When I grow up...continued...

The teen is serious about making money! I caught him looking through this website that proclaimed “35 ways to make money that actually work! (2017 Edition)” It was my turn to look at him like seriously?!

2 years ago, I paid a lot for ASid to attend a French camp for 2 weeks to get his CIT or Counsellor in Training experience. Last year, he went back to the camp and volunteered for 3 weeks and got 105 hours of community service – that is above and beyond the 40 hours of mandatory community service required to get his high school diploma. However, I wanted him to get more out of the French camp experience. Since March, I have been telling ASid to apply for a summer job with this French camp. So, I reminded him again about actually looking at a source that might help him make real money and gain more skills that look good on his resume.

It beats downloading apps for money! That was one of the 35 ways I chanced upon!

This time around, the teen really listened. As I folded some laundry, he typed up a wonderful letter in French. He kept asking me for advice; he translated the letter for me so I could approve; he was on fire and I was very glad. This was on Sunday. This morning, upon inquiry, he realized he received an email yesterday that said that he is a little late in applying for a summer job; however, he was requested to submit an online application. To my amazement, he actually completed the online application before he went to school. I hope he gets an interview at least. If he does not, it is a lesson learned and moving forward, he will listen to his mother in March instead of waiting till May!

In a heartfelt aside, I must share here that he got me a sweet Mother’s Day gift – a Gotham pan! Last summer, Hans and I watched this infomercial over and over again, and we totally bought into this guy selling these Gotham pans! I wanted to buy one and kept hesitating. ASid remembered and he made the decision to buy me one. It was super thoughtful and made me super happy. He also let me know that he would work on a blog that involves something he is passionate about. He said that he got that advice from a cool source. Before I could take credit, he said that I made it sound like a lot of work till he got better advice elsewhere. I was about to protest, but didn’t! I can’t win all the time. I need to cherish some moments and let others go. This kid is only 15 and he is already more grown up than most grownups!

 

When I grow up...

Most mornings, I have the wonderful opportunity to spend a few minutes of quiet/conversational time with the elusive teen. I only speak if he does. Usually he is busy eating breakfast and mulling over stuff in his head. Once in a while, he pauses and says "Oh! Hi ma!" There are mornings I get news about nonsense and then, there are mornings he shares his frustrations about his life and then, there are those rare mornings when he seeks advice!

This morning, he wanted to know if he should start a blog. I was like you came to the right person kid! But then I couldn't say it out loud. So, I had to totally dumb it down. I thought the best way to deal with the situation is to ask relevant questions. Obviously, the most relevant is a simple "Why?”.

Turns out he wants to make some money on the side. Blogs apparently have this "ad sense" feature or something that allows a blogger to make money depending on traffic. The teen was actually more informed than I was!

What's with my boys?! The younger one wants to be rich and famous. The older one is quite content with just being rich; he doesn't care about fame. I don't quite get it; however, an aspiration for money is not a bad goal for the boys to have. There is fundamentally nothing wrong with it if they are willing to work toward it.

So, my sincere advice to the teen was to choose a topic he is passionate about. If he is not excited about it, he can't write or blog about it. Also, he must have the discipline to post something regularly - at least, once a week.

He looked at me like seriously?!

 

One day he will realize that there are no short cuts to making money. Most of us have to work hard. Some of us are born into it. Very few of us are lucky enough to get that break that changes things overnight...the rags to riches kind of success!

To continue on a relevant note, I got a question from the younger one yesterday morning, "What did you want to be when you were a kid mom?" I told him that I have always aspired to be a teacher and a writer. So, he asked me to write a book. Book about what?! I asked him. He simply said, "Your life." So, I asked him who would want to read about my life?! He said, "Who cares! Just write!" And then he proceeded to give me my first sentence..."My name is..."

I didn't seek advice and I got the best advice from a most unlikely source. And when I could provide advice, I feel like I got too technical and killed any desire my child had to do something exciting! I hope I am able to rectify that mistake soon and while I am it, I can maybe do some growing up!

 

The Tulip Thief

Last Wednesday was a crazy day for me. That was the day I was at Hans' school to take some last minute photos for the Yearbook. I scheduled an hour for it and ended up staying almost 3 hours. Got home to have a quick late lunch and went back for pickup. Y's boys and Hans wanted to hang out, and so the boys had a play date after school. Then, we were at my brother's for a family gathering that lasted till almost 11 pm. When we got home was when I noticed the 2 tulips on the dining table!

I was ready to scream, but held myself in check; slowly walked up the stairs to the washroom where Hans was brushing his teeth and asked him what the heck were those 2 tulips all about?! He smiled the biggest toothpasty smile and said through some toothpasty bubbles that they were for me! Nope, my Momley heart did not melt from this declaration. Instead, I wanted to know all the details. Within a couple of minutes I found out he plucked them from a neighbour's backyard. Apparently, he only plucked one and the other was plucked by Y's younger one who is 6. Obviously, the latter was simply following in the older delinquent's footsteps!

As is my nature, I had to have a talk and let the boy know that we might have some disgruntled neighbours. At that point in time, Hans also revealed that someone saw them doing the deed and commented that some children do not know how to behave! Now that meant, I have to track down 2 sets of neighbours to apologize for my child's stealing tendencies. I might have said that out loud. Hans got all worried and concerned that he might have to go to jail. It was midnight before he went to sleep.

The next day morning, I let him sleep in. As we walked to school, I brought it up again; a little gently this time. I let him know that I appreciated the tulip; however, I don't need flowers to make me happy. I don't need any material anything from him ever to make me happy. I just enjoy spending time with him; like our walks to and from school. Even in the future, when he can walk to school by himself or when he is no longer at home, I would prefer if he called me or wanted to spend some time with me. That's all I need to make me happy.

As per his nature, he wanted to know if there is anything that he could buy for me?! He really insisted on it. This boy does not give up easily. For someone who was discouraging material purchases for herself, it didn't take me long to come up with what I wanted him to buy for me! I looked at his little eager face and told him that he could buy me an umbrella! He smiled at my answer and said that he would buy me the most expensive umbrella. I told him that all I want is a light, sturdy and strong umbrella. Hans was happy to have an answer from me and it also made the most sense to him.

I have a history of losing umbrellas. Those are the only things I lose and since I walk, those are quite essential to have. Recently, I lost my most favourite umbrella and have been quite upset with myself. It was almost therapeutic for me to talk about my loss with my little guy. He patiently listened to my sob story and then, we got to school.

As I walked back home, I felt a little ridiculous as I could go and buy an umbrella for myself. And as I finish writing this post, I feel like I should have titled it "The Umbrella Loser". But then again, who would want to read a post with that title?!

 

Hope

I am going to call "Someone Else's Child" Hope.

Hope is one of my favourite words in the English language. If I had a daughter, I would have named her Hope for sure. Since I don't have that opportunity, I am going to use it as a pseudonym for this little girl.

Hope and I had 3 reading sessions so far and it has been a lot of fun. The third session, we started talking about all the programs she does after school. It is amazing how much time kids spend in programs after school. Considering that school itself is about 7-8 hours, that's a lot of time! Hope has 4 or 5 programs she does including reading with me. So, I asked her the most natural and curious question - What does she enjoy the most?!

Without even thinking, Hope replied, "School! I love school the most!"

Then, she paused, looked at me and continued, "You look a little sad… I like reading with you, but I like school the most."

I am always blown away by how honest kids can be, but I was also touched by her sensitivity towards my feelings. I must have looked a little sad!

So, I assured her that I am happy with her answer. Since she spends the most time at school, I am glad that she enjoys school the most!

She reminded me of myself as a little girl. I was in love with school. The only way my dad would get me to drink milk, that I disliked drinking very much, was by threatening to keep me home and not send me to school! And I would drink milk grudgingly through tears and sobs, but I would make sure I got to school!

Even now, I am the happiest when I am at school, any school. Schools represent places of learning and I know there is no end to learning. And I also know I have a lot to learn!

I hope the boys have inherited this love for learning. There are days I worry when they want to stay home and not go to school. I wonder if the hospital sent me home with the wrong babies?! Alright boys! Momley is just kidding. But I sure hope you go far in your learning.

 

Real Life is not that simple!

It is ridiculous to compare Life to Facebook; however, I am going to for argument’s sake. Please bear with me. Thank you.

I don't actually have a Facebook account; however, I have borrowed Craigley's account on occasion to connect with friends who want to share their pictures on Facebook. What I noticed right away was how everything seems so wonderful on Facebook; almost every picture is eerily perfect. But I digress from what I want to write about and focus on. I am most fascinated by one feature of Facebook - The Unfriend feature. I believe the idea is to remove a person from one's friends' group with the click of a button! How easy is that?!

Let us contrast that with real Life now…

I consider myself a friendly person; however, I have only a few friends. So, it was rough on me to let go of a friendship that meant a lot. But I did; at least I gave it a sincere effort! I was trying to protect the children involved and I was trying to perhaps protect myself as well?! Now, when I think about it, I am not sure what or whom I was really trying to protect?!

However, I am glad to have all the wonderful voices of reason in my life. Sir B is one such voice. His words stayed with me a long time; they usually do. So, what was G's fault?! Perhaps like me, he was concerned for his children and family as well?! But I didn't feel it necessary to have a conversation with G and I made the executive decision to click on the invisible "Unfriend" button in real Life.

If a person could disappear by clicking on a button, that would make Life easy. It could also be very sad if you clicked that button by mistake and wanted the person back! Luckily, there are no such buttons in real Life. We make those choices by the words we use or through our actions.

How do I truly "Unfriend" someone who shares the same passion for contributing to his children's school like I do?! This is our second year working on the Yearbook together. We worked on the School Council together. We hosted a successful Movie Night together. We recently took on the Fun Fair - The biggest event at school. We are 2 of the very few parents who enjoy working at our children's school and not just that, we make an awesome team. 2 like-minded people making a positive difference!

At the beginning, I kept declaring, "Dude, we are not friends anymore; we are just parents working together!" Then, it started feeling a little ridiculous. Who am I kidding?! And who are these people who are trying to control my Life and dictate who I can be friends with?!

Sir B, thank you! It took me a while, but I see the light now.

G, I am so sorry! Thank you for not giving up on our friendship!

Boys, Momley has been feeling a lot foolish lately. However, it is never too late to say sorry to a friend and if you are lucky, you still have your friendships in spite of any foolishness on your part.
 

A Fortune Cookie Tale

3-4 months ago, I was faced with the possibility of finding out something may be terribly wrong inside my body! There was a week to 2 weeks of tests and results before anything could be confirmed. However, I got all dramatic; reflected on life and got ready to die! Well, at least, I wasn't afraid of the possibility of Death. As it has been said, that's one thing that is inevitable anyways!

Well, everything worked out well for me and I felt a little foolish after the fact.

Recently, my friend C is going through a similar experience. She was told to go to Emergency like her life depended on it and then, 13 hours later, she comes back home with a new ailment! She is bed ridden now and like most normal human beings, she is pondering the possibility of Death.

In the last one week, I got to visit with her 3 times. First time, I took some soup for her. She looked so pale and weak; I literally wanted to feed her the soup myself. However, she didn't exactly have an appetite. Second time, I went with my friend Y who brought over some clementines. C actually managed to eat one and we were all happy. My third visit was 2 days later and I was relieved to see some colour in my friend's face. Her little guy was eating a fortune cookie and she felt like eating one too. To me, that was a positive indicator of her getting better.

So, she ate a fortune cookie and read out loud her fortune. It said something like, "Enjoy your today as there may be no tomorrow”. She panicked and blurted out, "Does this mean I am going to die?" And immediately, her little guy said, "Mommy, are you going to die?" Then, we had to change the topic quickly!

When I got home, I got a text from C. She was like what a terrible fortune...am I going to die? I was like go and get another fortune cookie; get a second opinion!  She was like I like that!

Today is the tomorrow mentioned in the fortune. My friend is alive and well.

There ends this fortune cookie tale.

Thank you C for inspiring me to write this post. As I typed the words above, I was crying and laughing at the same time. I do believe C will have a long life, and I hope to grow old with her and my other friends. I also believe we will see our grandkids one day and share this tale with them! And we will all have a good laugh together.

Today is also Smoggy’s birthday. Happy Birthday Smogs! Hope you have a wonderful long life.

 

The rewards we reap...

Hans has been through a lot in the last few weeks; I felt that it might cheer him up if we hung out together and have some mom-son time.

One of the communities in our neighbourhood invited the rest of us to attend an event for children that took place at Nathan Phillips Square over the weekend. Hans wasn't exactly enthusiastic about it, but I insisted. Couple of his classmates also extended the invitation to him. I wanted us to be good neighbours. I wanted him to show support to his classmates.

So, we set off together. From the moment we started walking toward the bus stop, Hans started complaining.

Why can't dad drive us? I am tired already.

I refused to listen and kept going.

Can we be there for 5 minutes and then come back home?

I agreed.

We got off at Dundas subway station. Dundas used to be my station when I worked. Just seeing it brought back wonderful memories. I tried to remember the best way to get out and walk to Nathan Phillips Square.

Hans started complaining again.

My feet are tired. Let us go back home!

As we found a way to get to Bay Street, my memories literally flooded me. I felt like I had gone back in time. I felt young and energetic.

Hans wanted to rest a bit.

The boy sounded so whiny. I wanted to sit him down and let him know that I gave up a life from another time and traded it with this one that is listening to him complain about walking to an event! Is that a good trade?!

That was a terrible thought, however not worth a second thought. I am not perfect; but I am certainly not mean. I felt bad for a moment and then I decided to let it go!

Instead, I shared my memories with him. It kept him occupied and we got to the event. Not surprisingly, we ended up staying almost 2 hours. We had a late lunch and hopped on a train at Dundas to get back home.

The boy did not complain at all.

Later that day, while he was brushing his teeth, he wanted to know how I am such a good parent?! He was genuine and so kind. I felt terrible that I even had a momentary thought about trading this life for a past life!

I told Hans I am not such a good parent. However, the boy insisted. He told me it was a great idea to go support our neighbours and his classmates. He said he had fun. And then, he paid me the ultimate compliment...he told me that I am Wonder Woman! Then he followed that with, "That's because you have good parents! Grandpa is Superman and Grandma is the original Wonder Woman!"

I couldn't argue with his excellent superhero logic.

And I wouldn't trade him for anything.

Note: Boys, if you ever get upset and think terrible thoughts or say mean words, and then feel bad about it…at least, you can blame it on genetic predisposition; at most, you can own up to your words and apologize. No one is perfect and there is always room for improvement. Take care out there!