To Pee OR Not To Pee

[Couldn’t resist a shout out to Shakespeare J]

The dilemma that my 4 year old is facing in school currently is just that, “To pee or not to pee”! So far, he has attended 6 full days of JK and each of those days, he did not pee at school. How would I know for sure? Well, when he gets home … it is Niagara Falls (if you know what I mean) … that’s about 8 hours of voluntary water retention!! And of course, his own confession of “I did NOT pee at school!”.

“Why?”
“I don’t know”
“What do you mean by I don’t know?”
“I don’t know”

That was our conversation from Day 1.

On Day 2, as I walked him to school, I told him that he should pee when he needs to. So, did he? NO. Before we walked back home, I requested his teacher if I could take him to the washroom. I thought if he got familiar with the amenities, he might be more comfortable. Turns out, he knew exactly where the “Boys” washroom was. I was a bit shocked to see it … there was pee everywhere! First instinct was to walk out of there …

“OK”, I told him, “Take some tissue and clean the toilet. Then wash your hands. Then you can pee; clean up again if there is a mess and wash your hands again! Got that?”

“What?”, he said, “Why 2 times?”

We got through that somehow and I hoped that I got through to him. I informed his teacher about the little issue and requested to remind the little guy to go to the washroom.

Day 3

“Why NOT?”
“Because the teacher did NOT tell me to!”

Day 4

“Come on dude! This is NOT good for your bladder!!”
“What is a bladder?”
“It holds your pee and it is getting tired!”
“NO! It is in my tummy and my tummy is OK!”

Day 5

I am thinking TGIF (Thank God, It’s Friday!). I can work with him on the weekend. One of the moms suggested that I offer him a small reward like a lollipop or something. She actually had a few in her handbag and gave me one.

As soon as I saw my little one, I asked him, “Did you go to the washroom?”. He beamed and nodded. I felt so relieved. I gave him a hug and the lollipop; thanked the mom and started walking home with a happy smile on my face.

As soon as we got home …

“I have to go pee! My tummy is hurting!”
“You peed at school today, right?”
“No”
“But you went to the washroom?”
“Yes”

I so badly wanted to scream.

Over the weekend, I was talking about it with my brother. The first thing he told me was that I have too much time on my hands. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t spend this much time thinking about my child not peeing at school. Right!

So, I decided to talk to my son one last time and not make such a big deal of it.

Day 6

Half way to home, he says, “My tummy is hurting!”

We walked home as quickly as we could.

 

Baby Steps to Fame

This post is in honour of my friend, KPF, who is from the beautiful Newfoundland and has an awesome sense of humour J KPF has always encouraged me to write and has always shown an interest in my children’s lives. It is his birthday in a couple of days and I thought I could gift him a wee bit of laughter!

I am going down memory lane today.

My first serious attempt to write something and have it published was in 2004. Here is the joke I sent to Reader’s Digest!

My friend, Zion, likes to visit with my 3-year-old son as much as she can. On one such visit, she decided to test his knowledge of colours. She asked him what her hair colour was and he replied, “Black”. Her next question was: “What colour are your eyes?” His prompt response: “Black and white”.

Of course, I did NOT get any response. What I thought of as the funniest observation by my child was/is probably the most common and oft repeated response by many children around the world! Although I continued to think of my child(ren)’s observations as special, I decided to NOT push them for publishing.

Following is one of those observations:

A few weeks after my second child was born, his older brother duly noted that I put the baby in daycare! I was a little concerned, however very relieved when he mentioned that I need to take some time for myself. Just as I was thinking how considerate he is at just 7 years of age, he followed it up with, “I have noticed that the dishes haven’t been washed in 2 days. If the baby is in daycare, you will have time to wash them”.

Happy birthday K!

Another First Day of School and another Identity Crisis!

I did cry and I was a bit surprised! I was willing myself not to cry, however the tears just rolled down as if they had their own free will. This time around, Craigley didn’t tease me or look exasperated … he actually held my hand through the outpouring of all emotions. I was happy and sad at the same time. Some of my friends have questioned this sadness I feel. Why? They ask … Perhaps it is a side effect of making that choice to be a stay-at-home mom. My world typically revolves around my children.

Once the kids are at school, who am I? I had my first identity crisis when my oldest became full time in Grade 1. I was worried about how he would survive without his mom for 7 hours … then it hit me! How am I going to survive NOT taking care of him for 7 hours?! It is a sad realization that staying at home and taking care of the kids is a sweet and short lived “career”. The kids grow up and I have to let go.

When I had that first identity crisis, I was rescued by my second pregnancy J This time around, I need to rescue myself.

First Day of School

I remember clearly that night in September of 2005 … the night before the first day of school for my first born! I was crying at the thought of him being on his own at school (looking back now, it seems a little ridiculous as he had school for merely two and half hours each day!). However, I was crying like he was off to a war zone or at least, that’s how Craigley perceived it J In a delightful twist of events that occurred on the next day, I ended up staying in my child’s class to help his teacher … I was with him on his first day of school! Today, he started Grade 6 and I was there with him as he joined the line of friends/classmates facing their new teacher. As he marched into the school building, I was hoping he would turn back and wave … he did not. I probably would have had a teary moment if I didn’t look at the mom standing beside me. I realized that her son did not wave to her as well. Actually, none of the kids looked at their parents. They were so excited to see their friends and share their summer stories … they just moved forward still talking animatedly. That moment was one where I shared with the other parents … I don’t know what they were thinking, however if I were to share my thoughts … I would tell them that we did a good job! Our kids are on their way!

Tomorrow is a different day. My 4 year old’s first day of school ever. I can’t promise I won’t cry J

July and August 2012

These have been 2 very good months for us as a family. We managed to go on a 10 day road trip through the States, a weekend trip to Montreal and camping! In between, we had visits with cousins and friends. And of course, we went to the movies! Plus we enjoyed some days where we did nothing J

When there is about a 7 year gap between 2 children, it is challenging to plan fun family expeditions where both of them are happy. Usually, compromises are made and they become good learning experiences … at least, I’d like to believe that is the case!

The road trip involved visiting 3 cities in the States – Washington D.C., Philadelphia and New York. It was supposed to be a history lesson for my first born. When we got back, he couldn’t wait to talk about the museums and the monuments he got to see. On the other hand, my little one made it a point to proclaim quite knowledgeably that the hotels were really good!

I don’t know how long I will have the pleasure of going on adventures with my children and share in the joy of being together … All I will say is I am glad I have these opportunities and I am going to make the most of them.

My Family - continued -

Just got back from camping and felt the need to add the following to "My Family" post!

The 4 of us were camping at Balsam Lake Provincial Park for the last 3 days along with my brother and his wife. I wouldn't exactly call camping the "Final Canadian Frontier"; however people are still somewhat surprised to see us! This time around as well, we had our friendly neighbour on site 27 explaining to us the fine nuances of camping while we patiently listened to the information we already knew! He ended his spiel with "where are you folks from?". While 5 out of 6 of us responded, "Toronto", my 4 year old said it twice (perhaps he needed to be heard or perhaps for emphasis) - "We are from Canada!".

It was a moment to cherish.

My Family

How do I describe my family? Perhaps, it is easier to narrate an incident that took place when my first born was 5 years old.

He came home from school quite distressed. I wanted him to talk about what was bothering him. All he could say was, “I am not Canadian!” and he started crying. I gave him a hug and let him know that he was born in Canada and he is Canadian. That’s a fact. He wasn’t convinced. “But I don’t look Canadian!”

All the stories I heard or read about kids who form their identities based on physical appearances did not prepare me for the moment when my own child would question his identity as a Canadian. My first reaction was a mixture of anger and sorrow. Where is he getting this information from? Who is filling his head with this nonsense? Of course, I asked him calmly about his source(s). It turned out they were a few kids from his class! I assured him that they were just kids and what do they know! Bad move … our conversation abruptly ended in tears followed by silence.

I realized that I had just invalidated his concerns by typically brushing it off as “kids’ stuff”. I decided to give us both a break and revisit the issue at a later time.

A couple of days later, it was brought up at a dinner with my in-laws. My mother-in-law launched into how her grandfather came to Canada 140 years ago and how that makes her grandson VERY Canadian. As usual, I was less than pleased with her explanation. I proceeded to let my child know that although his own mother’s family had been in Canada only 14 years (at that point in time), they are also VERY Canadian!

There is the privilege of being born in Canada and there is a conscious decision to become part of Canada … My family is a wonderful blend of both. It does not matter if our families have been here for 14 or 140 years, my mother-in-law and I get asked the same question often – “What part of the world are you from?”