Relationships

Yesterday morning, ASid expressed his frustration with a friend of his who said that she would salvage a marriage however bad it is but walk away from a friendship when it turns sour!

I let ASid know that marriages have religious and/or legal implications that friendships don't have! I really wanted him to respect this girl's opinion. And I also reminded him that all of his friends and classmates are currently only dealing with friendships and have no experience with marriages!

I believe since they are in Grade 12 and in the process of applying to universities and making plans to maybe move away from home and perhaps share a room with a friend, they are discussing friendships moving forward to the next level.

Technically, both friendships and marriages are relationships. Right now, for ASid and his friends, friendships are everything. So, from his perspective, anyone walking away from a friendship without trying to save it is a sacrilege of sorts!

I guess this girl also brought up children and how a marriage needs to be saved for the sake of children if they are involved! I agreed to an extent; however, I told ASid that, for the sake of the very same children, sometimes it is best to walk away from a marriage.

I believe we should be able to walk away from any relationship, including a friendship and a marriage, if it becomes abusive on any level. There is no good reason to put up with abuse. Children need to see symbiotic relationships and learn from them.

I had to let ASid know that his friends and he do not necessarily have an understanding of what it means to be in a committed relationship and have children. Parents can go to great lengths to protect their children - whether it requires staying in a marriage or walking away from it!

ASid considers his friendships a commitment and to that extent, he is willing to fight for them. But then, I advised him to walk away from any of his friendships if they become a source of conflict or pain.

We can all be idealistic and make grandiose statements at a certain age; but then life gets in the way! Then, we learn, we make tough decisions and we move on.

 

Noteworthy Remarks: Long time ago, I battled it out for the one whom I thought was the love of my life! Won the battle, but lost the war. Then, years later, I battled it out for the love of my children. Lost some battles, but won the war.

If a relationship means something, anything and it is inherently based on goodness, fight for it. But also know when to walk away from it!