My loyal readers, who are down to one or maybe none, may remember that I try to write something humorous for my friend KPF for his birthdays. This year, I decided to give him a break. I mean, it is not much of a gift to compel him to read a post written by a very unfunny me! So, this is just a coincidence that I am writing what I think is comical just 10 days before the special day.
I have been back at work, for the first week of back-to-school, for exactly 3 days now.
The 1st day I walked in determined to be the best teacher ever for my students as well as for my new CYW. So, I decided to go outside for bussing along with Michael (I am calling him that after our favourite actor to play Batman). That way, we can both welcome our students, and I could introduce him to them. Michael was struggling with the vest we must wear when on duty. It is the worst piece of equipment - it is 3 pieces of clothing attached together flimsily with Velcro. I instinctively reached out and started fixing it for him. It took me maybe 2-3 seconds to realize what I was doing. I immediately stepped back and said, “I am always in mom mode. I am so sorry. Please let me know if I ever invade your personal space like that again!”. That was not cool; but Michael was! After that, we got busy with helping the students in and getting them back to routine. It felt like the day was never going to end. I have a new prep teacher, and I had to also help her get to know our students. On top of that, our principal wanted the kids to play on the big playground with everyone else, and they had never done that before! There is no way to explain the fear I felt. One of our kids decided to run past all access points and people who know me know that I never run, and I ran after this 7-year-old like my life depended on it and caught him just as he went past the school building towards the street! When I got home that day, I crashed on the couch and willed myself to not sleep at 6 pm.
The 2nd day was a bit of chaos. For whatever reason, TDSB decided to close some of the classrooms in the school building. So, instead of the kids going to another classroom for Music, the prep teacher is now supposed to deliver her lesson in my classroom. I am not particular about my "free time", and I am happy to help as my kids are in an Intensive Support Program (ISP) and transitions can be tough on them. It just so happened that Michael was on call with IT Services, and all the students decided to scream together. I decided to take the loudest one out for a walk. I was back in 5 minutes and found out that one of the students tried to drown out another’s screaming by placing a beanbag on the latter’s face. Luckily, Micheal got there on time and avoided further trauma. When stuff like that happens, we must write incident reports and call parents, and it just extends the school day by several more minutes. At the end of the day, I got my first bit of constructive feedback from Michael. In my report to parent 1, I wrote that Michael “managed to move student 1 away from student 2”. Michael felt like that came across as ‘he physically moved the student’ and that could be perceived as an extreme measure by some parents. He requested that, in the future, I write “student 1 was verbally redirected from student 2”. That made me feel terrible as I pride myself on writing the most descriptive communication to parents that captures their children’s school day vividly and accurately. I got home totally wiped and felt better when Hans shared these words, “Who your parents are makes a huge difference to how your life will be.” … something close to that! I took that as a compliment and stayed up to watch some random YouTube videos with him.
Today, the 3rd day, I walked in to work and told the other ISP teacher that the last 2 days have felt like 20 days! This teacher is 10 years my junior in terms of our age and 10 years my senior in terms of our work experience as TDSB teachers. We are respectful of each other’s age and experience, and we get along nicely. We both commented on the rainy weather and how that will affect our students. We also wondered how long the staff meeting after school was going to last! The ISP program was on the agenda, at the very end, and I wanted her to give the update. She was fine with that. Then, we got busy. I ended up being part of a very imaginative “99 nights in the forest” game with a student. She is the one who is very unkind to me, and this was an opportunity to reciprocate with kindness. And I killed myself with that kindness. I was ready to go home at the end of the school day and remembered that we had that staff meeting to attend. I decided to pop some chewing gum in, so my face looks a bit animated, and I look somewhat alive. The ISP team sat together - the 2 teachers and the 2 CYWs. We found some mini chocolate bars on the table. I needed a sugar rush, but I had the chewing gum. After the 99 nights game where I got “to sleep” for 2 seconds on a cushion on the carpet and “wake up” … which meant sitting down and standing up several times! So, I was not in a mood to get up from my chair and get rid of the chewing gum in a garbage can! I was only going to stand up one more time, at the end of the staff meeting, to walk out of there! Then I saw Michael reach for one of the minis. I thought what the heck, I need a break, and I need a Kit Kat. I decided I could have the chewing gum on one side of my mouth and the Kit Kat on the other side. I was confident I could chew them separately. Guess what?! At some point, they got mixed up and I accidentally swallowed the chewing gum. I was in a bit of shock and needed to Google it to make sure I didn’t *really* kill myself. However, I never bring my phone to meetings, and so I had to wait. After that though, I had stopped paying 100% attention to what was being said … I was preoccupied with where in my entire digestive system this piece of chewing gum would lodge itself indefinitely?! After about an hour or so, it was the ISP team's turn to speak. The other ISP teacher was great, and I thought we were done. Our principal looked at me and wanted to hear from me as well. I wasn’t prepared but started off well by thanking her for hiring Michael. I said we had a good 3 days, but our 3 students felt like 30 students. What? Then I said that I was just kidding. What? I had all the teachers look at me like ‘what the heck?’ … yes, that’s the plot twist. Michael and I have only half our students right now!
The meeting literally ended after that.
On the bus home, I closed my eyes for a few minutes. I thought about the last 3 days and smiled. I wanted to write about it all. And I did.
Addendum:
Yesterday, Friday, September 5, 2025, on the 4th day, the new prep teacher quoted me, she said “3 can feel like 30!”. I was both amused and embarrassed. And then I realized that the people most likely to see the humour in this post are Special Education teachers and support staff. I also realized that I am writing for myself now.
One more addendum:
Tuesday, September 9, 2025, on the 6th
day, Michael walks over to my desk and asks if I could do “the motherly thing” and
help him with the Velcro vest again?! I wanted to correct him and state that it
is called “mom mode”, and then I realized that I now have an extra “work kid”
and let it go!!
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