Cough Syrup, Pain Reliever and Condoms

Last Tuesday morning, I invited my friends Y and P for a coffee after the first drop-off of the new school year. As we were chatting, I mentioned my Shopper’s trip with ASid. They were both a little shocked that I would buy condoms for my son as part of his care package! They both felt that I maybe encouraging him to indulge in an activity that involves using those condoms!

I reflected on the conversation quite a bit for the next couple of days. Both my friends did not question the purchase of other items including cough syrup and a pain reliever. Would those purchases signify that I wish for my child to come down with a cough or experience a headache? No! All the purchases were there to help the boy protect himself in some way!

Almost all my friends I see on a frequent basis have boys who are a year younger or a year older than Hans, or the same age as Hans. Perhaps it is challenging for them to look 6 to 8 years into the future.

I wonder about the conversations they will have with their boys when they get there …

***

Today, at 2:45 am, I was awoken by the sound of our front door closing. After that initial sound, I barely heard anything. I had terrible visions in my head from watching all the episodes of Criminal Minds. I decided to put those negative thoughts aside and grabbed my phone, and went down the stairs to investigate. After all, I can always call 9-1-1.

The front door was closed, but I noticed a pair of shoes that weren’t there before. Then, I knew what happened. I went back upstairs and knocked on ASid’s door. From inside, I heard a voice tell me to go back to sleep!

I had an unexpected and a welcome visitor. I couldn’t wait for breakfast and I barely slept after that.

It was wonderful listening to my child chat about his first week on campus. He made new friends and he loves his housemates. He also casually mentioned that the girls are sexually active. He said that they have been at it almost every night. Apparently, each night has been a party night. There has been a lot of drinking and a lot of “hooking up”! He said that the code they agreed on in his temporary abode is to let the other housemates know so they can put on their headphones and ignore all other sounds.

As a parent, it is a lot of information to digest. As much as I appreciated the open and honest conversation my son shared with me, I was also concerned for his emotional as well as sexual safety and wellbeing.

Before I said goodbye to him, I let him know that it is his life and he can choose to live it in whichever way suits him and works for him. However, I had to let him know that sleeping with someone should be meaningful and NOT a random act induced by alcohol, or something to be taken lightly. I hoped that he would at least get to know the individual before he makes the choice to sleep with her or him.

My child was slightly embarrassed again, but assured me that he would not rush into anything. He shared that one of his best friends had the same advice for him before he moved into residence.

I am so glad that youngsters have these conversations. I am also relieved that ASid is not under any peer pressure to partake in anything he is not comfortable with. And I am glad I included those condoms. When he is ready, he can protect both himself and his partner!

On that note, I hope he will also be ready to do his own laundry someday soon. He did bring his dirty laundry home. However, I was happy to take a load off him!