I have been writing mostly about work, and it hasn't exactly been
positive. Today, I felt like writing about a work-related friendship.
When Hans was in kindergarten, I had some time on my hands, I joined school councils - 1st at ASid's school and the following year at Hans' school. Anyone reading this blog would already know that that spanned 7 years of my life and spawned some entertaining posts. What I may not have mentioned was that I also volunteered in various classrooms at Hans' school. Through that, I made some teacher friends long before I officially became a teacher. This post is about friendship with one teacher.
I am going to call him Neil.
I volunteered in Neil’s classroom when he taught a split grade 2/3. Split classes are tricky, and a teacher is always happy to have extra hands on deck. When my time in the classroom ended, the kids sang a song for me and gave me this big thank you card. Couple of years later, I volunteered in Neil’s classroom again when he had 35 grade 5s. That was a lot of students and again, my being there was appreciated. The next school year, Neil was Hans’ teacher! That same year, I got my job as a supply teacher; however, I waited for Hans to graduate before I picked up any jobs at his school. The following school year, Neil booked me each time he was absent from work. Then, COVID happened and I was jobless for a few months until I got the gig to teach online. Again, those who have been diligently reading this blog would know what a challenging time that was for me. I reached out to Neil and unfortunately, he had only taught grades 1 to 6 and couldn’t help me directly. However, he connected me with a friend who was a middle school teacher, and this friend provided some fun resources I ended up using. After that virtual school year, 3 teacher friends felt compelled to take me out for lunch and one of them was Neil. That Summer of 2021, I ended up helping Neil set up his classroom, but I didn’t see him until Summer of 2022 when I helped him set up his classroom again.
Then, the whole separation thing happened, and I was MIA from supply teaching from September to December 2022.
When I resurfaced in January 2023, the first job I picked up was half a day at Hans’ former school, and then, I ended up spending most of the rest of that school year in Neil’s classroom as a *co-teacher* due to some special circumstances. The following school year, I had 2 tough LTOs/short term assignments and Neil gave me access to his ‘Teachers Pay Teachers’ account for one of them, and it was super helpful. Summer of 2024, I helped set up Neil’s classroom and we went out for lunch. When I got my contract in October 2024, Neil was happy for me. Just before the winter break, he dropped by to see my classroom. It was way out of his way, but he insisted because he said I had always been in his classroom, and he wanted to see mine as I finally had my own! And I was delighted because I have this cool classroom, and I wanted somebody to admire it.
So, where is this little story going? If one were to go by the conversations we had over our lunches, nowhere really.
Neil has 2 lovely daughters and a gorgeous wife. They go camping over the summer break just before Neil goes back to work. 2 years in a row, right after our lunch, we went shopping for Neil’s family camping trip. It was wonderful to hang out with a friend, who happens to be a man, and who was so devoted to his family and who adored his wife. They met in college and have been together forever. Technically, Neil and I have nothing in common. Even as teachers, we are different. He can’t imagine being a Special Education teacher, and that’s all I care to be. He does not get along well with admin, and I end up with great connections despite rocky starts. Neil has 2 daughters, and I have 2 sons. It is truly strange that we have been friends for as long as we have been. We have nothing in common.
So, what is the point to this tale?
Since 2021, Neil and I only met once over each summer break where I would help him set up his classroom and we would go out for lunch. After he visited my classroom in December 2024, we went out for dinner. Then, we met for lunch over the March Break and Neil drove over one more time to take me out for dinner before the school year concluded in June 2025. I did not pay attention to the increased frequency as it was my 1st contract year, and I was busy with performance appraisals, various training sessions, and running my classroom. Once I was done, I just wanted to spend time with family and friends. I even ended up visiting with KPF whom I hadn’t seen in over 8 years. I forgot about helping Neil set up his classroom as I had my own to think about. That was when Neil reached out to me to see if I was available for lunch, and since it was the Summer of Momley, I was! I had recently returned from my trip to Ottawa, and that’s all I talked about. Neil wondered if KPF was more than a friend, and I was like “no, nothing like that”! Anyways, I found out that day, that Neil had moved out of his family home!
What?! Apparently, things had been bad for nearly 2 years. How did I miss the clues? I don’t know. But I felt bad for Neil.
Since the new school year started, Neil has been checking in on me. He didn’t have IEPs to do, but I did. He suggested we celebrate after the IEPs were done, and I am like “sure”. For the 1st time, we went out for lunch on a weekend. And for the 1st time, I had an uneasy feeling. Over the last couple of weeks, all teachers have been working on progress reports. Neil sent a note stating that we should meet up after we are done with reports, and parent-teacher interviews. That was what got me writing this post.
From Eternal Boy to Craigley, I always seem to end up with guys who need me and who pursue me. In retrospect, that hasn’t worked for me at all. (Although KPF reminded me that I got ASid and Hans from my last failed relationship!). Talking of which, I should have said that KPF was more than a friend when Neil asked me about him … it doesn’t matter now. The strange thing is that I haven’t talked about this with anyone. I have been preoccupied with paperwork and Michael. Now that those have been ‘resolved’ in some way, I must deal with this now.
Maybe I am preparing for the worst and overthinking it all. Well, we will find out … won’t we?
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