Cross Country Woes

ASid has never been interested in most kinds of sports and athletic endeavours. However, on occasion, he has been known to join the Cross Country teams at his respective schools.

The first time was at his Junior High School. He was in Grade 8. It didn't make any sense to me. It wasn't peer pressure; maybe it was what they call "peer pleasure"?! Hanging out with your friends not because they are pressuring you, but because you want to!!

I still remember waking up Craigley to drive the boy to school in the wee hours of the morning for Cross Country practice. Craigley would always grumble, "Why can't he practice by starting the run from home?" It made sense, but it was too early in the day and I didn't want ASid to be the only one on the streets. So, Craigley would drive him and drop him at school that was 15 minutes of a walk from our home.

Fast forward to Grade 12 and now…

ASid informed me a couple of weeks ago that he joined the Cross Country team at his High School. Seriously, what was the boy thinking?! He was late to school 4 out of 8 school days at that point in time. How was he going to get to practice on time?! High School is an hour away from home and involves walking as well as the TTC (a bus, a short subway ride and a bus). No way was Craigley going to indulge the boy with drop offs!!

To his credit, ASid made all the necessary arrangements. Obviously, I was recruited to wake him up earlier than usual and he had his friend and friend's mom pick him up. The commitment was for 2 days a week over 4 or 5 weeks.

Day 1, the friend had to ring our bell.

Day 2, I had ASid waiting on the street for his friend and mom.

Day 3, ASid decided he was too sick to go; sent friend a text; friend rang our bell a few minutes later. (Definitely one of the 2 moms was mad!)

Day 4, ASid was officially sick!

Day 5, the friend had to ring our door bell again!

Day 6, the friend sent a text stating a preference to study for the Math test scheduled for period 1 over Cross Country practice!

That is where we are now. Week 3, Day 6! The drama of it all!!

And last night, ASid declared that he might drop Physics this semester and pursue it in night school (if necessary) next semester!! (Is that a silent scream I hear in mine own ears?!)

Given that, the Cross Country woes seem like nothing! Nothing at all!!
 

The littlest of them all!

Many years ago, when I decided to pursue Liberal Arts, my dad's only advice to me was to do my best no matter what path I choose to walk.

A few years ago, I heard about this woman who was an incredible tutor. She was in such demand that only a lucky few got to work with her. I knew I would die for a reputation like hers.

Fast forward to now and I am nowhere near where my dad would want me to be and not even close to the woman who has no more time to give!

High expectations and lofty goals; on a positive note, I still have time and I am learning as I go.

When I am approached to tutor a child, I set up a one-time free custom assessment for that child where a parent or parents are also in attendance. They literally get instant feedback as to what I can do for the child based on my observations from the assessment. At that point in time, both parties can either move forward or call it a day. I give parents time to think about it and get back to me. If I really like the parents, I will accommodate them as much as I can with scheduling. If not, I can come up with a few reasonable excuses to decline an opportunity to work with their child(ren).

The freedom to pick my work environment is important to me. At the end of the day, I am my own boss!

If all of the above seems easy, it certainly is not! I have to think about my own children and how it affects them. My home is also my work place. So, I have had to decline a few kids without even meeting them. Some, I will still meet and assess as parents are very earnest in requesting at least some feedback about how they can help their children. The rest, whom I have actually taken on, leave me with a constant fear of if I am doing the best for them?!

The ability to choose has not made my life easy by any means. Sometimes I wish I had no choice so I can blame someone else for my fears...

Over the last 3 weeks, I have been working with a 7 year old girl. I see her at 5:30 pm on Mondays. I knew when I took her on that she is shy and her mom would like her to be assertive. I was confident that I could work with this child and produce results the parent wants. Last week, I wasn't so sure of myself. This child barely cracked a smile and showed very little emotion.

As much as a writer dreads looking at a blank page without feeling an inspiration to write something, it is worse for a teacher to look into the lifeless eyes of a pupil!

Today, as ASid was about to leave for his own French tutoring session, I remarked how I feel terrible about this child who looks like she is forced to endure an hour of some horror with me. The boy looks at me and advises that I do a song and a dance and everything I can for this child before I talk that way! He was like play a game with her; make it fun for her.

First, I was like “Hey! That is my advice to you!” And then, I was like “Great advice!”

I actually decided to sing and dance if I needed to! This is a 7 year old and suddenly the littlest of them all had become my biggest challenge!

And we got through it. I didn’t dance, but I sang to her. When her mom came to pick her up, I told her that she has the next Monday off as it is Thanksgiving Day. To my surprise, the mom was disappointed and wanted a makeup session. I told her that the child would probably like a break from me and the mom said that her child looks forward to working with me on Mondays.

What?!

I wanted to tell the mom that I didn’t believe her one bit; but then the child smiled the biggest smile ever and nodded in agreement with her mom.

Even as I am writing about it here, I find that moment unbelievable. All I can tell myself is that if I continue to care as much as I do and give it my best, even the littlest of them will sense that and learn to appreciate my efforts.

I must never ever give up on the dream of becoming the woman who is so much in demand that she has no more time to give! It is achievable!

 

A Night with Light

This evening and tonight were spent with my friend C. Both her boys are now at 2 different schools and not one of them is at Hans' school. So, I don't see my friend much.

Last week, we had School Council elections at Hans' school. Just before I left home, I burst into tears as I realized that I would step out of my home and not see the cheerful face of my friend C waiting for me in her car in my driveway. I also knew I wouldn't see my friend Y when I would eventually get to school. Both ASid and Hans wondered if I had any friend waiting for me. Yes, I did. G was there and, he and I are Co-Chairs again. But G is a guy! Not to insult all the men in the world, but G is a guy’s guy! I am not sure what he would do if I ever burst out into tears in front of him?! Probably ask me to clean up and get on with it!! Maybe even pull a Professor Higgins on me and recite (note: not sing) "Why can't a woman be more like a man?".

But tonight was spent with my friend C. We both usually tend to be emotional; however, this evening, we were both giddy little girls. We mostly giggled and took nothing seriously. We first attended a kickoff event to support a fellow parent running for Trustee in the upcoming Municipal Elections. And then, we decided to go grocery shopping for fun. But somewhere in our conversation, I mentioned to C that ASid was downtown partaking in the Nuit Blanche celebrations scheduled from 7 pm this evening to 7 am tomorrow morning. And then, on a whim, we decided to join the crowds and ended up at the Aga Khan Museum. It was quite breathtaking architecture and it was a first visit for both of us. After admiring the artefacts, we felt like coffee. We ended up at Demetres at Shops at Don Mills. It was a sweet ending to a spontaneous evening.

It was the most fun I had in ages. Felt young. And I was glad that I gave permission to ASid to go out with his friends and pull an all-nighter! I hope he is out there having the time of his life.

We are truly young quite literally only once in a lifetime. We can feel young later on; but both C and I yawned half way to our coffee and couldn't wait to get home and go to bed. We made it before the clock struck 12!

To be old and wise is not a stage that all can achieve. Tonight was filled with such light!

 

Dinner Table Times

It has been a while since the 4 of us sat down for dinner together at home.

ASid has gotten into the habit of eating an early dinner with friends and skipping the one made at home. His pay cheque from his summer job has given him options! Craigley too has been eating irregularly. He has been indulging in late exotic lunches and making a simple sandwich for himself for dinner. Hans has been my only consistent customer. And yesterday, he wondered if we could go to Hero Burger?!

I figured I will take the little guy out. All I made clear was that it would be a walking expedition and he assured me that he was willing to walk for a burger. I asked him for some time as I needed to cook the chicken I had in the fridge regardless. When he heard that, he immediately decided to eat whatever I was planning on cooking.

He was like, "Your cooking is better than a burger any day!"

It was gross exaggeration. My cooking skills are limited and I am no gourmet chef.

To cut a long story short, I actually had everyone at the table for dinner.

ASid was a little under the weather and I guess he had no choice. Craigley had a "long day" at work to make an effort to make anything for himself. And although I do not eat chicken, I joined the boys with some veggie leftovers. 

As I sat down, I remarked how everything on their plates was cooked by me. At that point in time, Craigley made a comment to ASid that he probably never ate such delicious chicken at any of the restaurants he frequents with his friends?!

I was just listening. I had a busy week for someone who is mostly unemployed and I was too tired to even gloat over the generous compliment from Craigley. I was just relieved that there was mostly silence around the table and no heated conversations that ruined it all.

The best moment came toward the end when Hans popped into the kitchen as I was putting away stuff. He wondered if there were any leftovers and if so, he wanted them for lunch the next day!

That, in my books, is the real deal. And the boy made my day, my week and my month!

Dinners together may, one day, become a thing of the past for me; however, the memories will last forever. I thought I should capture one here to revisit later!

 

Disconnection Consequences

I have several drafts sitting in my Yahoo Mail that will never see the light of day as blog posts. For some good reasons, I gave up on them half way through. Following is one such draft and it has actually survived to tell a tale!

I guess I went back to the draft as I happened to be mulling over something I like to call the "Dilemma of Craigley"; however, I realized that it is not a dilemma, it is what it is! I most likely ponder over this non dilemma quite a bit since the following draft was from sometime before the summer holidays!

 

Recently, we had many issues with our provider who was responsible for the following services: Cellular, Internet, Telephone and TV. This has been our only provider in my married life up to this point in time.

In the last one year and a bit, the TV service and the Telephone service were lost a few times. But those were services I used and I somehow managed; the point to note here is that those weren't services Craigley used. So, it did not bother Craigley one bit until the Internet started acting up!

To cut a long story short, Craigley's patience ran out and he made the executive decision to change providers. One day, I arrived home to find the door ajar and 3 strangers in our home amidst furniture and stuff that had been definitely moved around. I knew right at that moment in time that life would not be the same again even if Craigley showed up a few minutes later to proclaim to the 3 men that his wife and the boss of the home was finally there to tell them all what to do!

Really?!

I should have started crying right there and then... mourned the loss of all the messages I had saved on the phone till then. The oldest was from Smoggie from about 9 or 10 years ago, and there were a few others that made me smile each time I heard them. They were all gone. And I should have lamented losing all the shows that I had PVR'd to watch leisurely over the summer holidays.

So, am I the only one who is miserable these days at our home?!

Not really. If I could be trusted to be non-biased after the above outburst, I would say that no one has been happy since the change. It is like the proverb - we have traded the known devil for the unknown!

There ends that tale.

And in recent news, we added another computer to our existing computers because it is mighty necessary. And when the printer acts up, we must fix it because really Momley is the only one who uses it.

And who is the boss?! Apparently, it is Momley!! 

Cheers.

Here comes a Dimbley!

When we were very little, my mom took my brother and me to watch a movie that she watched when she was a child! It was obviously a black and white film, but filled with wondrous magic. It instantly became my favourite movie at that point in time. My one big takeaway from that movie was the name "Dimbley"! (Obviously, I have made up a new word for the original; this blog is all about keeping everything Canadian without adding specific ethnic or cultural backgrounds into it!)

So, who or what is a Dimbley?!

Dimbley was the name given to monster children in that movie. The monster children were like Munchkins from "The Wizard of Oz". And I loved that they were called Dimbley; a word I had never heard of before!  I started calling my brother Dimbley. He was the first Dimbley. The second was ASid and the third was Hans.

What started off as a proper noun has now become a common noun!

Now that I have other children whom I tutor and spend time with, I feel like I have a whole bunch of monster children! My one little Dimbley has become several little dimblies!

I want to write about one of them today. This one has an amazingly crazy imagination. I will call her Sunny. I saw Sunny 3 times a week over the summer holidays and she is continuing with me this school year. She is a bright child and this is her first year at the CW. Given the fact that she got into an art school, I tailored my lessons a little differently for her. Along with grammar, we indulged in poetry, and along with reading, we did some creative writing. I had a lot of fun and I believe she did as well. One of the assignments I had for Sunny was to retell the Cinderella story. When we brain stormed, she wanted to make it a murder mystery and I was excited as it is my favourite genre. However, Sunny came back with a horror story. To make a long story short, Sunny's version of Cinderella ended with the prince in a torture chamber where anyone and everyone can kick him and punch him as they please. That story gave me serious goosebumps!

While Sunny is discovering her inner Stephen King, ASid has been trying to narrow down his university options. The boy does not realize how brilliant he is. He can speak both of the official languages of Canada and he is learning to speak another International language while he is in a program with a focus on Math, Science and Computers. It makes sense to combine those very different skills; however, ASid wants to explore Psychology as his Minor! That gave me serious goosebumps as well! Psychology was my Minor for my first undergraduate degree.

I do not know where Sunny's imagination will take her and I do not know where ASid will be next September, but I am so privileged to be part of the lives of my little dimblies.

And one day, maybe, they can be a series of children's books.

 

Noteworthy Remarks: Today is one of my favourite days of the year. It is September 14th and it is KPF's birthday. On his birthday, I like to write something funny or optimistic to reflect who my friend is and dedicate something small for him. With a bit of luck, today, I hope I came up with an original word that has potential to become as common as munchkin in our vocabulary!

 

Level of Maturity

G advised me a couple of times to not take what my kids say too seriously because they are just kids. I can see G's point of view quite clearly - how would a 10 or 17 year old know anything about life? Much less, for sure, when they were younger! It is a reasonable advice from a good friend. But then, if we have immature adults, why then can't there be a possibility of mature children?!

Last night, I listened in on a conversation between ASid and Hans. The older brother was talking about minimum wage and what that means in terms of one's lifestyle. ASid recruited me as a consultant to find out rental costs, grocery expenses, etc. I was happy to help. Eventually, ASid's point was that one must aspire for more than minimum wage if one wants to actually live a life beyond simply paying bills and trudging along from pay cheque to pay cheque.

It was quite enlightening, but definitely terrifying for the younger brother.

While ASid was at it, he also talked to Hans about taking initiative. For this part of the lecture, their Momley was a super star. ASid talked about how Momley takes initiative at Hans' school and how it has made a difference for Hans and other students at school.

That reminded me of a speech I heard at a dinner a few months ago. The speaker said that parental involvement at schools is supposed to enhance the student experience. Once it starts to become subjective, parents should step aside or step down. However, the reality is that there are too many personal agendas and many more power politics that parents bring to their children's schools. Immaturity runs rampant when that happens and it happens quite frequently.

So, having witnessed adults say and do unbelievably senseless stuff, I am of the opinion that maturity is not directly proportionate to age. Maturity is independent of age. And if I have to seek advice anytime soon, I would be quite comfortable running any dilemma of mine by my children.

Having said that, today, I watched "Teen Titans Go! To the Movies" with Hans. I was looking forward to the movie as I enjoy watching the series quite a bit. But the movie was a letdown for me. However, Hans stayed till the very end and exclaimed how good the movie was! He was thrilled to bits at ending his summer holidays watching some of his favourite fictional characters. He laughed the loudest through the many butt and fart references in the movie. Each time, I was reminded of how much he is still a child!

Since I am a fan of those crazy characters as well, would that make me somewhat childish and immature?! If anyone were to think that, I am the insulted!!