Sunday, 17 May 2026

Seeking Custody vs Kidnapping

Hans was in Burlington, with his dad, for a weekend tournament. One of the things he mentioned, before he left, was a little ridiculous … considering he is almost 18!

Hans’ somewhat exact words: “What if I get kidnapped?”

Me: “That would have happened years ago. Your dad didn’t fight for joint custody. So, what is the point of kidnapping you now?”

Hans: “So you are saying my dad doesn’t love me?”

Me: “No. I am not saying that! Your dad loves you, but he doesn’t want the responsibility.”

Hans: “What do you mean?”

Me: “He is happy to do the fun stuff with you, but not the daily stuff. That’s a responsibility.”

Hans: “Okay.”

The boy says okay a lot. Is that good?

I have known/know parents with joint custody of their kids, and my personal and perhaps limited understanding/conclusion has been/is that parents fight for their kids because they love them or because they hate the other parent. However, those are just 2 extreme reasons, and there are several in between that I know nothing about!

And I am also realizing that I have no idea what my child has been through. Hans never shares anything that he considers can cause pain to others and he never wants to be a disappointment. I get the good stuff from him and not the bad or ugly stuff! I hope he knows he is loved. 

I would have fought for him if I had to, but his dad gave him to me without protesting. If I had to, I would have kidnapped him as well. I hope he knows that.


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