Virtually. Alone.

“Fake News” became very real news immediately. A little later, on Saturday, Sep 26th, I was sent an email that requested me to “please take a moment to review the many resources available”. On Sunday, Sep 27th, I received 2 emails containing identical lists of student names and related information. I find out on a weekend that I am teaching a Grade 8 class of 32 students! I have never been a classroom teacher ever before and then suddenly, I am responsible for a grade that is at the periphery of my comfort circle!

 

I was in "training" from Monday to Wednesday, which was pretty much, me taking the time to sign up for webinars intuitively without any guidance. They don't even mention the order in which to watch/participate in these webinars.

 

Wednesday, Sep 30th evening, I sent an email to the 32 students and their parents letting them know I am the teacher that has been assigned to them. One parent who has a child with Autism responded right away and sent me a 27-page IEP.  Another parent with twins, both with special needs, also responded immediately. Then, I find out I have 12 students with IEPs out of my class of 32 students!

 

The second parent with twins connected me to her children’s former teacher. When I spoke with this teacher, she was my first human contact and I bawled like a baby. She let me let it all out, a perfect stranger, and promised to support me in any way she could.

 

At this point, I must mention 2 individuals who also reached out and indicated that they were there to help - one of Hans' former teachers and my friend C’s mother. I am thankful for any bit of support.

 

I chose Thursday as Day 1. I decided to go in - ready or not. I felt so bad for these kids who were starting on Oct 1st - so late! But I felt bad for me too! I had Grade 8 and I am responsible for teaching English, Math, Science and Social Studies! The last Math course I took was in high school about 30 years ago. How am I going to do this?

 

I was prepping lesson plans and assignments on the fly! Friday, Oct 2nd, I was at my laptop for 14 straight hours - 7 am to 9 pm - and still felt clueless!! Most of yesterday, Saturday, went into looking at various Math resources and websites.

 

The parent of the child with Autism thinks I am incompetent. I reached out to talk with her Wednesday night and she used everything I shared honestly, in a letter to the principal and the superintendent and various special education personnel portraying me as some sort of helpless and useless being. Now, I have a meeting with a Spec Ed consultant tomorrow, Monday, Oct 5th.

 

I respect and admire parents who advocate on behalf of their children. However, at this point in time, I would like some understanding and some time to get to a point where I can be useful and helpful to all the students assigned to me. Throwing so many things at me all at once will only overwhelm me and make me want to quit!

 

I am struggling with everything. I have been so stressed out and wanted to give up several times and cried a few times...

 

I found out yesterday that a few teachers have resigned from Virtual School. I may be given more students to ensure they have a teacher. I will stick around because I care. I am a mother and I am a teacher. I hope that matters.

 

I hope I can write a more positive update next time.