Screenamatic Memories

Hans and I are rewatching our personal favourites and going down our respective memory lanes.

It was ASid who suggested that Hans watch all 3 movies of Cars. ASid was 4-5 when the first Cars movie was released, and he was all over it! Between my mother, Bambino and us, we got ASid all the Cars toys from McDonald’s. Hans was 3 when Cars 2 was released, and he was all over it too. We went on another buying spree. We ended up with a whole bunch of Cars paraphernalia. In 2022, when we sold our home and moved, a lot of stuff was forgotten, unwanted or lost in transition.

We were trying to keep it together, whatever it was!

I ended up watching the end of Cars 2 with Hans. As the credits rolled, I saw Dan Fogelman’s name pop up. In a strange coincidence, I have been rewatching This Is Us, and bawling my eyes out.

How is it that Dan Fogelman has been responsible for some of the best cinematic/screenamatic memories my children and I have?

As nostalgia set in, Hans went to look for some Cars toys. He realized that he didn’t have any. Then, he wanted to go find out if he stored any of them at my parents’ home. We were there yesterday, and he couldn’t find them there either. When we moved, he didn’t think about saving his Cars toys. As that reality set in, the boy had this moment of despair. It was like he lost an important part of his childhood.

For a moment, I didn’t know how to console him.

I found the words eventually. I had just watched Season 2 Episode 14 of This Is Us. An entire house burns down, and the mother tells her children that it is just a house. Moments later, they lose their dad. It puts things in perspective. I told Hans that maybe we can buy some Cars stuff online. It won’t have the same significance or history, but that’s an option. It helped Hans feel a little better.

Right now, I am continuing to watch my favourite TV series of all time. The title of the episode is The Car. And once again, I was in tears at the end … and that’s when I felt like writing this post. The episode ended with the dad wanting his family to be ‘okay’. That’s the word he thinks of for how he wants his family to be, and it made so much sense. At this point in time, that’s what I want for Hans. I want him to be okay.

Forks and Napkins

For those who have watched all 3 seasons of The Bear, they would recognize the words Forks and Napkins and connect them to 2 episodes of the series. I watched ‘Forks’ with Hans, and we both enjoyed it as an episode of wonderful character development. I watched ‘Napkins’ by myself and totally related to it. There is this character who loses her job in her 40s and feels disheartened by the fact that she may no longer be relevant as people younger than her seem to be the ones who are in-charge of hiring, and she doesn’t have the necessary qualifications. It was heartbreaking, but it ends well.

I too started my career in my 40s and I too had my moments of doubt. My 1^st day of supply teaching was on January 17, 2019. It was in a DD (Development Disabilities or Developmentally Delayed) classroom. First day and I knew I found my calling. Ever since then I have wanted to be a Special Education teacher. However, even after 758 days of supply teaching, I am still “unemployed” in a manner of speaking. In 7 days, I will be 50 years old. And I know teachers who are in their 50s who are retiring soon.

I am spewing out numbers here and perhaps sounding a little bleak. That’s not the intent at all. I am more positive than I ever was in my entire existence.

I would have to work until I am 65 years old. And I am looking forward to it. That’s the connection I made to ‘Napkins’. It doesn’t matter what age you are when you find something that you enjoy doing - nothing else matters! That’s how I feel right now. I feel good.

Ash’s Acute Awareness

The other day, Craigley, Hans and I attended ASid’s convocation at UofT. ASid graduated with High Distinction. It was a wonderful day. Since Craigley and I don’t see each other daily, ‘family’ gatherings such as the one mentioned are opportunities to casually talk about the boys. 

Craigley was surprised that Hans was still dealing with the repercussions of selling our home and separating that happened on November 1, 2022. He felt that Hans should have gotten over it by now. I didn’t really want to argue, but I did remind him that Hans is a sensitive boy and he feels more than his dad does! 

Craigley has been trying to get Hans to meet his girlfriend and the boy is not ready for this meeting. I told Hans that it is okay to not like his ‘mother’s replacement’ even if she is the nicest person on the planet. To which Hans responded that his life was like a situational comedy he really liked and then, a character changed, and it wasn’t the same anymore! 

I guess he described it better than I did!

To emphasize his point, Hans shared how Craigley’s best friend’s wife would previously ask Hans about how his mother was doing; however, now she asks Craigley about how his girlfriend is doing and does not have anything to ask Hans! This is a change he has noticed, and it perhaps bothers him a bit.

I wasn’t entirely surprised at the acuity of his observations. I hope one day he is able to move forward despite the hurt.   

Note: Hans often refers to himself as Ash. So, today’s post pays homage to that moniker.