Death and Life

Hans is not as much fascinated by God anymore, however that has been replaced by his fascination for Death...rather a fear of Death.

A few days ago, he was bawling while he got ready for bedtime. He kept saying that he didn't want to die and he didn't want anyone else to die as well. I let Hans cry. I believe it is therapeutic to ‎let it all out. Once he calmed down, he wondered if he would go to Heaven?! Of course, I assured him. Hans wanted a guarantee!! How can I be so sure that he would go to Heaven? How do I know? I had to admit that I didn't know for sure...

Then, he requested that he didn't want to be buried. He wanted to know his options. I mentioned cremation and he wasn't exactly sold on the idea. It was quite bizarre ‎that we were having this conversation just before bed time instead of reading a superhero book together. Finally, Hans drifted off to sleep.

If Hans ever brings up Death again, I would perhaps steer the conversation towards Life. As many wise people have already observed, Death is imminent; we cannot avoid it! We all die some time or the other. How nice! Now that we have that out of our way, I would really want both my boys to live Lives that are remembered.

On that note, I will continue to persevere ‎as well. Life is too short and there is a lot to be done. So what if some plans fall apart; there are others to consider. And I want my Life to be remembered! 

It is great how the boys remind me about what is important. In the process of trying to answer their questions, I find solutions to my own dilemmas. While I am chasing away their demons, I find my angels.

 

(L)earnings from 41 Years of Life

As I am approaching the year after the "big four oh", I feel like there is so much I still need to do on a personal level as well as on a Momley level!

Recently, I have been looking at Momley Moments as some sort of a virtual ‎head stone over my final resting place. This is where the boys can visit and reflect. Given that, I need to put more thought into my ramblings!

Couple of days ago, I woke up to read an email from my friend Y. She needs to leave the country to visit her grandfather who had a heart attack. It is one of those moments where I didn't know how to respond. Her family, 3 generations of people, were planning the 100th birthday celebration for this very grandfather over several weeks if not months. Now, it may never happen...

Such is life. We are here one day and gone the next. Plans fall apart and there are times I have fallen apart. However, I am fortunate to have family and friends who put me back together each and every time. Currently, another plan seems to be falling apart. I planned to be reemployed by the time I was 40; didn't happen! I was kind enough to give myself an year's extension. Now that I am so close to meeting my own renewed due date, it appears like things may not work out?!

When someone's life is about to end, a plan to be gainfully employed‎ seems so materialistic! But employment is important; I have found out in recent years. But I also remember my friend's, Smoggy's, words: any job, at the end of a day, is just a job. Smoggy is right. There will be other jobs to find! I guess the reason I can't find a job is because I don't want any job; I want a job that means something to me. I have waited so long that it doesn't make sense to compromise as the goal is near!

I guess I am quite fortunate (again) to have this time to dwell on my situation and to have the ability to choose. ‎If this were life or death, I guess I would have little choice...I would take the first available flight out!

So, what have I learned in the last 41 years that I can share with my children?

Life is measured by the choices we make when we actually have the ability to choose. ‎Some choices are made for us and some we make under duress. The choices we take the time to make are the ones that truly define us! So, I hope my children make the right choices in their lifetime and can look back on life with few regrets.

Right now, at this moment in time, I can.

 

Canada Day OR Any Day

We, the 4 of us and my brother's family of 3, headed to Ottawa for Canada Day festivities. Recently my honourary brother and his wife moved there‎, and it just felt right to throw in some quality family time. The bonus is that my friend KPF lives in Ottawa as well. It was a wonderful opportunity for ASid and Hans to meet KPF. Many years from now, when I am no more and the boys visit these pages, they will know who my friends are and what they have contributed to their Momley's Life.

Coming back to Canada Day, it was a rainy, windy and somewhat cold day. Some of our spirits were dampened and yet, we stepped out to watch the fireworks. We spent some time at the "most visited" Museum in Canada and enjoyed some beavertails. KPF joined us there and we were a merry party of 10. We lined up to look at the Magna Carta and then we all wandered off in groups of 2 and 3. It is always a pleasure to catch up with friends and it is always a treat to spend even a few minutes with KPF. He is genuinely a kind person and he let me blah blah blah blah about Post-Colonial Literature and Native Canadians (our First Nations' people) while we walked through the Museum. I don't think I paid any attention to the actual exhibits. KPF is my Ezra Pound and I am always eager to share all my knowledge and experiences with him; however, he needs to start editing my speaking as well as my writing! Not going to happen…he is too kind for his own good!

Anyway, while we were at the Museum, people started gathering just outside for the 10 pm fireworks. Eventually we parted ways with KPF who was off to support another friend; then we grabbed some dinner and joined the crowds for the fireworks. ‎The much anticipated fireworks lasted 15 minutes and were spectacular. We were cold, but were warmed by the brilliant display of colours, light and sound.

How far have we come since the Magna Carta and yet, no technology or scientific advancement can beat the time spent with family and friends. Canada Day or any day, it is a celebration when I have a few moments with the people who matter the most in my Life.


Note: When I talk about my friend being Ezra Pound, I mean it in the best possible sense. KPF stands by his friends no matter what and, he silently listens and supports. ‎I have always felt it easier to share my writing with him than anyone else. I guess I also wanted him to be an editor of sorts; quite the burden to place on a good friend! So, I call him my Ezra Pound - the man who was one of the bestest of friends and the greatest of editors!! That's what I mean...plain and simple!

 

Year End Thank You(s)

Been so busy that I am guilty of not capturing some choice Momley moments; this one is fresh off the Press!!

Day before yesterday was ASid's last Piano lesson of the school year‎. We went to pick up some flowers for his lovely teacher. The Florist department usually offers various cards one can add to the flowers. ASid picked up a "Thank You" card. A few seconds later, his younger brother Hans offered him another option - a "Sorry" card!

This school year (2014-15) has been the one where ASid had been more interested in hanging out with his friends, texting his friends and calling his friends!! By his own admission, he has been a mediocre student and that he neglected to practise his Piano or the Heritage Language he chose to learn! This was the year to have completed his RCM Grade 6 curriculum, but he barely managed to learn 2 compositions in 10 months!!

So the "Sorry" card was actually more appropriate‎. But all ASid could muster was "I already got the card!". Hans kept insisting and pushing the "Sorry" card in his older brother's face. At one point, I almost joined Hans! After a few seconds of back and forth, Hans backed off when ASid threatened to kick him!!

I did not see what ASid wrote in the "Thank You" card, however I am sure he added a "Sorry" somewhere in there!

 

And so it begins...

Where do I start?!

Hans has been on set for 3 days now. The first day, he did some "background" work. The second day, he was in front of the camera delivering dialogue for the first time. He was a little nervous. The third day, he got to ‎go back in front of the camera. After some filming, the kids were on a break. Hans announced to everyone that he can no longer do background as it is boring, and he will only be a "principle actor" from then on!

I was mortified. 3 days and such an ego already?!

I started that post on Friday, May 1st. Today is May 19th. Between then and now, Hans and I have been talking a lot about respect, work ethic and appropriate behaviour on the set. There are days I feel like he is only 6 years old and this is a bit much for his age?! But then there are days I have to tell myself that if this is what Hans wants to do for a very long time, he needs to understand and follow rules.

On a lighter note, several kids have been caught on camera with their fingers up their noses; some have even picked and consumed their boogers!! Ewww, but true!! It is never too early to have the talk about being on one's best behaviour when one is in front of a camera or anywhere else for that matter!!

And so it begins...

 

Faith Renewed

2 weeks and a day after the first audition, Hans got a call back for a second audition. The email was sent on a Monday for a Tuesday call back! How does one prepare for it and what goes into this preparation?! I asked Hans to prepare a little monologue about his most favourite person.

Hans' first pick was Ironman! The first sentence of his monologue included words like kidnapped, stabbed, killed and murdered! Seriously?! Time to quickly pick another superhero who has a little less violence in his past. Next choice was Captain America. A good story about a boy overcoming physical limitations and achieving his goal of serving his country!

Hans had 15 minutes allocated for him. He was in the audition for over 15 minutes! I thought that it was a good indication. Then, almost a week goes by and NO word. I couldn't sleep at all. On the 7th day, I missed a call and when I called back, it was the Casting Director!! He had good news; they wanted Hans to be part of the TVO show. After several auditions, they selected 14 kids.

Yesterday was Hans' first day of filming with dialogue. He worked with a script and did 3 scenes for an episode. He was exhausted after a 5 hour schedule; however, he was so happy and can't wait to go back tomorrow!!

Thank you Gods and Goddesses!

 

Marketing Ploys

One fine day, a few weeks ago, Hans and I discovered that Danino has new collectible drinkable yogurt containers! There were 20 to collect in total.

Hans got all excited. He picked up one pack that has 8 drinkable yogurt containers. When we got home, he wanted to drink some yogurt. So, he had one container. Then, he wanted another. He was so proud of his collection of 2 containers. Before he went to bed, he wondered if he could have one more container?! I understood his enthusiasm for these collectible containers as well as his curiosity, so I asked him to grab one more from the fridge. A few seconds later, I heard a loud cry of outrage, "HEY! I already got this one!!"

Poor Hans thought that each pack would have 8 different collectible containers. He was shocked to find a duplicate!! I had to get him to sit down and explain that it doesn't work that way. Companies want kids to buy a lot of packs to finish off their collections. They don't make any money if a kid can finish off his or her collection by buying 3 or 4 packs of yogurt containers‎!! I let Hans know that it is a marketing ploy.

There was a pause of perhaps 5 seconds before Hans exclaimed, "I LOVE this Marketing Ploy!!" and ran off happily.

So far, he has collected 18 out of 20 collectible containers. We continue to buy the 8-packs so Hans can one day complete his collection!