Wanted

Many moons ago, Hans told me that men can fight over the nicest woman on the planet or something like that! Today, I felt like it was a possibility … I had 2 principals *fighting* over me.

Yesterday, I was surprised as I received an email from a principal wondering if I was available for an interview today. When I got home, I received a call from another principal wondering if I was available for an interview today. These were for Round 1 that I thought I messed up! I wasn’t sure what was happening. I couldn’t sleep very well. Today, I had my 1^st interview at 10:30 am and it was great. The 2^nd interview was at 3:30 pm and halfway through it, I saw a call coming through on my phone. When I was done and heard the voicemail, it was the principal from the earlier interview requesting me to call back so she could tell me about some good news in person. When I called her, I found out I got the job! I had to immediately let the other principal know so she could save time by not doing my reference checks. She wrote back almost immediately, and her last words were “Truly, we wish you well.”. 

Never have I felt so wanted. Never have I received a job offer so quickly. Today was a crazy good day.

I guess I could now say I landed where I was wanted. :-)

Reflecting on ‘Worth the Work’

Yesterday was the day I was supposed to hear back from the principals who received my job applications … and I heard nothing. It was crushing. I tried to think of what I did wrong, and then it hit me that there was this “highlights” section where I could have listed all the highlights from my 7 years of teaching experience and I chose to focus on my current assignment which is about a year and a half’s worth!

Last night, I couldn’t sleep. I felt like I let myself down.

This morning, I was back in my teacher-mentor-friend-therapist’s classroom. Before I walked in, I sent 3 messages about my failure to secure even a single interview to 3 people who are my personal cheerleaders - Richard, my favourite principal; Neil, my teacher-friend and another wonderful mom-teacher-friend. Neil responded promptly and wrote “better news in the headlines soon” and I texted back to him as I walked in.

This time around, I wasn’t the only one who was sad about something. My teacher-mentor-friend-therapist was a little sad too as she was going through some unexpected professional news of her own. I will not elaborate on her news, but I will share what I did to make her feel better … I showed her what I texted to Neil … the message was still visible on my phone screen.

I have always landed where I was needed.

And both of us started our day on a positive note.

The sleeplessness caught up with me as I left work, and I realized that I had to help Hans make a video for school. I got home and tried to clean up the kitchen and get things ready. The video is of Hans cooking a healthy meal. I ended up talking to him about my job applications and I apologized to him for not being there for him the last few days as I was preoccupied with my own stuff. He said he understood what I was going through as he is still waiting to hear from a few other universities. For a second time, it hit me that I am going through something that a child of mine is going through!

I am glad I shared my feelings with Hans. After acknowledging that he understood, he gave me a big hug. They say a mother’s job is never done. As I look at ASid and Hans, I feel like my job is mostly done. And that’s a good feeling. I will take that over any other job any day.

Worth the Work

Last Sunday, I applied to 5 jobs. I had just 2 criteria - the jobs are within the realm of Special Education, and their locations are within a reasonable distance from my parents’ home. I would know next week if I even qualified for an interview. It has been super stressful.

Last night, I got a call from ASid. He was at Pearson and on his way to San Francisco for a job interview. I was more than a little surprised. ASid started a new job last Monday and 4 days later, he was flying to another country to seek another opportunity.

ASid and I are going through job transitions. Following is what I shared with Smoggie a few days ago:

It is strange to be doing the same things as my kid, and it is awesome to know he is doing better than his mother. :-)

I am not sure what it was that got ASid on that plane; however, I hope it is worth his time, money and effort. Even if it is not, I am glad he took that chance.

I know what it was that got me looking for a new job - someone made it uncomfortable in my own space. I can’t help but feel like this is so unfair! So, I have been telling myself that I have done all that I could for the kids and it is time for me to go help some other kids.

I can tell myself whatever story, but I am taking a chance as well. And I hope it all works out … for *all* the kids and me!

The House that my Dad built for my Mom

In 2015, my Dad turned 65 and decided to build a house for my Mom ... from scratch! It was the most opposite thing to downsizing! It perplexed a few people, and it vexed one!

It is cool when a man expresses his adoration for a woman with simple statements. That’s when you know he means it. I remember my Dad saying that my Mom was the cutest girl on his street … that was believable! Growing up, I never questioned his love for her. He still calls her his darling. He would do anything for her.

When we moved to Toronto in 1992, we initially met a bunch of people from the Motherland. One of them was always converting Canadian currency to the Motherland’s currency and calling himself a millionaire in that country. It made absolutely no sense. Anyways, My Mom might have said in passing that it would be nice to live in a million-dollar home.

So, my Dad decided to make it a reality. He went and bought a million-dollar house and gifted it to his beloved. In Toronto, such a house is a tiny nothingness, especially in the Yonge and Sheppard neighbourhood. The lady didn’t know what to make of it. And then, she was told that it was going to be demolished and he was going to build her a home and handed her some blueprints. She thought he had gone mental!

My Mom did not want the big house. However, she ended up spending hours and hours on this thing she didn’t know that she really wanted. And she dreaded the hours and hours of labour it would require from her to maintain it once it was completed. I think she had this love-hate feelings for it. The house was ready for move-in in February 2017. My Mom did not appreciate it until March 2020 … when the whole world seemed to shut down and people were afraid to breathe, my Mom loved all the space she had to move around and breathe without fear. Finally, she appreciated her home and genuinely thanked her husband for the gift.

We all fondly call this family home 190.

Over the last few years, a beautiful walk-out basement unit has been added and rented out a few times. My Dad followed all zoning bylaws and made sure it is a safe space. In July 2026, Hans and I are moving into this lovely abode. I was there last weekend and took a few pics. I sent the pic of the kitchen to KPF as I recently cooked with him in Ottawa. The kitchen with its nine-foot ceiling also made me think of him as he is tall and he would be able to reach anything in that kitchen while I would probably be reaching out for step stools and ladders! Anyways, before I digress, KPF wanted to know if the kitchen was renovated … for me?! I could have just said “no” and kept it simple.

… But I felt like I needed to write another post about my Dad. The last one was a long time ago. I need to write more.

When Worlds Collide …

I am back from another whirlwind trip to Ottawa, but this time around I was there for about 2 days and 2 hours. That’s double the amount of my usual time, but I was visiting with double the number of friends.

This was a bit of a stressful trip as I decided to cook for my friends, KPF and Manda, in a kitchen that was new to me. I am not going to write about how good or bad my cooking was, but I had a wonderful time with my friends. Although ASid and Hans weren’t there, Manda’s 2 boys more than made up for their absence. They joined us at the dinner table and shared their vacation stories with KPF who turns out had travelled to some of the very same countries they had been to! So, there was a lot of cool conversation around some European countries. And since I haven’t been to any of those, it was a lot of learning for me.

I wasn’t too thrilled with my eggplant and salmon dishes, but I was okay with my spinach/lentil soup. KPF saved the day by bringing 2 delicious desserts from The French Baker. He also brought some chocolates for the boys. He remembered!

KPF and Manda know about this blog and read occasionally when I send them links to posts they are featured in; however, they met for the first time ever on the 19^th and they hit it off. I was relieved. I knew I was killing 2 birds with 1 stone, but I didn’t want my friends to figuratively die from being forced to share space. Fortunately, for me, we all survived. We spent 5 hours together. I found out that KPF is an excellent sous chef. He has crazy knife skills. He was also good at flipping stuff. Manda found out her boys can sit down for a meal with a stranger and have a cordial conversation. She raised them well. The boys were also polite enough to eat the eggplant and salmon dishes without protesting. (Before I left yesterday, I made them a chicken dish to make up for dinner.)

My takeaway, again, was that I have the most amazing friends who show up for me and who are amazingly accommodating. What more do I need?

A Side Story: Part3/Continuation

I hadn’t seen Neil since December. When I communicated with him about my recent resignation, he was concerned and wanted to get together and catch up. He thought I walked out on my job. I had to clarify that I have my job until the end of this school year, but I am not going back next school year. I would eventually need to find another placement, but that’s not an immediate concern!

So, we had lunch today. As we exchanged pleasantries, I asked him about his life. He shared that he is dating and he has been very upfront about it being casual and not serious. He wondered if I was doing the same. I told him that I have been hanging out with friends both male and female but not dating in a true sense. Then, we talked about our plans for March Break. Neil is off to Montreal, and I am off to Ottawa. Neil wanted to know if I was visiting KPF. I told him that this time around I am spending time with Manda who is housesitting for her sister and KPF is dropping by for dinner on one of the 2 nights I am there.

Neil wondered why KPF and I are not together. I honestly told him that if it was 1998, maybe that would have been a possibility; however, it didn’t happen then and so, I don’t see it happening now.

What I learned recently from various conversations is that I have been in love with the idea of love. And that’s tough. Everything sounds great in my head, but it is not real. And that’s scary. To truly be in love with someone, it is important to know who I am and what I want and start living outside my head. That’s going to take time. And I am happy to wait. 

I have been fortunate to be surrounded by friends who are my age and going through their own respective transitions and finding their way around relationships. It is wonderful to know that I am not alone. At the same time, it is okay to have this alone time.

My Favourite Single Mom

Alright, I still have a little rant left in me! I just had a phone conversation with my friend Manda, and I had to remind her that she is an exceptional single mom!

Manda has 2 boys like me. They are 16 and 14. The younger one is dating. Today was his 4th date with the same girl and apparently, he was told by the girl’s friends that she was expecting a kiss. When he shared that with his mother Manda, she started overthinking it. She felt that if the boys’ dad has been around, they would know how to be affectionate with a girl!

That got me sad initially and then it got me mad!

Boys don’t need their dads to be around if they are not going to be decent dads. Manda walked out of her home, with the boys, in March/April of 2020. It has been almost 6 years, and their dad hasn’t tried to see them. Yet they are in a custody battle for the boys. It makes no sense then that Manda would say something like having their dad in their lives would make them somehow “better boys”!

That’s why we have movies. Watch ‘Roman Holiday’ and see Gregory Peck be a gentleman - watch him love a woman and let her go. Loving a woman is about letting her *be*.

Alright, I am digressing a little bit. The boy is only 14, and he will kiss the girl when he is ready. The absence of his father is not the reason. I had to remind Manda that the boys have her father! Manda’s dad took care of his mother until she passed away a few years ago; he adores his wife, and he helps Manda with the boys. If the boys need a role model, their maternal grandfather is 2 doors away!

I also needed to remind Manda that she worked 3 jobs so she could give the boys wonderful summer breaks. I have often called her “the mother of all mothers”. I have never seen a mother be so involved in her children’s lives. I told her that I had to be a stay-at-home mother to give that kind of time and attention to my children. Work would have taken me away from them. I can only do one thing well at a time. But I admire the mothers who work and take care of their kids and do it all on their own. These are exceptional women. They need to know that. 

Now, I can truly spring forward.