Who is a good friend?

Hans got that question from his teacher yesterday. He has a week to respond to it.

It got me thinking.

Whenever I think of the word "friend", I think of Smoggie. And for him, a friend is someone who is kind, considerate and trustworthy. Those would be the basic fundamental traits for sure, but when I recently revisited the 20 years of friendship I have with Smoggie, I discovered other essential traits!

Smoggie and I were called "The Collective" by our boss. We were like The Two Musketeers with the same motto as the original Three. We always presented a united front. We weren't always united though. Privately, we had a couple of major meltdowns. But we worked through it. I guess what mattered was that we were there for each other and could not imagine not being together! That was where respect and forgiveness became the next two necessary traits we needed to be good friends.

Smoggie is certified Mensa and I could be certified Mental (or what my brother calls Cent-i-Mental). I am not trivializing any mental illnesses here. It is just that I react very emotionally in most situations and it is disturbing for others; especially those with a logical bent! But between friends, there develops a respect for differences and different perspectives. And when there are disagreements and words are said in anger, there is no ego in seeking forgiveness.

And that is when we need that quintessential trait - communication. Most relationships fail due to a lack of communication and friendships face the same danger.

So, I guess a good friend is kind, considerate, trustworthy, respectful, forgiving and communicative. Really, the traits could be an endless list of positive adjectives. And they could apply to a good parent or a good sibling or a good teacher!

Then, who is a good friend?

I will have to read Hans' paragraph to find out. Knowing the boy, he will have a simple take on it that would also be profound at the same time.

Maybe I will share it here!

Addendum (3 days later):

Here is Hans' take - A good friend listens to you when you need to talk; a good friend cheers you up when you are down and a good friend stands up for you.

Just as I stated … simple and profound!