So, What is Your Excuse?

Hans and I got used to a schedule of sorts over the school year. I leave by 7 am in the morning and come back by 6 pm; in which time, Hans left for school before 9 am and got home around 4 pm. We didn’t cross paths much. I joked to family and friends that if I didn’t knock on Hans’ door at the end of the day, I wouldn’t see his face from Sunday evening to Friday evening! Such was our routine until Summer came along.

Hans enrolled in summer school for both July and August. That means he doesn’t really get a break. Some of his friends are working and the only time they get to congregate is at the end of the day; so, Hans is up quite late. The other day, I asked him if he slept well. His response was “not really”, and I shared that it was the same with me. His immediate reaction was “so, what is your excuse?”. I could have ignored it, but I proceeded to enlighten him!

In Health, in the middle grades, the curriculum covers changing bodies and that is related directly to puberty. What they fail to mention are the changes that happen again about 40 years later. At the risk of sounding cynical, that oversight could be related to the fact that the changes impact women. Since I am not cynical, it is probably a deliberate exclusion as kids can’t think beyond their present.

So, poor Hans was hit with an impromptu lesson on perimenopause and how it is affecting his Momley. To his credit, the boy quietly listened to it all. I guess he understood that I don’t sleep through the night and wake up frequently for one or more reasons. Then, I felt bad. I shouldn’t have burdened him with my problems. And then, I realized that I was overthinking, and it was alright to share that sensitive information. Hopefully, it allows Hans to become a man who will make an empathetic partner for someone in the future.

Communication is key.  It should help Hans navigate all his relationships.