Mourning a machine?!

When we moved from our condo to our townhouse almost 8 years ago, the one appliance we needed to purchase was a microwave. Condos included 6 appliances and townhouses only 5!

My mom decided to give us her old microwave as a temporary solution until we bought something that we liked. With so much happening with the move, my mom wanted to help in her own way. It made sense to not have to worry about one more thing!

Like most things in my home that stay put once placed on a flat surface, the old microwave did too! The machine was older than my marriage.

A couple of years ago, the part that we push to open the microwave door fell apart. Wisdom would predict that that was a good time to purchase a replacement; but laziness or resourcefulness, depending on perspective, dictated otherwise!

I found that I could put my finger into the empty space, that was left after the particular part broke, and push this little metal “spring like something” to open the door. So, if the microwave is still functional, why make the effort to replace it?!

For a couple of years, the setup drove almost everyone crazy. The boys and I, on the other hand, got mighty comfortable with where exactly to put a finger in and what exactly to push! Craigley did not protest much and was strangely supportive!

For my birthday, 2 days ago, my brother surprised me with a new microwave. Yesterday, he came by and made the switch. He didn't trust me enough to actually make the switch. For all he knew and he knows his sister only too well, the box would have remained unopened indefinitely.

So, I have a well-reviewed and spanking new microwave sitting on my kitchen counter. It will take some time getting used to this new machine.

Perhaps my brother sensed this weird sense of loss in me, he assured me that he had to replace my microwave because his wife was afraid that one day her finger would be zapped by the unknown metal piece somewhere deep in the dark gaping space where there used to be a safe plastic “pushy thingy”! Bambino needed to deal with his wife's mortal fear and ensure future visits to my home were met with appropriate standards of safety and sanity.

I guess I took a bullet for the team, but I am allowed to mourn my machine!

 

Special Mention

As I age, I am developing this tendency to scrutinize my relationships. I may also be developing a bit of paranoia about some people in my life.

This post is not a negative one though, it is super positive. It is about someone I have known for a while, but rediscovered in the last few months. I actually mentioned this person in a couple of posts; however, this is a special mention!

I am going to name this person JeTi. We met when her daughter and Hans started in Junior Kindergarten. JeTi made her first appearance in my post about Hans’ crisis with peeing or rather not peeing at school. She made a couple of other appearances; most notably in a post about my fears about the boys and who they would be in the future. JeTi has always taken the time to send me a kind note about the boys if she ever ran into them by chance.

When I met JeTi, she was wrapping up her PhD and eventually, she got a job with SickKids and got busy. Even when she was preoccupied with her work, she encouraged me to do something for myself. With her help, I actually started some adult English conversational lessons for new immigrants in our neighbourhood. Although it didn’t last long, it gave me an opportunity to get to know some neighbours and hone my teaching skills. That experience definitely contributed to my recent procuring of my current job with the Toronto District School Board.

2 days ago, I received a Thank You note in the mail from JeTi. The note came with a beautiful bookmark. The note thanked me for my support at Hans’ school and hoped that JeTi and I could be friends even after the kids stop studying together.

If I was as thoughtful as JeTi, I would have thought of a handwritten Thank You note way before she did!  Maybe I am not; so I am writing this blog post as belated reciprocation!

 

Last school year, we ended up “working together” as classroom parents and organizing the graduation party for our children. JeTi did the bulk of the work and I was her backup. As we finished the school year, I realized that I found a kindred spirit. Of all the parents I worked with at Hans’ school, I found JeTi to be most like me. Some could label us stupid and others could elevate us to selfless beings. It doesn’t matter what people think, it is how we function regardless of all the thinking!

I am glad I was able to reconnect with JeTi. I hope we are able to be friends for a very long time. As I age, I need to surround myself with people who actually care and take the time to show they care.

Recently, the boys indulged me by watching one of my favourite movies, My Fair Lady, with me. One of the songs I quite enjoy from that movie is “Show Me”. Sure the song is about expectations in love, but why must there be fewer expectations for other relationships in life?! So, I would like to share a few lyrics here as a conclusion to this post.  

Sing me no song! Read me no rhyme!
Don't waste my time, Show me!
…
Don't wait until wrinkles and lines
Pop out all over my brow,
Show me now!

That false feeling of permanence!

At one point in time, not so long ago, most everything I did outside of my home was voluntary work or unpaid work! There is quite the list, but I will focus on one of the free services I still provide to my friends and neighbours. It is taking care of their abodes when they are away. People seem to trust me with their plants, mail, cars and houses; they hand me the keys to their most valuable assets and go away on vacations.

A few months ago, when my parents were planning their vacation, they wondered if I could take care of their home?! Since I am their daughter, the request was normal. Since I do not drive, the request was a little strange. I have actually walked from my home to my parents' home with Hans on a warm summer day and it took us 55 minutes including a pit stop at Tim Horton's. And that was one way. I could take the TTC, but that is crazy. My parents did not want to bother my brother and they ended up "outsourcing". It worked out well and left me with very little guilt to deal with.

The above anecdote just serves to show that I am NOT able to help everyone in my life. And I do deal with guilt on occasion.

So, why am I focusing on this particular free service I still provide to my friends and neighbours? I am not sure, but it certainly felt like something to ponder on!

My house is probably one of the messiest homes in my neighbourhood. By messy, I do not mean dirty; by messy, I mean that everything is everywhere - mostly mail, paper and toys. Stuff seems to make appearance and stay. As mentioned in an earlier post, no flat surface is spared! Also, I am known from a certain Craigley's perspective as “The Plant Killer". No plant's life has been spared once it made an entrance into my home! And on top of all that, I do not drive.

Given the facts just shared … I collect mail for my neighbours and sort it nicely into various categories. I water their plants diligently and their plants somehow thrive better than in their care. I take pictures of any flowers that bloom in their absence and share those pictures with them so they are happy to know their plants are alive and well. I start their cars' engines, and let them run for a few minutes; make sure they are functional upon their return!

It is amazing how I am able to do things for others that I am unable to do or refuse to do or too lazy to do for myself!

I am a disturbing and frustrating dilemma in a way and that is not exactly a romantic notion by any means. It is a bit tragic. In 4 days’ time, I will be 45. If it is true that Canadians have an average life expectancy of about 81 years; then, I am more than half way through my life. Apparently, in the "mother land", the life expectancy is about 68; that means I am at almost three quarters of my life. Whichever way I measure it, my life is definitely finite. It is time to make some changes. I need to put a little bit of effort into my life and make it as nice as I make it for others.

Perhaps the feeling of temporariness is easier to deal with than the weight of permanence?! But then life itself is temporary. Does that mean I will be wiser than ever with this newfound knowledge gained from this profound reflection?! Time will tell.