Freezies and Hell freezing over!

Yes! We did it again! G and I have taken on the Fun Fair! The three exclamation marks may mislead a reader into thinking we are super excited about it; but it is more to emphasize the fact that we could be so super stupid!

And the battle has begun even before we have made an announcement to the parent community and sad to say, we are battling the same sanctimonious parent and her recently assembled posse. The battlefield has increased in size and numbers. But I feel like a winner already. Here is chapter n in the continuing saga.

The sanctimonious parent (who shall be referred to as Ms. Antimony from now as an inside joke) has already rallied for her own children's graduating class and procured an insane amount of money to throw a party for a bunch of kids who haven't yet learnt the difference between "Can I?" and "May I?" Somehow, parents in the School Council voted for granting the monies to the ever demanding Ms. Antimony perhaps because they felt the end is near and wanted to let her go quietly into that night and disappear forever?! Who knows what prompted them to vote that way; but they did. So, Ms. Antimony got a huge amount of money granted to her because really, it is her party!

So, Ms. Antimony sat on this money for almost 7 months and suddenly decided that it is not enough and she needs to do some fundraising with her spawn and her posse's spawn just as G and I are about to launch our own Fun Fair campaign. The Fun Fair is 6 weeks from now and every Friday leading up to the Fun Fair, Ms. Antimony will be selling freezies for $2 each to further fund a party for a bunch of kids!

Yesterday was the first Friday. G and I decided to be better people and NOT give out FREE freezies on Fridays as part of the Fun Fair campaign. We could totally be that petty, but kids are involved and we have always strived to be good role models for our own kids. So we decided to walk away from it all.

And yesterday, when I went for pickup, I couldn't find Hans for a while and then found him literally in the lineup for the $2 freezies. I called out his name and he came over with a big smile looking for a toonie. I declined firmly. Hans does not give up after just one try. So, he assured me that he had $2.25 in his room and he would gladly give me a toonie when we got home. I declined even more firmly this time around. Hans wanted to know why?! I am the same mom who buys popsicles for everyone on the playground; so, why not a freezie?!

I was just waiting for that question.

I explained to the boy that I do not agree in principle to the $2 freezie fundraising. If the monies raised were going to a charity like SickKids or the Food Bank, I would gladly buy freezies for not only him, but for others as well. However, the monies are going to a party that has already been extravagantly funded and is still looking to loot parents on the playground. That I cannot support!

The boy understood and did not ask for a freezie a third time. I told him that we could go to Metro and pick up a box of popsicles of his choice.

And that is exactly what we did! The boy got a lesson in Economics. He made the right choice. And I won the most important battle!

So, would I buy a freezie in the next 5 weeks?! Maybe if Hell freezes over and even if it actually does, then I definitely would not need a freezie at that point in time!!

 

Let us do it for FUN now!

Hans has been taking Art lessons since he was in JK. It was interesting how it all started.

Hans has always taken time with everything.

He took his time to say his first words and while waiting, I got very concerned. Maybe we should not have given the boy the beta BlackBerry PlayBook Craigley was testing at that time!! Maybe it delayed his speech and made him passive?!

When he started JK, a few weeks in and his teacher expressed concerns that Hans is a little behind. She wanted to bring in a resource teacher to have him tested. I was beyond concerned. I have a Special Education qualification and I know what it means to bring in a resource teacher. It turned out that Hans was OK. He just had some fine motor issues. As I walked out of that meeting and was walking back home, I just started crying out of sheer relief. It was then a car stopped right beside me. It was a parent who was soon to become Hans' Art teacher!

This parent has a child a year older than Hans and they were in the same split Kindergarten class. She wondered why I was crying so. I told her the whole story and she suggested Art as a way to work on Hans’ fine motor skills. When I asked her if she would do a session for Hans, she declined as she primarily worked with older kids and adults. Hans was 4 at that time. He was too young according to her! But a couple of days later, she changed her mind and decided to take the boy on! Hans has been with her since then.

The Art teacher and I have become friends over the last few years. It is interesting that only a few people have actually seen me cry and I cry quite a bit. My mom, who at one point in time had very little patience with my crying, remarked that I could supply water to a drought ridden town with my incessant crying. Given the frequency of it all, only a remarkable few have seen this phenomenon. Those who have are my friends or people who eventually became my friends.

Recently, the most I have cried has been related to 2 events - one of which was Hans not getting into The CW. My friend H heard me cry from half way around the world that was how bad it was!!

Given that, why would I put the boy and I through The CW experience a second time?!

Primarily because the boy was so miserable at the beginning of the school year and he wanted to audition again. So, has anything changed from last time? Yes! I do not run around with Hans and spend nearly 6 hours each week with various lessons. It has been cut down to half that amount of time. It has been more about fun. In fact, Hans has lost interest in The CW in the last few weeks. But he will be auditioning again regardless. There is no way he will get in. No one has dropped out from the current cohort and Hans has not exactly done a better job academically to be considered even if there is space available. But the boy is going back in less than 2 weeks’ time to finish a commitment he made to himself. So proud of him!

Most recently, Hans confided in me that he has 10 job options that he is considering. One of the newest options is "Professional Photobomber"!! The Future is unknown and we do not know now if that ever becomes the most sought after job?! We will find out, won't we?!

Till then, have FUN kid.

 

Reinventing Oneself

Smoggie's words written in an email a long long time ago really did take me down memory lane...

There was a time I was in love with HTML and SQL - 2 languages I could only speak with computers. I enjoyed seeing the transformation of basic text files into Web pages and loved how querying a database the right way brought up useful results.

I couldn't quite decide if I liked the front end or the back end. Then, eventually, I decided that I liked the quieter back end. When I moved to the States, I was 60% on my way to becoming a DBA. I believe Smoggie was trying to keep me on task and not forget my goals.

Shortly, after that email, I was back in Canada and back working with my best friend. Smoggie gave me back the job I quit when I moved. And then I found out that I was pregnant. Smoggie did a 180 and changed his tune to "a job is just a job" and that there are more important things in life.

He was so right. As soon as I held ASid in my arms, I knew the next 18 years were going to revolve around him. When ASid was 2, I went back to school to get my B.Ed. I wanted to have a work schedule that matched with his approaching school schedule!

I forgot all about becoming a Database Administrator!

Instead, I got qualifications to become a Teacher!

But then mostly I have been a Volunteer the last 13-14 years helping at both the boys' schools.

And I have picked up many skills. I feel like I can be anything I want to be. Even as recently as a few months ago, I was a little intimidated about venturing into the "real world" for "real work", but the fact is I have been working with people for real!

And I work really hard. I take everything I take on seriously. I make sure I come through for people and don't let them down. If by chance I do, I take personal responsibility and do not blame others!

And I have lately realized that anyone who has ever worked with me in any capacity has only benefited through the association. Obviously, the benefits have been non-monetary. The benefits have mostly been unmeasurable quantities of respect and recognition as well as undefinable feelings of a sense of accomplishment and belonging.

And not everyone value any of that! And that's OK.

I guess the lesson for the day, any day, is that everyone is dispensable. We can all be replaced in 2.2 seconds. So, how do we make ourselves temporarily indispensable in the big scheme of things?!

 

Here is my personal and sincere advice for the boys as it relates to work and workplaces:

 - Be early for anything and everything. Being on time is an expectation; exceed that by a few minutes.

- Be dependable and reliable. Be consistent.

 - Be silent and observant. Let your work speak for you!

 - Be willing to lend a helping hand regardless of who needs it. Not everyone will like you, but kill everyone with kindness; those who survive it will appreciate it!

I guess I could go on and on, but I will end with this last valuable advice (following Bambino's advice from a previous post):

 

Never be afraid to quit and reinvent yourself if you are miserable. You know yourself best. Know when to move on!

 

The World Needs You!

Here is what Smoggie wrote to me on the 5th day of my move from Canada to the States as a newly married woman:

You are far too much of a resource to society to be doing that stuff. Get out to a job you love and contribute to the world in a meaningful way. You're fantastically talented, and the world needs you. He might appreciate your help at home, but he of all people no doubt understands your value.

The email was sent to me on July 18, 2000. "that stuff" Smoggie is referring to was all the stuff I was doing in my new home for my new husband - organizing bank statements and bills, cleaning up the place and taking care of other domestic duties. Obviously the "He" Smoggie is referring to was my then new husband and now known as Craigley.

If anything stayed with me from my best friend's earnest message to me from all those years ago, it is his belief that the world needed me!

Since Smoggie cares so much about me, there is a bit of hyperbole in his message to me. I am sure The World never really needed me. So what is "the world" from a more humble perspective?! I believe, for me, it has been my boys. My world quite literally revolves around the boys and most everything associated with them - their friends, their schools and their interests. And I have been aware for a few years now that the world as I have defined it would one day not need me anymore or maybe not as much as it has needed me before!

So, I have to find new worlds that need me. And so do my boys…

Right now, ASid is applying for summer jobs. I guess what I want to share with him is that all of us need to find the worlds that need us. But we must also find some joy in that need. Hopefully, ASid can find a job that gives him more than a monetary benefit!

The best way to end this is to quote Smoggie again, "Get out to a job you love and contribute to the world in a meaningful way."

 

Noteworthy Remarks: (It is more like a "Noteworthy Rant"!)

I have always believed that I must do what I want to do without any expectation from others or without any reward at the end of it all. So, getting an award for Community Service is literally killing me. It is almost like a payment of sorts. I wanted to keep it quiet, but announcements are being made. No one is actually listening to me! I do not want the fundamental message to be that there are rewards like public recognition associated with volunteering. Volunteering in itself should be a rewarding experience.

Here is a direct quotation from Wikipedia: Volunteering is generally considered an altruistic activity where an individual or group provides services for no financial or social gain "to benefit another person, group or organization".

I feel like a fraud now!
 

Time Alone with Mundane Thoughts

The first time I remember being in a restaurant by myself was when I was almost 17. It was when my parents decided to ship me off to another state/province. 

They first did a trial run over the summer holidays. They made it sound like I was on an important mission to help them. They were building a custom home and they wanted me to take on the responsibility of overseeing it! And if I really liked this "job", I could go to school there for a year and keep an eye on the construction work. I would be doing them a huge favour. 

My parents are one of a kind!

So, for the trial run, my dad was supposed to drive me to the airport and he had some work to do en route. My dad always has work to do and he is constantly combining it with other things he has to do in his life. But he was very thoughtful. He dropped me off in one of the nicest spots in the downtown of one of the biggest cities in the world. I was in that part of downtown where there was a huge happening record store, several quaint little book stores and a sweet little Café with tables covered with chequered cloth.

I picked up some audio tapes for my brother that my dad would take back with him after the drop off. I bought some cook books with baking recipes to read on the plane. And finally, I settled myself at a table in the Café to wait for my dad. For the life of me, I do not remember what I ordered that day. 

But I felt very grownup!

Even though I was somewhat resentful of my parents then, I could still appreciate the experience I just had. Not many kids that age have such wondrous moments in their lives.

Today, I ended up in a restaurant by myself and all the above came back to me. There is something serene about eating by oneself in a restaurant. It helps if one does not care about what people may think about it. In fact, eating by oneself is not so unusual anymore. It is most common in coffee shops where people drink their cup of java or whatever and look super busy while they type away on their laptops or simply finger swipe their way through the Internet on their fancy tablets. Of course, as always, there are also people who are in company!

A lot has changed since I was 17. And yet, I was still able to appreciate the experience I just had. At 43, I felt like nothing had changed at all. My dad still schedules everything around his work. My parents still try to make me feel important in some way even if they have stopped trying to ship me off or rather "air lift" me to somewhere far away! My brother still appreciates every little gesture I make. These days I actually buy books for him! There is definitely a sense of comfort in the ordinary.

Yesterday, one of our friends turned 40 and this is the year 3 more turn 40. I will be 44 soon. And it hit me that I enjoy being "40 something". It is a different kind of being grownup. I feel like I am finally on my way. I feel great!

So, to my friends who are turning 40 this year, I want to say, "Welcome to your 40s! These are the best days of your life!"

And I look forward to my 50s. If I am on my way now, I would be so accomplished when I get there!
 

The Others

In a speech, someone sometimes goes unmentioned. It could be a singular tragic moment where a bridge is burned invariably or something salvageable depending on who the unmentioned is.

In my case, there is actually no speech that has been delivered or an opportunity to do so. However, I need to mention a couple of other people who made the award possible. These 2 are neither family nor friends.

The individual who put forward my name for the Community Service award is a Trustee. I met this person maybe 4 or 5 years ago, and continued to meet a couple of times each school year since then. Somehow this person felt that I needed recognition of sorts!

The other individual is the "new" Principal at Hans' school.

And I knew I really liked this person when I met his mother. It was what is called a Professional Development Day in November of last year the day I met his mother. (A PD Day is a day off for the students and the teachers come in to do some continuing education activities or schedule meetings with parents or have sessions to share knowledge with each other.) So this Principal invited his mother to see his new work place that "off" day. When he saw me, he asked me to step into his office and excitedly introduced his mother to me. My first reaction was so darned embarrassing...I simply burst into tears! Those were tears of pure joy and emotion. I let the Principal's mother know that it was wonderful how her son brought her to his work place and I hoped one day my sons would bring me to their respective work places as well. There was something very special about that meeting.

There are few individuals I admire and look up to and there are fewer individuals whom I consider role models for myself. These individuals are not perfect by any means. However, they embody integrity in everything they do. They literally stick to their guns and remain true to who they are no matter what is thrown at them, and they deal with everything with a certain dignity. I can't help but respect such people and I respect very few people. This "new" Principal is one of those few.

Given the above sentimental background information, I was honoured that this man was part of the process that got me an unexpected recognition.

On any given day, even on a super depressing day, I can count my blessings in the form of my family and friends, and cheer myself up. And I feel even more blessed, now that I know there are others that I can include in my count.
 

An Acceptance Speech

Here is an honest glimpse into my head:

If I have thoughts of winning any awards, they would most certainly fall into 3 categories - book awards, screenplay awards and teaching awards. That is just the alphabetical order! And the most achievable one in my head has always been a teaching award. That is the one I would like to win the most when I actually have a teaching job!

So, imagine my surprise when I received news today that I won an award for outstanding community service. What?! Apparently, it is for real. I thought I was being pranked with the month of April and Fools and what not!!

The ceremony is in about 10 days’ time. I am taking my mother as my guest. I do not write much about my mother; but as most children do, I wish for my parents to be proud of me. Hopefully, this small "accomplishment" makes them feel like they have accomplished something as well.

I am sure I will not get to make a speech when I receive the award. And that's OK because I get to write it here! Obviously, I cannot thank all the people in my life who have made me who I am. However, I can thank the people who have helped me get this award and that will be my short list.

Growing up, I did not know of "community service" - it was simply synonymous with what my parents did on a daily basis. They were both very active in bringing together family, friends and neighbours. They always helped anyone and everyone. My brother and I were lucky to have such role models and we simply started taking on responsibilities such as what they took on. My parents started me on this path and always supported all my choices regardless of how foolish others considered them. My brother was right there with them each time. My heartfelt thanks to all 3 of them!

Especially for this award, I have to thank my 2 boys. They inspire me and influence my choices in a big way. If I am as involved as I am with the community I am in, it is because of the boys. I want to be a good role model to them like my parents are for me.

For sure, I have to thank Craigley, the biggest villain in my life. When I first met him, he told me that patience is not one of his virtues. However, he is super patient with me while I go about spending my time with the community instead of on my own personal development. It must drive him crazy, but he hangs in there. Thank you Craigley!

Next, I most definitely have to thank Lady A who has shown immense faith in me from the moment I met her. She set me off on this "community service" path! Lady A, thank you for believing in me!

Then there is G who kicked it up a notch. When he came along and we started working together as volunteers, rumours sprung and things became unbearable for a while. If I had let that bring me down, I wouldn't be writing right now about an award. Instead, I made a resolution to partner up with the one person with whom I produce the best "community service". G challenges me to take on responsibilities I wouldn't necessarily consider and it helps me discover abilities I never knew I had. Thank you G.

Lastly, my friends C, P and Y, and our numerous coffee mornings! If they don't take the time out to support me or provide free therapy sessions when I am down, I wouldn't get much accomplished on any given day. And not the least, there are my 4 dear friends who I chat with in cyberspace and then, there are KPF, Sir B and Smoggie!

You are the rocks I lean on when I am tired and you let me rest. I get my energy from you all.

Thank you.

The music has been playing for a while now and I need to stop right here!