Hans loves everything about
middle school. He thinks his homeroom teacher is kind and reasonable. He
believes his new classmates are interesting. He actually has about half a dozen
friends already.
With this transition, Hans also expressed a wish to develop a good work
ethic. To that end, he has been mindful about completing his homework as soon
as he gets home. A couple of times, hockey practice delayed the completion of
that set task. However, he has been on track so far!
For a boy, who hasn’t had a
friend at school the last couple of years, this is a wonderfully friendly time in
his life. Hans has found himself in a big way in more ways than one. He has
created a unique style where he coordinates a cap, a hoodie and an accessory
for a distinct look. This has not only made him popular with his classmates,
but has also drawn some unwanted attention.
Last Friday, a Grade 8 boy
grabbed Hans’ cap and put it on his own head. That drove Hans crazy and he
proceeded to wash it immediately in the boys’ washroom. In the process, he got
his clothes wet and realized that he couldn’t satisfactorily wash his cap. He
stashed it away in a compartment in his school bag. As soon as I saw Hans, I
knew something was wrong. When I asked him how he got water all over himself
and his bag, his response was that he walked through a sprinkler system. I didn’t
want to argue with him and let it go. That night, he finally pulled out the wet
cap from his school bag and explained what happened. As usual, my first
reaction was to tell the boy how disappointed I was in him. His response was
that he didn’t tell me because he was afraid of precisely that kind of reaction
from me. I had to sit him down and explain to him that if he had told me the
truth the very first instance, I wouldn’t react the way I did!
I had to tell the boy that he
stands out with his unique style. Some will admire him and some will be jealous
of him. No matter what, he will encounter both pleasant and unpleasant people.
I let him know that the next time someone takes his stuff, wears it and gives
it back; he can bring it home and throw it in the wash. We can deal with it
together. Also, if it is the same Grade 8 boy, he should let someone in the
school office know.
I gave my son another sage
advice. I told him that he could simply blend in with the rest and not draw attention
to himself. I wasn’t sure how he would be on the Monday after a “safe” weekend
at home. Hans did dress down a bit - wore a cap and a hoodie that were “normal”
and did not include the accessory! It almost made me want to cry for him. On
Tuesday, it was the same. Yesterday, Wednesday, he went back to his style.
Hans made his choice. He was
not going to let his fear of a bully dictate how he dresses to school. Hans
will be cool in the face of adversity.
That’s what makes his world amazingly amazing!
