Seeking Custody vs Kidnapping

Hans was in Burlington, with his dad, for a weekend tournament. One of the things he mentioned, before he left, was a little ridiculous … considering he is almost 18!

Hans’ somewhat exact words: “What if I get kidnapped?”

Me: “That would have happened years ago. Your dad didn’t fight for joint custody. So, what is the point of kidnapping you now?”

Hans: “So you are saying my dad doesn’t love me?”

Me: “No. I am not saying that! Your dad loves you, but he doesn’t want the responsibility.”

Hans: “What do you mean?”

Me: “He is happy to do the fun stuff with you, but not the daily stuff. That’s a responsibility.”

Hans: “Okay.”

The boy says okay a lot. Is that good?

I have known/know parents with joint custody of their kids, and my personal and perhaps limited understanding/conclusion has been/is that parents fight for their kids because they love them or because they hate the other parent. However, those are just 2 extreme reasons, and there are several in between that I know nothing about!

And I am also realizing that I have no idea what my child has been through. Hans never shares anything that he considers can cause pain to others and he never wants to be a disappointment. I get the good stuff from him and not the bad or ugly stuff! I hope he knows he is loved. 

I would have fought for him if I had to, but his dad gave him to me without protesting. If I had to, I would have kidnapped him as well. I hope he knows that.

Talking of pain ...

I am mostly a hopeful person. I tend to focus on the positive almost 100% of the time. I also don’t complain much. Lately, when I am annoyed with stuff, I am letting that be known. This is new for me.

Last Wednesday, May 13^th, I wanted to treat all my co-workers to some coffee from Tim’s. In my quest for inclusivity, I found out that some peeps like steeped tea. So, I order both now. And I wanted this order delivered before everyone arrived. I had it timed perfectly and threw in some cookies and doughnuts. Guess what? Everything arrived except the coffee. The Uber driver was apologetic and said that he brought everything that he was given. We both called the store, and they were sure they did not miss a thing!

I was on speaker on the Uber driver’s phone and we had the receipt in front of us. We could clearly see the item, and we spoke with 2 or 3 people who all asked us for the same info and denied the existence of any coffee on our order. Finally, I asked for the manager. At this point in time, some of my co-workers started gathering around in the work room and clearly listening to the phone conversation. All of it got too much for me and I wanted it to end. I didn’t care for the missing coffee and felt bad for the delivery guy whose phone we had been using.

I said something like “I am usually a calm person, but this is making me angry. I don’t want the coffee. I just want to get off the phone and maybe order the coffee from elsewhere!” and I told the Uber guy to turn off his phone and be gone as he had a life to get back to, and I apologized for taking up his time. One of my co-workers also asked us to hang up as she decided she was going to use her period 1 prep to go to this Tim’s store and give a piece of her mind to them. So, I thanked the Uber guy and my fellow teacher and proceeded to go back to my classroom.

Barely 2 minutes later, the teacher came back to say her prep was lost, and then, I saw a call coming through. I answered and it was the Tim’s store calling to apologize and find out if someone could come and grab the coffee. They said they would throw in 6 doughnuts. I felt terrible because within the 2 minutes I had rated the order and for the first time ever in my entire life, I gave a 1-star rating. I was so mad. And this call made me want to take it back. As I was about to decline their offer, another co-worker showed up to go get the coffee and doughnuts.

I felt so fortunate to be surrounded by people who were willing to run around for me. I thanked the person on the phone, and I thanked my lovely colleague. It was almost time for my students to arrive, and I decided to get ready for them by calming down and focusing on the positive. I couldn’t change that unfortunate rating, and I shouldn’t feel guilty forever. Even as I was consoling myself, the office admin paged me to say that I had a phone call that I needed to take.

I wondered if it was a parent and why they were calling so early in the school day. Their kids were not even at school! It was the Uber guy. He didn’t know my personal number, but he was recently at my school and so called that number. He was calling to check up on me. He wanted to know if he should go to that Tim’s store and follow up for me.

What?! I couldn’t believe it. I thanked the gentleman and told him that someone was already taking care of it for me, and I appreciated his kindness. A few minutes later, the coffee and the half dozen doughnuts arrived, and all was well.

Yesterday, the teacher who couldn’t go since she lost her prep caught up with me. She said she had never seen me angry, but I had used that word, and she wanted to see what that looked like on me, and she was amused. She said that that wasn’t even her definition of anger, but it made her angry and she had really wanted to go and raise some hell. She was glad that someone went on my behalf, and it all worked out!

Each morning, I wake up with pain in my hands and feet. I can barely walk and barely get through the morning rituals. But I look forward to going to work and doing my thing. And I am glad I don’t let the pain stop me from doing what I love.

That First Car!

I do not drive. And I probably shared that here. It has been somewhat of a bane of my existence. And ASid seemed to have followed in my unfortunate footsteps and does not drive. We take the TTC, Uber or walk. We are alright with our choices or inabilities.

Hans, on the other hand, has always wanted to drive. And the poor kid was stuck with me. So, I registered him for Young Drivers and put all my faith in them. I must give some credit to the boy’s dad who stepped up and did some practice driving here and there.

It was a little heartbreaking when Hans failed his 1^st attempt at G2; but he gave it some time and passed on his 2^nd attempt. I felt like buying him a car and it seemed like an impulsive move as well as unnecessary for some of my near and dear ones. Some weren’t sure I could buy a car! Fair enough! But I did.

Today, Hans drove his first car all the way from the dealership to my parents’ home. My Dad was with him. The entire day, I was nervous as well as excited about that drive! When I saw Hans drive in, I was so proud and so relieved. He was happy to give me my first ride.

It was the best ride of my life.

A Hapag-Lloyd-y Retelling

Bambino and Sir B/UB/IB have an origin story about Hapag-Lloyd and how it entered their lexicon as a hyphenated word used to describe a state of mind. That’s their story to tell.

This is a post about my sightings of the actual Hapag-Lloyd trucks and consequent exchanges of conversational texting with IB.

Here are some snippets of those conversations.

Wednesday, April 15, 2026, on my way to work in an Uber

Me: “… I am behind a Hapag-Lloyd truck. So, had to let you know. :-) …”

IB: “… Lmao. I hope as it is typical for some Hapag-Lloyd-ing it, that they’re not holding up your progress into work! …”

Wednesday, April 22, 2026, on my way to work in another Uber

Me: “… One more Hapag-Lloyd sighting! …”

IB: “… lol. Don’t know if that’s auspicious or SUSpicious! …”

Me: “I hope it is auspicious! I have 2 job interviews today!!”

At the end of that day …

Me: “… I did 2 great interviews and this is the fastest job offer I have ever received. Hapag-Lloyd was auspicious …”

IB: “… Auspicious indeed! Well done and congrats! We should definitely celebrate!”

And so, we did celebrate on Friday. We had dinner at one of my favourite restaurants where I get treated like family. I believe IB enjoyed the food. When he dropped me off, he wanted me to take all the leftovers for Hans, and he also wanted me to say hi to my parents as I was visiting with them the next day.

This was something I have been struggling with … telling my parents about hanging out with IB!

Just like I was overthinking it with Neil, I was with IB too. However, this was more high stakes as IB is a family favourite! I did not want any expectations or any unnecessary pressure. (I am very capable of destroying relationships all by myself and I did not need the extra help!)

Anyways, yesterday, I realized that I just got to take it easy. And today, I am and writing about it.

A Week full of Winners

10 days ago, I wrote about my teacher-mentor-friend-therapist and me reflecting over some rocky career moments. I was annoyed with myself over botching up my job applications and she was saddened by being saddled with an annoying placement.

Today, I want to share that we have come far from that teary reflection. On the 22^nd, I received my job offer and on the 23^rd, she received some amazing news of her own.

February 2026 was the month where I was busy with IEPs and report cards, and parent-teacher interviews, and that month was also the month I decided to submit my resignation letter for my current job. There was a lot going on, and then, I received an email communication about nominating a colleague for excellence in teaching between February 2nd and 27th. It wasn’t simply about putting forth a name, it also involved writing about this individual and highlighting all they have done in 8 possible professional categories. I wasn’t sure if I had the time or energy, but I decided to nominate my teacher-mentor-friend-therapist (TMFT).

On the 23^rd, my TMFT got a call letting her know that she won the teaching excellence award! I was more overjoyed than I was the day before. I can get a job offer any day, but receiving an award like this is a once-in-a-lifetime achievement and honour. It also solidified my belief that good things can still happen to good people!

10 days ago, I also mentioned making a video with Hans. The boy got 95% on that assignment. He is still waiting to hear from a couple of universities; but he is already a winner in my mind.

Wanted

Many moons ago, Hans told me that men can fight over the nicest woman on the planet or something like that! Today, I felt like it was a possibility … I had 2 principals (not men, but strong and wonderful women) *fighting* over me.

Yesterday, I was surprised as I received an email from a principal wondering if I was available for an interview today. When I got home, I received a call from another principal wondering if I was available for an interview today. These were for Round 1 that I thought I messed up! I wasn’t sure what was happening. I couldn’t sleep very well. Today, I had my 1^st interview at 10:30 am and it was great. The 2^nd interview was at 3:30 pm and halfway through it, I saw a call coming through on my phone. When I was done and heard the voicemail, it was the principal from the earlier interview requesting me to call back so she could tell me about some good news in person. When I called her, I found out I got the job! I had to immediately let the other principal know so she could save time by not doing my reference checks. She wrote back almost immediately, and her last words were “Truly, we wish you well.”. 

Never have I felt so wanted. Never have I received a job offer so quickly. Today was a crazy good day.

I guess I could now say I landed where I was wanted. :-)

Reflecting on ‘Worth the Work’

Yesterday was the day I was supposed to hear back from the principals who received my job applications … and I heard nothing. It was crushing. I tried to think of what I did wrong, and then it hit me that there was this “highlights” section where I could have listed all the highlights from my 7 years of teaching experience and I chose to focus on my current assignment which is about a year and a half’s worth!

Last night, I couldn’t sleep. I felt like I let myself down.

This morning, I was back in my teacher-mentor-friend-therapist’s classroom. Before I walked in, I sent 3 messages about my failure to secure even a single interview to 3 people who are my personal cheerleaders - Richard, my favourite principal; Neil, my teacher-friend and another wonderful mom-teacher-friend. Neil responded promptly and wrote “better news in the headlines soon” and I texted back to him as I walked in.

This time around, I wasn’t the only one who was sad about something. My teacher-mentor-friend-therapist was a little sad too as she was going through some unexpected professional news of her own. I will not elaborate on her news, but I will share what I did to make her feel better … I showed her what I texted to Neil … the message was still visible on my phone screen.

I have always landed where I was needed.

And both of us started our day on a positive note.

The sleeplessness caught up with me as I left work, and I realized that I had to help Hans make a video for school. I got home and tried to clean up the kitchen and get things ready. The video is of Hans cooking a healthy meal. I ended up talking to him about my job applications and I apologized to him for not being there for him the last few days as I was preoccupied with my own stuff. He said he understood what I was going through as he is still waiting to hear from a few other universities. For a second time, it hit me that I am going through something that a child of mine is going through!

I am glad I shared my feelings with Hans. After acknowledging that he understood, he gave me a big hug. They say a mother’s job is never done. As I look at ASid and Hans, I feel like my job is mostly done. And that’s a good feeling. I will take that over any other job any day.