Yesterday, Hans went to a University Fair. He came back informed and excited. He shared that he has his top 5 choices; however, he may not get into any of them. I reminded him that September is not yet done, and he is already giving up hope. I told him, like I told his brother, that Grade 12 is temporary and he only has to work hard for a few weeks.
In response, Hans told me that he could always mention, on his applications, about his single mom and her rheumatoid arthritis. What the heck?! First, I was indignant that he got my diagnosis wrong - it is 'Palindromic Rheumatism'!! And next, I am not the stereotypical 'Single Mom'. I am not struggling in any dire way, and I am not dependent on anyone. Even if I were to lose my job, my parents will welcome me into their abode ... they have been waiting for the past 3 years to do so!
I let Hans know that his mother is not exactly poor. She just made choices that have *enriched* her in other ways. No one should measure one's worth by how much money they make. That is sad and disappointing ... especially when it comes from my child.
To his credit, Hans didn't argue and looked quite sheepish. It was easy to forgive him ... and write about it here!
This took me back to a post from 2014, ‘What’s one’s worth?’, where ASid felt insecure, and today, that boy is a young man who is super confident and doing well. And now his baby brother has so much self-doubt that he mistakenly thinks that he needs to be pitied to get any consideration! I need to talk more to the boy.
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