I did get accepted to York
with a condition. I had to sign a waiver stating that I am responsible for my
own failure in the program since I did not adhere to the advice given by the
Academic Advisor assigned to me! I signed it with pleasure.
Since I was still "fresh
off the boat" and had been in Canada for less than a year, I was advised
to enrol in some ESL (English as Second Language) courses for my first year. I
couldn't quite fathom the logic behind it since I chose English as my major. So,
I refused to comply on principle. And I am glad I did.
I finished my 4 year Honours
program within 3 years and made it to the Dean's Honour Roll. I had the intense
urge to go visit with the Academic Advisor; however, sore winners are worse
than sore losers! So, I let that one go.
Right now, I look back on it all and consider the choices I made as
prime examples of utter recklessness and foolishness. Lucky for me that the
eggs didn't fall out of the basket and break all at once!
And right now, when I look at ASid making his choices, I have to step
back and let him do that. All my life, I was given the privilege of making my
own choices. When I made mistakes and fell flat on my face, I was not laughed
at nor rebuked. I had people pick me up and set me back on my path. I have been
fortunate to have people have faith in me. I want ASid to know that I have
faith in him.
Yesterday, ASid participated
in a French speech competition. Going into it, he was told that his topic
choice may not be good and his method of approaching the contest is not good as
well. His French teacher was the one who advised him. However, ASid disregarded
all “good” advice and stuck with his topic. Craigley was there with him at the
competition and he remarked that ASid was the only one who had a topic that was
personal. Rest everyone chose general worldly topics. At the end of the day,
ASid did not advance to the next round.
This morning, he remarked
that the whole judging process seemed like "BS and made up". I told
him, "Welcome to the real world!" He hated that and he wanted to skip
school. I told him to go face the proverbial music and face his French teacher.
I remarked to Craigley about how hard the boy was taking his failure to advance
at the competition. Craigley, who is usually the harshest critic I know,
quietly assured me that the boy gave a decent speech and also answered
questions confidently for the panel of judges. It just so happened that he
chose a very personal topic - it was
about his biracial identity and the conflict he feels within himself.
Wow! That is an intense
topic. I could understand why he was taking it so personally. But then a speech
competition can get so subjective. Sometimes the judges have their own
preferences. Supposedly, there was one male judge and four female judges. Out
of the five of them, one woman was a visible minority. Could they possibly understand him?! Was ASid able to connect with them
at all?! Who knows?! And who cares?! Really!!
People judge you even before you open your mouth. People judge you
on how you look and what you wear. People judge you on the car you drive.
People judge you for no apparent reason! When you are in front of people and
actually open your mouth and reveal yourself, the judgment continues on a
deeper level. Sometimes it works in your favour and sometimes it does not. But
you remain steadfast in who you are and do not compromise.
Apparently a parent
approached Craigley at the competition and remarked that Craigley must really
be proud of ASid! Craigley was like I
guess so!
Sometimes those remarks made
in the passing mean more than someone else's sitting across a table from you. I
am glad I chose to disregard one person's advice a long time ago. Things could
have worked out really badly for me, but I made that choice for myself. I am
not sure if ASid is glad about disregarding his French teacher's advice.
However, he does want to go back next year and participate in this competition
again. At that point in time, he will have a different French teacher who may not
even provide any advice. But ASid does not need any advice really. He has
been there and he can learn from this failure at the competition!
Because failures are the best teachers if we are willing to learn
from them!
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