Manufactured Intelligence

I recently told ASid that I am proud of him for being an independent student and achieving his academic success on his own.

 

Obviously, as parents, Craigley and I made some choices for ASid initially. We chose early French Immersion for him before he turned 5. We also decided to transfer to a French school board for Grade 4, but we moved him back to the TDSB in Grade 5 when he made the request.

 

We never had to help him with homework or prep him for tests. All his failures and successes are his own. We also spent very little money on the boy. The most was for his piano lessons at Yamaha which were very reasonable.

 

ASid will be starting 2nd year of university next week.

 

When I look back on the last 19 years with ASid, I would have to honestly admit that the boy didn’t really need us for school work; however, he recently confided that he needed us on an emotional level and he was glad that we were there for him. By “we”, he meant his family and extended family that includes my parents and my brother.

 

Recently, 2 kids I know are being lauded for their own academic achievements - one was ranked number 1 in a nationwide Math test and the other did well on his SSAT and got accepted into a prestigious program for Grade 7. I was happy for the parents and the children. Then, I also thought about the individual journeys of the 2 kids. The first one is an only child who has had tutors for almost every subject taught at school. Instead of spending money on a private school, his parents spend money on tutors. The second one has a competitive personality. He also has tutors as well as a private school education. It would be tragic if the 2 kids didn’t do well given the advantage their parents’ involvement and wealth provides!

 

In all fairness, some kids fail even with all the support in the world. The kids that do make it with all the support in the world - do they understand and appreciate what they have?

 

Not all of us have the same advantages. I could neither imagine nor afford a private school education for ASid or Hans; however, I searched for the “best” within the public school system and moved into an affluent neighbourhood and took on a superior mortgage! ASid opted to go to a high school with an hour and a half commute, each way, from our home. The neighbourhood eventually played an insignificant role in his academic journey.

 

I guess we lucked out with ASid. I wonder how we will do with Hans?! So far, the boy has been independent with his school work. He got his first C on his last report card. Do I get him a French tutor or do I let him own his failures and successes?! Hans is heading into Grade 7 - an important year where his report card needs to be pristine if he wants to apply to the handful of specialized high school programs that are available to all students within the TDSB.

 

For now, I will leave it to the boy and wait for him to ask for help if he needs it. Of course, I will offer help as necessary.

 

A few years ago, I heard a woman exclaim how intelligent her husband was. Her mother-in-law quietly retorted that the former had no idea how much money was spent on making her husband that intelligent!