Real Communication

Since my online course started 3 weeks and a couple of days ago, my struggle has been to stay focused and get assignments completed. I easily get distracted by School Council email or friendly invitations to coffee after drop off. Then there are days there are absolutely no distractions; just things that need to get done like cooking, dishes and laundry. There are also days I am just bored out of my mind with the material I have to read for an assignment. All in all, not much to complain about!

Today has been a balanced day. I got some reading done and an assignment out of the way. I also helped a person feel good as well as rescued my friend C from another existential crisis.

I am not sure if I ever mentioned here that I have been volunteering at a special needs school once a week since September?! Maybe not!! And I am. When I think of the kind of teacher I want to be, it would most definitely be where I can make the most difference. Working with special needs children requires a lot of patience and a good set of communication skills. I think I have a bit of both and that’s a good start. I also realized that real communication really involves listening more than talking. So while I am at the school, once a week, I listen to everything extra carefully. Last November, I heard in the morning announcements that the school was in “desperate need of plastic bags”. I was like why?! It led me off on an investigation and that led me to starting a donation campaign at Hans’ school and eventually dropping off all the donated items at the special needs school. Today, one of the staff members from that school dropped off breakfast for all of the staff at Hans’ school as a thank you! This woman will be retiring in November and she let me know that in her entire career at the special needs school, no one had shown such generosity as did the community at Hans’ school. It was a wonderful feeling to know that this woman got to experience something that moved her before she retired.

If I hadn’t been listening to those morning announcements in November, she wouldn’t have had her moment today.

Even as I was making a mental note to let the boys know that they must cultivate their listening skills, I got a text from my friend C. When I read it, I knew that I must be on standby just in case she needs my ears for a therapeutic chat. While I waited for her to call me, I got an assignment out of the way. It was the one I was putting off for the last 2 or 3 days. Felt good and then the call came through. Time to make my friend feel good as well! We each got a McDonald’s meal, ate every French Fry, felt disgusted and felt happy. Crisis dealt with and my friend’s world is back to normal.

Listening is really important. I think I am a good listener, however when I hear something that needs to be done, I am off and running with it. It has gotten me into trouble with friends when they were simply sharing something and I felt the need to do something about it without their permission. Sometimes it is good to just listen and do nothing!

The gist of the post is that listening is really what constitutes most of purposeful communication. It is also good to ask relevant questions while listening. I am still learning about communication and still making mistakes at 40+. And that’s OK. Hopefully, the boys learn from my mistakes and get to that place where communication becomes a fine art form for them.

Eventually, it is those who listen and have the relevant information that will do well in life!