Passing Pity Parties

Today, Hans and I had an intense conversation at dinner. He spoke about how ASid had it ‘good’ when he was in high school. ASid could invite his friends to our home and our home was big enough, at that time, so he also had some privacy. Hans didn’t think he has that privilege or that privacy. Hans and I have been living in an apartment since we sold our townhouse. Our former home had 3 levels and 3 washrooms. Now, we have 1 level and 1 washroom.

I tried to humour Hans by sharing a scene from one of my childhood movies. In that movie, there are 2 brothers who are upset with each other - one is a criminal and the other is a cop. The criminal shouts about how much wealth he has, and the cop responds calmly by stating that he has their mom! The point, obviously, is that the mom is more than all the wealth in the world. Hans wanted to know why I shared that story. I was like ‘hey, you have me’. To which he promptly responded, “Can you do my homework for me? Can you study for my math test?”.

I think Hans was being very practical. And I realized that I should let him have his pity party. I wallow in self-pity once in a while. Why shouldn’t he?

After dinner, we went grocery shopping. For a few minutes, we got busy and distracted. Later, as we walked home, Hans said that if he is unhappy about something, it doesn’t automatically translate to him being mean to me. It is not about me. It is about him. I acknowledged that he is right, and he is allowed to feel all the feelings he feels.

I think both the boy and me try to be happy all the time, for the sake of each other. Today, I realized that we need to throw some pity parties and invite each other. And as Hans said, “It is okay to be down, but not for too long!”.