Goodbye Chucky! Take Care!

On Monday of this week, I solemnly swore to myself that I would allow Hans to play after school pretty much every day of the week except for Tuesday (when he has Piano and Dance lessons after school). I was kind of regretting the whole idea as Monday afternoon was scorching hot; perhaps not for everyone, but definitely for me. Hans handed over his backpack to me and ran off to play. Barely 2 minutes later, Chucky walked over with his nanny, and he looked like he was ready to cry. I braced myself. Chucky complained that Hans took his sunglasses and hid them somewhere, and is refusing to return them! I lost whatever little bit of cool was left in me and screamed out loud to Hans. Hans was petrified, but managed to make his way towards me. I told him to find the sunglasses, and return them immediately! Hans was about to protest, but I wasn't in a mood to listen. It felt like the last straw. Hans and Chucky ran off to look for the sunglasses. A few minutes later, they returned without them. I assured Chucky that we would replace his sunglasses; got the details and his nanny took him away. I glared at Hans like I could make a hole in his head so it could be filled with some wisdom. I am sure at least half a dozen moms heard me tell Hans that he couldn't play after school that day and for the rest of the week. I was raving and ranting all the way from school to home. If anyone had recorded me, I would have made it to YouTube and become fodder on talk shows.‎ Sigh! When will my child learn? All Hans said, in his defence, was that he did not take the sunglasses. Apparently some other kid took them from Chucky, and asked Hans to hide them! Unacceptable; Hans made the wrong choice again.

I wasn't at school on Tuesday as Craigley does drop off and pick up on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

Wednesday morning, I saw one of the moms who witnessed my horrific meltdown from Monday and I walked‎ up to her to apologize. As I was chatting with her, another mom got curious, and we filled her in on the details. The bell rang and the kids started lining up. This other mom whispered in my ear that her daughter (who was in Hans' class) heard him say that his life was not good and he wants to die. I looked at her in shock and mumbled that he can be dramatic and is fully capable of making such statements. I also informed her that he wasn't with his friends this school year, and maybe he was expressing that! To which, she responded that there could be problems at home! At which point, she had to go, and I had to go in to see the Principal to have some cheques signed. I wasn't really in a mood to do anything; I was hit hard. Why would Hans say something that extreme and that tragic? I actually asked the Principal. She assured me that he is a happy boy, and not to worry. Still, I went and checked in with a couple of his teachers who weren't in class yet - the librarian and the Phys Ed teacher. Both of them were puzzled and said that boys at this age could make shocking statements more for effect than anything else. Still, it bothered me. Was I that tough on him on Monday that he had to declare he wanted to die?!

I talked to my friend C, and she tried to help me deal with it by saying maybe the other mom got it wrong. It was just a little girl sharing her day with her mom; details get smudged. I needed more input and constructive feedback, I called my friends Y and P, in that order. Y said something like Craigley and I are quite tough on Hans. Being my friend, she said something like Craigley is tougher for sure! P, on the other hand, brushed it off as some sort of miscommunication. So, I decided to chat directly with Hans' teacher who does spend about 5 to 6 hours a day with him. She would be my best source and resource.

So, at pick up on Wednesday, I asked Hans' teacher about his dramatic statement. She looked puzzled, but she said that she had another boy make that statement,‎ and perhaps it is being picked up by other boys in her classroom. So, I went back to the mom who shared this info with me in the first place to get more insight. Luckily, she was still around. I asked her when exactly the statement was made. She said that it was made in front of the teacher and everyone else! And I was like that can't be as I just spoke with the teacher and she is not aware of Hans ever making that statement. At this point in time, this mom looked at me like I was crazy and then she said, "It was not Hans! It was Chucky!"

I was stunned and relieved at the same time. Then, I had to rush back to the teacher to clarify things with her. Coincidentally, she was chatting with the Phys Ed teacher. I told them both that it was a crazy misunderstanding, and for some strange reason, I burst into tears. Both the teachers rushed to get me some tissues, and I had a free therapy session with them. I was like I made the choice to stay home and the least I expect is for my kids to be happy and good kids. I told them how tortured I felt the whole day from drop off to pick up. They sympathized with me; reassured me that I am a good mom and sent me off to enjoy the rest of the day.

I felt much better till I thought of Chucky. For the first time, I felt genuinely sorry for that child. He is 8 and he feels this way now. When I thought Hans felt that way, I felt personally responsible and wanted to do everything in my power to help my child not feel that way. I hope Chucky gets some help. On that note, on Monday, I did drop by Chucky's home with Hans - we got him a cool pair of sunglasses that he liked and immediately wore, and looked happy.‎ I hope Chucky gets to work out his issues.

I am saying goodbye to Chucky in this post - goodbye to the Chucky I have been writing about for the last 4 years. I hope Chucky gets a new lease on life. Hans and I will be kind to him when we can. Everyone deserves a second chance. Good luck to Junior...a name change (from my end) is the first step in this new direction. Take care boy!