a few days, she arranged with her husband to have us visit his workplace. Today was the day. Hans' dream came true and after actually touring the Toronto facility of Google, he is more determined to work for Google. The best part of the visit was that ASid joined us too. I really enjoy when I can spend quality time with both the boys and both of them are happy to spend that time with me.

Obviously, we found out that the movie is far from reality. No 2 bumbling simpletons would get in that easily. Apparently, there could be up to 17 interviews before one is hired by Google. It could take almost 6 months! It was good for the boys to hear about how much hard work they need to put in at school and how much more outside of it. They are actually looking for "Googliness"!

ASid asked a lot of relevant questions. Hans was just happy with the free snacks on literally every floor of the building and he couldn't believe a lunch buffet is served daily for all Google employees with choices that take into consideration all sorts of restrictions. The boy probably wants to work there for all the free perks. But that's cool. Whatever motivates him!

I am just happy that the little man's dream came true. Recently, he got an almost perfect on his math test at school. He missed perfection by a mark; however he was only 1 of 6, in his class of 26, to get an A+. I really hope the boy starts to believe in himself. He definitely has the "Googliness" and all he needs, as always, are marks to back his amazing self!

An aside: OK! It is not exactly a dream come true! It is only the tip of the iceberg, but I am allowed to make a big deal out of it. There are some moments that are that special!