Friday, 20 March 2015

Generosity and Money Management

Perhaps I was too quick to jump to conclusions?!

My first born sent a note the very next day of the "Texting Rampage" incident to apologize to his Momley‎! He is also home now.

ASid came back with 20 Euros and some change. 20 Euros was the emergency money the teacher asked each student to ‎keep with her! If not for that, ASid literally came home with "chump change"! Somehow even writing about it seems so petty now.

ASid came back with an experience that will remain with him for the rest of his life. He seems somehow more grownup now than on March 12, 2015, the day he left on his trip. He also brought home thoughtful gifts for his family and friends. I am not talking souvenirs here; these are real gifts like a book, a 1 litre glass bottle of apple juice‎, posters, cologne/perfume (small/sample sizes), etc.

He did not buy ice cream for himself, and he did do silly stuff like eat macarons that he does not like; however, he is only 13 and this is the first time he was away from home and making decisions on his own! He may not know how to manage money, but he has a generous heart. I am so proud of him.

‎I still need to take him out for ice cream and have that talk about money management and while I am at it, I must discuss his extreme generous nature!
 

Wednesday, 18 March 2015

The Funnies and the Waterfalls

There are days I tell myself that I am doing a terrible job as a mother. I am sure I must have mentioned somewhere that I perhaps put that extra pressure on myself. If other moms can work and take care of their children, I should do a fantastic job of just taking care of them?! Right?!

Then there are days I know I have done a great job! Such days are made possible by moments like the following:

Hans remarked the other day that his Momley is the best person in the family. When asked for an explanation, he elaborated that his Momley does all the work in the house. In fact, according to him, she is a servant of the family. However, he did conclude that she is better than Batman's servant!

That is a moment when I don't know if I should cry or laugh?! So, I laugh. At least, the little guy observes his environment and knows what is happening. He recognizes his Momley’s contributions in his own special way!

Then there are other moments…

Right now, Hans' big brother is in Paris on an optional school trip! ASid is lucky that he has such generous maternal grandparents and an awesome maternal uncle who are willing to support his dreams or as some may term them, his whims!! ASid is 13 and very few kids get to go overseas at this age. Obviously, he is learning a lot! What I did not expect was the following:

Yesterday, ASid refused to talk with me on the phone and instead went on a Texting rampage! He accused me of ill preparing him with money management and budgeting! He was like "I am just a kid and you expect me to bring back souvenirs for everyone! I can't even buy ice cream for myself!" Well, that was a tad exaggerated. Just a day prior to that, ASid spent money on expensive macarons and McDonald's macarons to do a blind taste test...and he does not even like macarons!!

Should I laugh or cry?!

Well, this has been a learning experience for me. I hope it has been one for ASid as well! ‎As of yesterday, he still had a day and a half to go in Paris and 13 Euros in his pocket. I think he will survive. Tomorrow, he will be home. I will make sure I take him out for ice cream and have that chat about money management and budgeting!

Note: I started typing this post on February 5th and forgot what "the waterfalls" were; today, on March 18th, I knew and finished typing the post!
 

Tuesday, 27 January 2015

2 Boys versus 2 Girls

Children are exposed to a lot more these days than ever before. It is a crazy world we live in.

The other morning, Hans inquired about ASid's "sexy girlfriend"! It was a shocking moment as ASid does not have a girlfriend; at least not that we know of! And sexy? Where did he get that word from? Of course, from "Gangnam Style"; that song is still played and people still dance with gusto when it is played. The most popular lyric is "Hey sexy lady!" or perhaps it is popular because that's the only one in English?!

Well, certain things I can blame on others. Then, there are times I am completely responsible for exposing my children to other things that some may consider too early for exposure!

It started with an episode of "Glee"‎ that I had PVR'd and was watching while the boys were playing in the basement. I don't know when Hans joined me on the couch; that boy is like a ninja! I was so involved that I only realized Hans was beside me when I saw 2 male characters kissing onscreen and Hans exclaimed, "What?!". I told him that it is perfectly normal for 2 boys to kiss each other. He wanted to know if 2 boys can get married?! I answered in the affirmative. Hans ended up watching the rest of the episode with me. He didn't ask anymore questions.

Couple of days later, he said that he felt bad for the 2 boys who kissed each other. I was surprised to know that he was still fixated on it. I wondered why he felt bad. Hans said that they cannot have any children like when a boy and a girl get married. In a weird way of reassuring, I told him that a girl and a girl can get married too, and they won't have any children as well! Before I could broach adoption, Hans said that I was wrong. He said, "2 girls can have more children than 2 boys or a boy and a girl!" 

I just let it be. Sometimes, there is no need for a correction or an explanation. At least, he understands that girls produce children. He doesn't yet know about the role boys play in producing those children. He will learn soon enough. He can be a child for a few more days!
 

Saturday, 24 January 2015

All Inclusive

Already a few days into 2015!

One of my "mom friends" suggested pulling Hans out of school for a week in February and taking him and her 5 year old to Disney World! It would be a mom and son week. I couldn't respond for a few seconds as such an idea had never crossed my mind in a very long time!

The 4 of us always go on trips together. The only exception is ASid's upcoming trip during March Break; it is a planned school trip! Other than that, it has been all inclusive all the time.

Long time ago, when ASid was 2, my mom suggested a trip to the "Mother Land" - just for ASid, my mom and‎ me. She thought it would be a wonderful opportunity to immerse her first grandchild in her language and culture. Craigley was super upset with the idea. He literally threatened to go away with ASid on another trip - just ASid and him! It was an unnecessary battle - very silly and childish (when I look back on it now). Since before that incident and since then, it has always been all inclusive!

However when I mentioned my mom friend‎'s idea to Craigley, he had a different reaction this time. He gave his blessings for the trip! But I don't want to go this time around. I have grown to enjoy the family trips and I know there are only a few left before ASid is off on his post-secondary journey. So, I am not off to Disney World next month. I am happy being in my very own castle in Toronto!

On that note, it is still January and it is not too late to say "Happy New Year"! May this year be the best yet!
 

Monday, 29 December 2014

Honest Feedback: A follow-up!

So ASid handed in his assignment and his teacher, Mr Ck, said, "Thank you", and that was it! Did the teacher get a chance to read ASid's reflection? If he does, what should he do? I would like to know in the New Year.

Meanwhile, ASid also wrote a few "Thank You" notes to some of his teachers. He wrote them in English, in French and ‎in the heritage language he is learning. He also wrote one for a neighbour who is generous to the boys. ASid was also very honest in his notes. I happened to read the first line of one note quite by accident and didn't really want to know the rest. He actually wrote something like "I was really disappointed in the teacher I had last year and I am glad I got you this year!" What is with this child of mine?!

Anyways, 2 of his teachers apparently appreciated his cards more than the gifts. Our neighbour also expressed delight at such a well written note! Must be something not so bad about honesty?!
 

Thursday, 11 December 2014

Feedback: Raw vs Censored

Following is what ASid wrote for a “Reflection” assignment:

I believe as a group, we could have done a better job. Some problems were that our leader, C, did not participate at all and was instead fooling around with her friends, and if she came our way, she wasn't on task at all. If anything, C was an annoyance, disrupting our work, and making it difficult to work together as a unit. Another issue was one of our other group members, T, was slightly inactive during practising, and he often went to socialize, or even buy something from the cafeteria! My fellow members, H, and L highly contributed to our dance warm-up, providing valuable feedback, and criticism to our work. It was mainly L, H, and I who carried the burden of bringing the group together, and choreographing the entire dance, which was also cut off! It seems as if we were not allowed to perform our whole dance warm-up, which would've lasted for around 6-8 minutes, but we were cut down to only 2-4 minutes due to the lack of participation in our practising by our other two members, which hindered the possibility to do our entire dance as it would look bizarre for only 3/5 members to actually do the moves. Another reason that our dance was cut short was because for some reason, you (Mr Ck) said we had to stop our dance as you said that you have seen enough. I felt you gave us somewhat of an unfair marking, as like mentioned before, team members C and T did not participate or help, and since you didn't let us perform the whole dance, you did not evaluate us on the whole dance warm-up. I request for new groups, for future dances, as my current group greatly hinders the capabilities of H, L, and I.

There are days I wish I could express myself that way! Unfortunately, such honesty does not work. It could be construed as being bitter and comes across as ASid is a whining team player. So, I worked with ASid to come up with the following:

I believe as a group, we could have done a better job. Our biggest challenge was a lack of leadership.  Also, only 3 out of 5 team members actively contributed their time and effort to the dance warm-up.  I appreciate 2 of my fellow members who provided valuable feedback, and criticism to our work. It was the 3 of us who carried the burden of bringing the group together, and choreographing the entire dance, which was also cut off! It seems as if we were not allowed to perform our whole dance warm-up, which would've lasted for around 6-8 minutes, but we were cut down to only 2-4 minutes due to the lack of participation in our practising by our other two members, which hindered the possibility to do our entire dance as it would look bizarre for only 3 out of 5 members to actually do the moves. Also, we were asked to stop our dance half way and it also resulted in an unfair marking! As mentioned before, 2 team members did not participate or help, and since we were not allowed to perform the whole dance, we were not evaluated on the whole dance warm-up. I request for a new group, for future dances, as my current group greatly hinders the capabilities of some of us.

As much as I wanted ASid to hand in the reflection as is, I felt the need to teach him diplomacy. I wonder if his teacher, Mr Ck, would have accepted the minor accusation of him being unfair?! Why do they give team work and have it evaluated?! Adults struggle in the real world in team situations. Why burden kids with it?!

I wonder what will happen with this “Reflection” assignment. Stay tuned…
 

Tuesday, 2 December 2014

Second Best

The other day Hans said that I was the best mom in the whole wide world. Instead of graciously accepting the compliment, I proceeded to say something like this: “You know Hans…there is a kid somewhere out there who thinks that his or her mom is the best mom too!”

There was a momentary pause before Hans said: “It’s OK Momley…you can be the second best then!”