Making connections and making sense

On the 4th of August, 2016, Hans made up a couplet. I immediately typed it up and sent it to myself. A few days ago, I was looking through some email I sent to myself over the years and found his sweet little poem. Here it is:

Smile like the wind is blowing in your hair‎;

Because all the dirty stuff can get out of there!

I don't remember why he said those words. Maybe I was sad or maybe he was being silly...

It does not matter; a few days ago, when I read it, it made sense in a strange way.

The very next day, I also watched "Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind" for a second time. I loved it just as much as the first time.

Maybe because it is the end of another year and maybe because this year has been such a Dickensian year, Hans' couplet and Alexander Pope's quote from the movie stayed with me. I mean Hans is nowhere in the same league as the latter, but sometimes an 8 year old's ramblings are just as poignant!

2018 has been a year of wins and losses. Yes, I am somewhat employed which is better than not employed at all. But I had to give up work that I really did enjoy doing. On the same note, I gained a friend and lost a friend. I guess it is almost like a balancing act from a purely logical perspective, but from an emotional point of view, a loss is a loss and there is sorrow attached to it even if a gain is a thousandfold better.

But my memories keep them all intact and I wish I could pick and choose what I want to remember. If it was as simple as "wash that man right outa my hair" or go through a procedure to erase painful memories, I would most likely enjoy washing my hair even more or willingly go in for mind numbing surgeries!

Alas, life ain't that simple.

So, as 2018 is coming to an end, I would like to remember all the pain and the joy.

And I want 2019 to be the year when ASid gets that acceptance letter to the program of his choice at the University of his Choice. It may take him away from home, but I want him to fly and explore the world on his terms and discover new interests and make new friends. I will definitely feel some pain in the process, but ASid's joy will be worth it! Obviously, I will be overjoyed as well and the boy will be pained a bit!

Such is life and I am glad that life is complicated that way!