Another First Day of School and another Identity Crisis!

I did cry and I was a bit surprised! I was willing myself not to cry, however the tears just rolled down as if they had their own free will. This time around, Craigley didn’t tease me or look exasperated … he actually held my hand through the outpouring of all emotions. I was happy and sad at the same time. Some of my friends have questioned this sadness I feel. Why? They ask … Perhaps it is a side effect of making that choice to be a stay-at-home mom. My world typically revolves around my children.

Once the kids are at school, who am I? I had my first identity crisis when my oldest became full time in Grade 1. I was worried about how he would survive without his mom for 7 hours … then it hit me! How am I going to survive NOT taking care of him for 7 hours?! It is a sad realization that staying at home and taking care of the kids is a sweet and short lived “career”. The kids grow up and I have to let go.

When I had that first identity crisis, I was rescued by my second pregnancy J This time around, I need to rescue myself.

First Day of School

I remember clearly that night in September of 2005 … the night before the first day of school for my first born! I was crying at the thought of him being on his own at school (looking back now, it seems a little ridiculous as he had school for merely two and half hours each day!). However, I was crying like he was off to a war zone or at least, that’s how Craigley perceived it J In a delightful twist of events that occurred on the next day, I ended up staying in my child’s class to help his teacher … I was with him on his first day of school! Today, he started Grade 6 and I was there with him as he joined the line of friends/classmates facing their new teacher. As he marched into the school building, I was hoping he would turn back and wave … he did not. I probably would have had a teary moment if I didn’t look at the mom standing beside me. I realized that her son did not wave to her as well. Actually, none of the kids looked at their parents. They were so excited to see their friends and share their summer stories … they just moved forward still talking animatedly. That moment was one where I shared with the other parents … I don’t know what they were thinking, however if I were to share my thoughts … I would tell them that we did a good job! Our kids are on their way!

Tomorrow is a different day. My 4 year old’s first day of school ever. I can’t promise I won’t cry J

July and August 2012

These have been 2 very good months for us as a family. We managed to go on a 10 day road trip through the States, a weekend trip to Montreal and camping! In between, we had visits with cousins and friends. And of course, we went to the movies! Plus we enjoyed some days where we did nothing J

When there is about a 7 year gap between 2 children, it is challenging to plan fun family expeditions where both of them are happy. Usually, compromises are made and they become good learning experiences … at least, I’d like to believe that is the case!

The road trip involved visiting 3 cities in the States – Washington D.C., Philadelphia and New York. It was supposed to be a history lesson for my first born. When we got back, he couldn’t wait to talk about the museums and the monuments he got to see. On the other hand, my little one made it a point to proclaim quite knowledgeably that the hotels were really good!

I don’t know how long I will have the pleasure of going on adventures with my children and share in the joy of being together … All I will say is I am glad I have these opportunities and I am going to make the most of them.

My Family - continued -

Just got back from camping and felt the need to add the following to "My Family" post!

The 4 of us were camping at Balsam Lake Provincial Park for the last 3 days along with my brother and his wife. I wouldn't exactly call camping the "Final Canadian Frontier"; however people are still somewhat surprised to see us! This time around as well, we had our friendly neighbour on site 27 explaining to us the fine nuances of camping while we patiently listened to the information we already knew! He ended his spiel with "where are you folks from?". While 5 out of 6 of us responded, "Toronto", my 4 year old said it twice (perhaps he needed to be heard or perhaps for emphasis) - "We are from Canada!".

It was a moment to cherish.

My Family

How do I describe my family? Perhaps, it is easier to narrate an incident that took place when my first born was 5 years old.

He came home from school quite distressed. I wanted him to talk about what was bothering him. All he could say was, “I am not Canadian!” and he started crying. I gave him a hug and let him know that he was born in Canada and he is Canadian. That’s a fact. He wasn’t convinced. “But I don’t look Canadian!”

All the stories I heard or read about kids who form their identities based on physical appearances did not prepare me for the moment when my own child would question his identity as a Canadian. My first reaction was a mixture of anger and sorrow. Where is he getting this information from? Who is filling his head with this nonsense? Of course, I asked him calmly about his source(s). It turned out they were a few kids from his class! I assured him that they were just kids and what do they know! Bad move … our conversation abruptly ended in tears followed by silence.

I realized that I had just invalidated his concerns by typically brushing it off as “kids’ stuff”. I decided to give us both a break and revisit the issue at a later time.

A couple of days later, it was brought up at a dinner with my in-laws. My mother-in-law launched into how her grandfather came to Canada 140 years ago and how that makes her grandson VERY Canadian. As usual, I was less than pleased with her explanation. I proceeded to let my child know that although his own mother’s family had been in Canada only 14 years (at that point in time), they are also VERY Canadian!

There is the privilege of being born in Canada and there is a conscious decision to become part of Canada … My family is a wonderful blend of both. It does not matter if our families have been here for 14 or 140 years, my mother-in-law and I get asked the same question often – “What part of the world are you from?”

The Origin of Momley

The part of the world I come from, they have this cute way of adding “lu” after a name to make it endearing! When I got married to my husband Craig, I guess the most natural thing for me to do was to call him “Craiglu” … I don’t know why, but I started calling him “Craigley”! He mistook that for “Craig Lee” and was very happy. He grew up wanting to be related to Bruce Lee and this way, his wish came trueJ. After our first child was born, my husband started referring to me as “Mom Lee”. Little did he know that one should spell it as “Momley”!

I am sure there are other children in the world who call their moms “momley” and that puts me in very good company.

The Reason to Be

I have always wanted to write something important. Then I felt that I need to read a lot before I could write anything interesting, let alone important! Well, reading requires time and once I had my children, I got busy with the most important job in my life … being a mom! I forgot about writing and pretty much everything else … I became a stay-at-home mom. That particular decision led to criticism from various sources and I shall NOT dwell on that! I am happy with life as is. I have 2 lovely children – 2 boys born almost 7 years apart.

So, why am I here?

About 5 months and a few days ago, my oldest received his last “Shonen Jump” in the mail. It was the final print issue of the monthly Manga publication and it had “See you in Cyberspace” written over its cover page. As soon as I saw that, I said (rather sadly), “It is the end of an era!” My son responded with, “No mom, it is the beginning of a new era!”

That day, after a long time, I started thinking about writing again. “Is it too late for me?” The answer was the registration of “Momley Moments” on Blogger.com. This blog is not about writing something important. It is about sharing the important moments in my life. Perhaps, other moms will drop by and share their moments. Even if no one does, I hope my children would visit one day and know what joy they bring to my life.

“Dear boys, see you in Cyberspace! Love, Momley.”