The Massive Pickup!

This is a sequel of sorts to The Epic Drop-off! posted on September 1, 2019.

Over 2 days, on March 20^th and 21^st, we helped ASid pack and clean up, and move back home. When we moved him into his residence, we had 2 cars and we had my brother to help us. This time around, amidst the recent outbreak, we decided to move back ASid on our own. The “we” I write about are Craigley and me.

Both the days, the boy was not quite prepared. And it seemed like his belongings have doubled since we dropped him off! Craigley was visibly dismayed and vocally clear in how he felt about it. However, it was not just ASid; his roommate, who was moving out as well, had more stuff to pack. She had both her parents helping her move quietly without commenting on the situation or expressing any sort of emotion. Craigley helped move items to the car, but refused to help ASid pack or cleanup.

Craigley and I have different parenting styles. Craigley focuses on a situation and has certain expectations that may or may not have been communicated. When those expectations are not met, he is disappointed and mostly unforgiving. On the other hand, I tend to understand that situations do not necessarily follow a set pattern. Here is an example: if a person is moving out and is being picked up, s/he has to make sure s/he has everything packed and ready to go - this is the normal expectation from that person. This is fundamentally Craigley’s expectation as well. It is simple.

ASid did not meet this basic expectation.

The boy was seriously unhappy. This is his first year of university. He wanted to squeeze every delicious drop out of this experience. His life was interrupted and he had to prematurely say goodbye to his new friends and abruptly move to a new way of learning. As he was dealing with the changes around him, he was also asked to move out and given just a couple of days’ notice. On top of all that, he is also in a relationship with an international student who is stranded in Canada without her family.

ASid had a lot on his mind and failed to meet a basic expectation. He may be considered an adult just because he is 18, but this is his first time in a situation that the whole world hasn’t anticipated and still is unsure of what to expect!

When ASid eventually reads this, I want him to know that I am proud of him. He was able to move out with a few minutes to spare. ASid chose to follow his heart over a task at hand. He took the time to take some food to his girlfriend the night before and spend some time with her. He took the time to let his roommate know that he appreciated her. He may not have been ready for the pickup, but perhaps he knew that his parents would understand and pitch in. I hope we met ASid’s expectations!

 

Falling apart ... part by part

Last Thursday, there was this sudden and intense pain in my left wrist and then, in my fingers. The next morning, it was replicated in my right wrist and fingers. It was horrific. To explain the horror of it, imagine going to the toilet and having to wipe whatever; then, imagine having lost the ability to use both the hands! OK … it was just a little notch below that extreme case scenario - the hands function, but experience excruciating pain with each tear of the bathroom tissue and each wipe of the derrière!

It was a wakeup call of sorts. I am not calling it the wakeup call because I get these on an annual basis! First, it was a fleeting frightful moment about lumps in the breast. Then, it was the horrendous prospect of having all teeth fall out and now, the possibility of losing access to hands that help with everything from menial to spiritual! This was the scariest of them all though!

I love writing … anything and everything … from short text messages to elaborate email messages to therapeutic messages on this blog! Just recently, I wrote about life and death and everything in between. I realized that the pain I felt in my hands is mostly due to my love of writing. I am constantly writing/typing on my BlackBerry. Perhaps I am not holding the device properly; that’s what has led to repetitive stress on my wrists and fingers. I guess I need to find a way to not fall apart while I still enjoy the little indulgences of life.

On that note, after 15 years of watching one of my favourite shows on Television, I bid adieu to Criminal Minds. I watched this show religiously from the beginning to the end - the old fashioned way; through 15 seasons; as each episode aired and sometimes recording an episode and watching it the next day. It was bittersweet as the cliché goes! Bitter that the show ended and sweet that I found a haunting song which I have requested to be played at my memorial service! Bambino and ASid have been notified.

When I do eventually fall apart … never to be put back together again … it will be to the song “Soft Dark Nothing” by Lily Kershaw.

She coincidentally is named after my favourite flower. How poetic and perfect!