They made me *want* to write about them!

People have been commenting about me being an empty nester now. I get it, but I have also told almost all of them that I can never feel like an empty nester as my mind is occupied by my students most of the time. So … yes, I know I lost 2 boys in a sense; however, last month, I gained 6 of them. I am, once again, a “boy mom”!

I have 2 in grade 6 and 4 in grade 7, and they are between 10 and 13 years old. The youngest will be 11 in December and the oldest was held back a year. And I have already become very fond of them and fiercely protective as well. Since we do a lot of integration, which is spend time with students outside of our classroom, we also deal with insensitive kids who stare or snicker or pass snide remarks. Middle school has a bad rep, and it is terrible when some kids make that rep legit. Yesterday, I had to interrupt a class so I could address some of these kids and let them know that they were being very unkind and it was unnecessary.

I was in a grade 6 class, and these were 10 to 11-year-old kids. It made me sad when I realized how young and mean they were. And I was there with my youngest who involuntarily makes sounds. He can’t help it; however, the other kids could make better choices.

Today, I was in a music class with my grade 7 students. Last week was when they got to choose their instruments. We had a clarinet, a flute and 2 trumpets. None of the boys knew how to play them, and I had no clue. I felt utterly helpless and useless. And half of them wanted to leave right away. 2 of them tried earnestly. I did my best to support all of them. Today, the same half did not want to go back. I gave them no choice. If I wasn’t a teacher, I would not have wanted to go back as well.

I am home right now and tired from the day, and I wanted to spend whatever little energy I had on writing about the new kiddos in my life.

In music class, I somehow got the teacher to come over and help us. After literally a couple of minutes, he gave them an option to try drums. All 4 boys instantly dropped their instruments and rushed towards the drums on the other end of the classroom. They were delighted to finally not struggle. And I sighed in relief.

I am home right now, and although it feels a little empty, I am filled with joy.

Mr. and Mrs. Piper

It has been a short and sweet and super hectic first week of work at my new school. I am still a Spec Ed teacher in an ISP classroom, but I have older students and more integration and more interaction with other teachers.

Day before yesterday, a teacher walked in and asked me if my grade 7s will go on a field trip. I told him that I need to consult with my CYW. He looked at me seriously and told me that I am the teacher and that I need to make the decision. Fortunately, my CYW arrived and we told him that we are happy for our students to go on the trip.

Yesterday, I ran into another teacher in front of her classroom, and she wondered if our grade 7s would go on a field trip that she was organizing. I was a little confused and she clarified that there are 2 separate trips. Then, I saw her name behind her, beside her classroom. It was Mrs. Piper. So, I exclaimed loudly, “Hey! It was a Mr. Piper I spoke with yesterday!”. She revealed that that was her husband.

I had never met a husband-and-wife teacher team within one school ever!

By the end of the day yesterday, Mrs. Piper sent an email to all grade 7 teachers asking them to fill out their excursion forms. I had never filled out these forms, and I was glad when my CYW helped me out with it. This morning, Mr. Piper sent an email to all grade 7 teachers letting us know that he filled out the forms for all of us!

I was glad to run into him after work today. I thanked him and unwittingly blurted out about the differences I noticed in how the 2 field trips were being managed. He quickly jumped to his wife’s defence by saying how much she hates paperwork and how she showed him how to do the excursion forms. That made me feel like I was criticizing his wife. So, I quickly brought up the “give a man a fish or teach a man to fish” proverb, and I thanked him for my fish! It took him 2.2 seconds to realize what I said and he smiled.

Although Mrs. Piper came across as unhelpful to someone like me who is still learning, I did appreciate her approach because I got to learn how to fill out the excursion forms. However, since it has been such a busy week, I also appreciated Mr. Piper sparing me the tedious task.

The husband-and-wife teacher team are music teachers, and so I decided to name them Pipers!

The 2 Halves of a Traditional Dorm Room

Hans chose to share a room with a stranger and share washrooms with many other never-met-before people!

Both Hans and his roommate were supposed to move in at 9:30 am on August 29th. We got there at 8:30 am and were allowed to move in. Hans and I quickly unpacked his stuff; made his bed; put the “mom” suitcase in the closet; and went out for breakfast. The roommate got stuck in the line-up of cars and moved in a couple of hours later. When Hans and I got back, he was unpacking with his parents. Everything was neatly organized and the mom was on top of everything.

Hans’ roommate is an only child and it all made sense.

I couldn’t take a picture of the other half of the room. But this is how I described it to Manda, my friend, who wanted to hear all about it. I told her that Hans’ side looked so bare, like a truckers’ motel accommodations (no offense to truckers or motels), and the other half looked like a room in a 5-star hotel!

I felt a bit terrible about not putting in an effort, but that’s how Hans wanted it and that’s what he got - bare minimum!

Hans came home 2 days ago. We were with my parents, and they wanted to hear everything about his roommate and how things were in residence. I quickly recapped my brief interaction with the other boy’s parents and gushed about how their son had everything. And I did this in the language we share, which Hans can’t quite comprehend. So, it was truly hilarious when he started off by saying how his roommate asked him for a facial tissue and Hans told him to take one whenever he needed it!

The boy who seemed to have everything still had to ask for something. I felt like there was a lesson to be learnt from that!

On the Same Page!

A few days prior to the move-in date for Hans, there was an email that both he and I received about the many events happening on campus over the orientation week. I realized quickly that there were over 140 events taking place over 5 days. I decided to help the boy. So, I spent some time going through each event that was listed and eventually produced a curated list of about 14 events. I shared those in a Google doc with Hans. I believe he did not look at the list until after he moved into residence. Right after, he must have skimmed through the list and wryly commented on ‘Academic Success: Pushing Past Procrastination’. That was the last one on the list. Hans told me that he was going to skip that one!

Obviously, when I shared the list with him, I told him that they were all mere suggestions.

The night before orientation week, I received the following from Hans - “Sorry mom but I am probably going to not consider the list you made for events … I want to know every event I can possibly go to and plan from there”.

That was probably one of the longer messages I ever received from Hans. I was so happy to read it.

Somewhere prior to that, we also had another exchange where he called the CAs (Community Advisors) “floor manager people”. I wondered why he can’t use the proper terminology but was pleasantly surprised to hear that he helped the 2 CAs assigned to his floor at the first community meeting. So, I sent a Momley message to endorse that and encourage such interactions. Here is what I communicated - “Just studying and getting good grades is not enough. It is the people you connect with that may matter more. And you are already doing that. So, make the most of your time by doing things outside of the lecture halls and classrooms. Don’t kill yourself by spending too much time trying to get high grades. I am okay if you just pass your courses. You can make a difference in so many other ways.”.

Hans responded with “Mom if you know me I would never over study”!

I am glad that Hans and I are on the same page. I just wish he works a little bit on the punctuation in his text messages; however, I am content to receive responses to my ramblings.

2 Suitcases

I thought of several titles for this post and the one I chose made the most sense as I dozed off to sleep a few hours ago.

Nearly 4 years ago, when we moved, I had to take care of a lot of things. That was also when ASid decided to tell me that I better use all the Air Miles I had accumulated as they were going to expire sometime soon. Oh my goodness! ASid has this tendency to make everything seem like it is of utmost urgency. So, I decided to investigate it.

I ended up purchasing a handheld vacuum for Hans and a blender to make smoothies and finally, a set of 2 suitcases - a small carry-on and a big check-in.

Yesterday, Hans packed all his clothes in the bigger suitcase, and I realized that I hadn’t unpacked the smaller suitcase yet! And in a weirdly emotional way, I equated the suitcases to Hans and me. It felt like he was taking the “mom” suitcase and I had the “child” suitcase. Somehow, that equation comforted me.

This morning, in a few minutes, Hans and I will be leaving for McMaster in Hamilton. I am not saying I shall not cry, but I am ready to let go and let the boy fly.

Addendum:

Bambino is the best brother. He decided to come and get me from Hamilton. On our drive to Toronto, I told him how Hans couldn’t wait to give the suitcase back and how I told him to store it under the bed. As if Hans heard that conversation, I received a text message from him - The suitcase doesbt fit … I will probably brong it back. (The boy really does not want the large suitcase in his dorm room. That message with the 2 errors indicated a desperate urgency.)

So much for my “mom” suitcase equation. Well, I had a warm fuzzy feeling for at least a few hours.

We Are the Sum of Our Choices

Yesterday, I planned for 2 events - Hans’ send-off lunch and ASid’s 25^th birthday dinner. ASid was not there for Hans’ lunch and Hans was not there for ASid’s dinner.

It is happening …

Almost 4 years ago, our once family of 4 went 3 separate ways. In less than a week, Hans is moving into residence, and we will be in 4 different locations. It will never be the same again. I can plan all I want to and not get the boys to be in the same place, at the same time. And that’s okay! Life happens!

This is the perfect time to share that I recently rewatched ‘Everything Everywhere All at Once’ and it reaffirmed my belief that we are the sum of the choices we make. Each choice leads to a specific outcome. So, I hope the boys make the right choices that lead them to the right people. It is especially my fond hope for Hans who is leaving home to be on his own. 

On that note, I also want to quote from the movie; it is something a character, a daughter, tells her mother … “Small, stupid humans. It’s like our whole deal.” … that’s a profound statement on humanity. So, it is okay to make mistakes … as along as we are smart enough to learn from them!

Seychelles

Since my post about the bots on my blog, the count has surpassed 10K ‘pageviews’. I am learning the proper lingo as well. Apparently, no one is counting *visitors* anymore, they are counting pageviews by browsers, operating systems and locations. (Who are they? In my case, they happen to be Google!)

The few who know of my blog have been curious about the locations. Where are these pageviews from? It turns out that the top location is a country by the name of Seychelles. I had heard the name, and that was the extent of my knowledge. So, I decided to investigate. According to Wikipedia, Seychelles is a country in Africa with a population of 96, 762. It is a tiny nation in comparison to United States which is sitting in 2^nd place in terms of the total number of pageviews.

I don’t know what to do with all this information. So, I have decided to do something that I have never ever done on my blog - provide links to pages from an external site. I discovered visitseychelles.org and I am happy to share links to the country’s geography and history. Maybe one day, I will visit this sweet little nation that caused quite the commotion and excitement on my blog.

Thank you, Seychelles! This is for you.

Geography

History

I am endorsing you.

Addendum:

I do not understand what is happening; however, less than 24 hours later, United States is currently sitting in 1^st place and Seychelles has been dethroned. The number of pageviews for each country seem to have been “fixed” to reflect this new order! Wow!!

And I feel like I should stop paying this much attention to the bots. I do have better things to do. Having said that, this has been fascinating.