The "Harvard" Child and My Child

A few years ago, I wrote about 2 parents who are Harvard grads. Today, I ran into their son. He was Hans' classmate until grade 3, and then he was identified as gifted and left the regular program. Since then, he has been attending a private school for his high school education and Hans has been at his designated public school. However, Hans and this boy have been running into each other on the TTC, for the last 3-4 years, and have reconnected.

Today was an unusual day. I got home from work and decided to go out to run some errands. Hans was home and he told me that he was going to the library to study with his friends. He left before me. I left shortly afterwards and took a bus. 2 stops later, I saw Hans get on the bus with his friend. We made eye contact, and we smiled. His friend waved at me and I waved back. And that was it … I thought.

When we got off at the station, Hans walked towards me to say bye. It was precisely at that moment, the child of the Harvard grads ran into us. Hans said hi to him and literally ran off. If Hans hadn’t acknowledged this boy, I would not have recognized him. So, I decided to acknowledge the boy as well. As I approached him, he looked confused … he looked in the direction where Hans ran off to and looked at me like “did your child just leave you with me and take off?” and I was like “we are not together … we just met on the bus!” and that made it even more confusing for the boy. Anyways, after an elaborate explanation, he got it. We spoke for a bit, and I wasn’t surprised that this child can’t decide between medicine and engineering. I wished him the best and walked towards the trains.

Once on the train, I thought about both the boys. They have come a long way since they were little boys. One of them had read The Lord of the Rings trilogy by the time he was 9, and the other had just started reading comic books around that age. One of them is confident about his prospects in the future and the other is unsure if he would even get into a university. Despite the “academic” differences, both the boys have turned out well. One of them is not embarrassed to acknowledge his mother on public transit and the other is happy to miss a bus while he chatted with his mother’s friend who is also his friend’s mother!

As a parent, there are days I feel like I haven’t done enough for the boys. I feel that more strongly in Hans’ case … but Hans keeps surprising me and reassuring me in the way he approaches life.

A few months ago, Hans and this boy met on a bus, and decided to spend an entire day together. It was ASid’s birthday and Hans was shopping for a gift and his friend decided to help him. Later, Hans shared with me that his friend talked about how his private school friends were rich (in a way that made him feel less than they were). Hans told his friend that he too was rich, and he would know that if he saw his life from Hans’ perspective.

That made me both sad and happy.

Even when I feel like I have failed Hans in some way, the boy makes me feel good about who he has become. It is like he is secretly reading this blog. He can see the positive in almost everything and he is able to put things in perspective. Even if the boy ends up with nothing in terms of material gains, he will be the richest person I would ever know.

I must be doing something right …