A couple of weeks ago Hans started his skating
lessons. ASid started early at the age of 3 in a parent-tot skating program. I
cannot skate and Craigley, by default, filled in for the parent! Craigley is
not exactly patient and ASid was not exactly complacent; a couple of sessions
later, ASid knew he didn't care for skating :( With Hans, I got an opportunity
to approach skating differently. I waited till he was 5 and put him in a
program where a parent is not required on the ice!
Still, there are always growing pains. The first
lesson, Hans was crying; however, every time he fell on the ice, he tried to
get up! Second lesson as well, he cried! The third lesson fell on the Halloween
Day. Hans started protesting right from home itself. When we got to the skating
rink, he refused to enter the building. He kept taking off his skates and
crying profusely. Out of frustration, I gave him a choice: if he skates, he can
go trick or treating; if not, no trick or treating! He chose not to skate. I
reiterated the options again. He chose not to skate once again. So, we packed
up and left.
After dinner, he realized the gravity of the
situation. ASid got ready to go and Hans bawled his eyes out! I did not budge.
I reminded him that he made the choice and it doesn't matter how much he cried!
I felt terrible inside, but I had to stand by my words as well!
The next morning, the first words to come out of Hans'
mouth were, "Next Thursday, I will make the right choice!” After that
declaration, he started eating his breakfast. I looked at him and was so proud;
and then felt terrible again as he asked, "Can I go trick or treating
today?" I had to tell him that Halloween happens only once a year :(
The rest of the day went into reflection and
introspection! Does a kid really need to learn skating? May be I should let it
go? Should I let a 5 year old make decisions? Who is the parent here? Was I too
rough on the little guy? But then it is so easy to quit! It is so much more
challenging to keep going...
I believe Hans reflected as well; when he got back
from school, he wanted to know why moms and dads are so mean. As much as I was
feeling badly about “being mean”, I told him that kids are mean as well!
Sometimes kids don’t listen to their parents and it makes their parents sad.
Hans seemed to have listened and understood as he didn’t make any other
statements or ask any questions!
A couple of days later, Hans needed help with
something; even though I can’t recall what it was he needed help with, I can
clearly restate part of the conversation that took place. Hans asked for help
and I said, “Anything for my superhero!” Hans immediately responded, “Actually
Momley, you are my superhero because you do so much for me!”
This was just 2 days after the Halloween incident. My
5 year old made me feel much better with his kind words. This is a child who
loves candy and he was deprived of a chance to collect a lot of candy! For one
evening, he didn’t have to choose the small bag of candy he is allowed to add
to the weekly grocery shopping list. He could keep it all! And he couldn’t! It
is great that Hans could get past that incident: Momley 1 Candy 0
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