I Exist to Support You

We brought ASid home on March 21st. I was happy to have all 4 of us back under the same roof again. I will not say "happy to be together again"! We weren't together really - ASid was on the top floor doing his online learning; Hans was on the main floor trying to do some learning and Craigley was in the basement working from home. I had no floor to my name and I was essentially a floater!

Still, I was content to see their faces whenever they surfaced for biological or survival needs.

Last week, ASid announced that he would like to spend time with his girlfriend once his online lessons wrap up! I wasn't sure what he meant by that! Well, he clarified that he wanted to spend the remaining amount of "stay at home/isolation time" with her.

My first response was an emotional breakdown! I felt like I didn't matter. All that time I spent raising the boy meant nothing to him! I cried a bit and couldn't sleep for a couple of nights. Then, I had to look at it from ASid's perspective. He is 18 and in love. His girlfriend is an international student who is by herself in the middle of an unexpected situation. It made sense for him to be there for the girl (whom I am going to call Mary from now on).

I met Mary only twice. My impression of her is that she is a mature and focused young lady. Her family is in another country and she is here by herself (save for an uncle and a cousin who don't live with her). Given that she has been in Canada only about 7-8 months, she has adjusted very well. Mary is both academic and social, and balanced!

I am sane enough to know that she is a wonderful influence on my son.

So, Craigley dropped off ASid at Mary’s place yesterday. The only advice Craigley ever gave ASid that matters in the big scheme of things is this: “Do not get a girl pregnant”. That was it - 6 words of wisdom! I did not provide any advice, but bought the boy a pack of condoms the last time he left home. One could say that I enabled him in one way so he was disabled in another way that would practically support Craigley’s advice. I do not want to think about it really. But if there is a baby at the end of it all, I would like to conclude that it was Immaculate Conception. That’s why the name Mary brings me comfort on many levels!

Seriously though … I have to believe that when “stay at home” was not trending and I stayed at home, I did a decent job of parenting ASid. He is currently working on maintaining a 3.7-3.8 GPA and he seems to have caught the fancy of an intelligent girl. I am proud of the young man he has become. I must focus on that right now.