Saturday, 3 March 2018

Grandiose Gestures of Romance

Lately, I have realized that most men are clueless or don't care for constructive feedback. Frankly, that is their problem. However, I have 2 boys who are going to grow up to be men. The last thing I want is for them to be clueless and have their partners complain about what a terrible job I have done as a mother!

It always comes back to the mother more than the father. Even I have a tendency to blame my mother-in-law for all of Craigley's shortcomings. However, that is being so short-sighted that it is not even punny funny!

At the beginning of our relationship, Craigley wondered what he could do to make me happy?! I told him quite honestly that he simply needs to be there for me. I have always been super low maintenance!! This was prior to us getting married. In an ironic twist, seconds into our first dance as a married couple, Craigley left me all alone in the middle of the dance floor when he got distracted by a cute toddler. For a couple of minutes, I was a little stunned and disoriented. In a rather sad second ironic twist, my song selection for our dance was Ben E. King’s "Stand By Me".

I am not rehashing that memory to make Craigley appear insensitive in any way. Craigley, for all intents and purposes, did not do that with any malicious intent or on purpose. He was simply being Craigley. And he definitely had no clue he had just married a woman with an elephant's memory!

Fast forward to a few days ago...

I had this dinner to attend. It was a dinner that recognizes parents who work on School Councils. 2 parents are invited from each School Council. For reasons that are not important to the telling of this tale, I had to make the decision to attend this dinner all by myself or not at all. It was a busy day and I almost chose to not go. However, I decided that if I can't even rely on myself, it is quite pathetic at the end of the day.

Craigley made a little fun of me as he drove me to the dinner to drop me off. In spite of taking digs at me and at a certain friend of mine, he insisted that I call him when the dinner was done. It was a 3 hour event and I let him know that I could easily take the TTC back. I had no intention of making Craigley drive all the way back for me.

The 3 hours went by rather quickly and I actually had fun with the other parents at my table. We swapped stories from each other’s’ schools and got to laugh a bit. When we were done, I gathered my stuff and made sure I had a TTC token in my hand as I got ready to leave. And I did not make that call to Craigley...

...so imagine my surprise when I saw Craigley right outside of the first set of doors and the car right across from the next set of doors. Talk about door to door service!

Grandiose gestures of romance do not involve diamonds or fancy flights of fantasy. They are usually simple gestures that show you care and you are there.

Even though I will never forget that moment where Craigley left me in the middle of a dance floor where we were being watched by a 100+ audience consisting of our families and friends, I will also never forget the most recent gesture where Craigley showed up amidst a sea of 300+ strangers.

Next month is our 18th wedding anniversary. In all the time that has gone by, I would say that we were best at producing 2 absolutely adorable baby boys who are growing up to be amazing people. But the boys have a long way to go before they can truly demonstrate how far they are willing to drive or walk for the people they care about. For now, I have general faith in their genetic predisposition. And I am sure if that doesn't come through for them in any way, I will be at the receiving end of all miserable complaints.

So, boys, please take the time to read and do not make the same historical mistakes. And while you are at it, learn from some historical grandiose gestures. Thank you. And here is another song for you: The Proclaimers’ “I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles)” that was featured in one of my all-time favourite quirky romantic dramas “Benny and Joon”.
 

No comments:

Post a Comment