A bit here and a bit there

For my most recent birthday, quite a few of my friends went all out. My friend Kay started it by driving a bit of a distance to procure a one of a kind cake! On the actual day, C dropped off 3 boxes of ice cream. Another friend had a dozen mini donuts delivered to my home.

 

Hans quietly remarked that it felt like Craigley's birthday was being celebrated a second time!

 

Craigley loves cake, ice cream and desserts. On the other hand, I like anything savoury. Give me tortilla chips with a homemade 7 layer dip, and I am in snack heaven. I will also eat French fries in my sleep and if they are accompanied by hot mustard, I would consider it a dream come true.

 

However, I digress.

 

My parents and my brother are always on track with my birthday gifts. They write the nicest words on an envelope (my parents) or find a card with the nicest words and add some more (my brother). Then, they throw in cash for good measure. My parents hope I use the cash to do some personal shopping. My brother has no such conditions!

 

More so than ever before, I feel lucky to have been born into a family that is as nice as mine.

 

The gifts continued to appear after my birthday. There are 2 notable ones. My friend C decided to buy me a digital voice recorder. She wanted to give me something that could help with my writing. She knows that I have been diagnosed with Palindromic Rheumatism. Today, ASid gave me an iPad.

 

At this point in the post, I will intentionally digress.

 

8 years ago, in May 2012, Craigley got me my first iPad. He had the words "All You Need is Love" engraved at the back of it. Since he is a big-time Beatles' fan, it would make sense to most people. Some may reflect on the irony of those words. However, those words were merely chosen as an inside joke. Craigley worked for BlackBerry at that time and that was the song the company was using to promote the Playbook which was their version of an iPad.

 

It was as if Craigley was comforting himself with the thought that he may have given into temptation, but he didn't sell his soul to the devil in the process.

 

A few hours ago, I unboxed my second iPad. ASid had the following words engraved at the back of it.

 

"If I should leave you

Try to remember the good times"

 

They are lyrics from a song titled "Little Bit of Rain".

 

Recently, ASid and I binge watched a British series that had a beautiful selection of songs play through each episode. Of all the songs we got to listen to, my most favourite was "Little Bit of Rain" and those 2 lines made me a little emotional.

 

The boy remembered.

 

I have received many gifts during my lifetime. The ones I cherish the most are the gifts of Time.

 

A little bit here and a little bit there

Lovely little treasures to revisit in my head
 

The Pot and the Kettle

Craigley has this habit of taking a nap right after dinner and waking up just before everyone else is ready to retire for the day. Craigley can take multiple naps in a day. The number of naps he takes determines the number of hours he could be awake during nighttime.

 

I am a light sleeper. I have a tendency to wake up at the slightest of sounds. That means I wake up several times on any given night based on Craigley's nocturnal activity levels. The noises that are the most disturbing originate from the kitchen and the washroom.

 

Since ASid moved back home because of Mary moving back to her home country, he seems to be functioning on a different time zone. He is up most of the night chatting with Mary who is miles away. When it is time for most of us, in this part of the world, to wake up … the boy blissfully falls asleep.

 

I have been coping well with both father and son disturbing my sleep. So, I share the following with amusement.

 

2 dawns ago, around 3 am, I was awakened by Craigley knocking on ASid's door to tell him that he is really loud and he could wake his Momley up.

 

I had the intense desire to tell the pot to leave the kettle alone! However, I decided to ignore both of them and save what was left of my sleep.

 

21 and done!

Approximately 3 decades ago, my dad bought me a biography on Lee Iacocca. Although I enjoyed fiction at that time, I read that book and liked it very much. However, recently, all I could recall from the book was that Iacocca worked for Ford and he came up with something called "31 and out". I Googled that phrase to refresh my memory and got nothing in return!

 

Maybe my memory has jumbled some details and numbers ...

 

The idea behind "31 and out", as I remember it, was to encourage employees at Ford to retire after working for 31 years! Obviously, they had incentives in terms of great retirement benefits. This also ensured employment opportunities at Ford for the next generation!

 

Obviously, I could be wrong about it all. I am working from a memory from about 30 years ago.

 

I am not entirely sure why I brought up an unreliable memory from many moons ago?! Maybe to use it as a cool segue into what I did 2 weeks ago!! On July 2nd, I resigned from my content coordinator role with the local magazine. At that point in time, I had just submitted content for the August issue which will be my 21st issue.

 

I can't believe I worked almost 2 years with the magazine. I got to learn a lot. The most valuable lesson I learnt is that I could totally use an editor for my writing. I am sure some readers of this blog would concur with me on that one.

 

Other than that, I also realized that I am not such a good writer. I am good at retelling, but I am not really creative or imaginative. The boys would love for me to be the next J.K.R; however, this is all they may end up with.

 

On a positive note, another mom, with 2 boys and who writes a blog about her life, will most likely be taking over the content coordinator role. She lives in the same neighbourhood as I do. I have read her blog posts and I think she is a superior writer than I am. So I believe the magazine will be in good hands.

 

Alright, I am no Iacocca; however, I have been inspired by him. If I hadn't called it a day, there wouldn't have been an opportunity for this other mom to try something she likes.

 

31 and out … 21 and done … whatever makes room for another.

 

Closer to 50 than ever before

With a birthday coming up, there is always an inherent need to do some life inventory. This is not really meant to be a blanket statement for all of humankind, just this one kind! 

In terms of health, I am probably doing better than what I captured in a melodramatic post from a couple of months ago. I did see a specialist twice and the official diagnosis is Palindromic Rheumatism which is not as bad as Rheumatoid Arthritis. For that, I am thankful. 

In terms of mental health, I feel like I am losing it some days. The pandemic has definitely added a bit of anxiety and paranoia to my active imagination which will take more than a few days to get back to “normal”! 

I guess that means I am alive and well and mostly in good health and good spirits. 

Before I wrap up, I just feel like sharing a moment I had with Lady A. She mentioned something about chickens that she has. She has mentioned them before; but if I don’t actually see them, it is difficult to remember something said in passing. Lady A mentioned that she gets brown eggs from her brown/red chickens and white eggs from her white chickens. We had a lengthy discussion about that by drawing parallels to race and the current conversation the world is engaged in. For some reason, I had this one question on my mind that I couldn’t wait to ask Lady A: “So you must have a rooster too?” I just assumed that a chicken needed a rooster to produce eggs! 

Lady A looked at me like I had gone mad before she calmly said, “That is such a dumbass question!” 

It was! I did feel dumb. Lady A quickly reminded me that my one dumb question is not a reflection of my overall general intelligence. I just wasn’t thinking! 

Of all my conversations with Lady A, this is the one that will stand out. The next day, Lady A sent me a text about “feeling like an idiot” when chatting with her daughter about some trendy drink. I let her know that it was OK. 

As we age, we may feel less informed than our kids. We may feel left out or left behind. We may even feel dumb at times. We just need to remind ourselves that it is OK. It is not the end of the world!

A C of despair?!

First year of middle school officially wrapped up on Friday. Hans got his report card in an email. He was very particular about viewing it first and even though I received it, I let him have the pleasure or as it turned out, the displeasure! As he gave me back my phone, he warned me that I wouldn’t be happy.

 

Hans got his first C on a report card; actually there were a bunch of Cs for French. I was expecting that result and I wasn’t unhappy. Hans’ French teacher had requested a meeting with me before March Break where he expressed a concern about Hans’ lack of interest in the language. So, I was aware that the boy was struggling a bit. Both the French teacher and I came up with a plan to help Hans do better. However the pandemic interrupted that from happening. Hans never did get that chance to work with his teacher to do better.

 

I am hoping I am able to help him over the summer holidays in some way so he is prepared sufficiently to deal with a higher level of French in Grade 7.

 

A C is not really a sea of despair that Hans seems to think he has to swim through. It is more like a wake-up call. I let him know that he only has 3 more years of French and then, he can bid au revoir to it!

 

From experience, I can confidently say that most of us do better when a subject is interesting to us. However to get to the subjects we like and can effortlessly float in, we have to wade through what sometimes seem like seas of despair!
 

The Immensely Sorrowful Pickup!

This is a sequel of sorts to The Massive Pickup! posted on March 25, 2020.

 

ASid informed me that he would need to be picked up as Mary would be leaving the country on July 1^st to spend time with her parents. Financially, it made sense for the girl to visit her home country as soon as her university made the decision to continue with online classes through the Fall term.

 

What works on a financial level does not necessarily work on an emotional level. I was devastated. In a strange way, I knew I was going to miss Mary even though I only saw her all of 3 times in the last 6 months. I couldn’t believe my reaction to the news. I was sad to see ASid leave a couple of months ago; so, shouldn’t I be happy to know he is coming home?

 

I thought I would have some time to adjust to all the mixed emotions I was feeling and then, found out that Mary would be leaving on June 12^th instead! What?! We had to go pickup ASid on June 7^th to give Mary some time to clear out her things and pack for her trip back home. I wanted to hug the child, but couldn’t because of “social distance” etiquette. I wished her a safe trip.

 

Yesterday, when Mary was at the airport, I had to send her a note before her phone number ceased to exist.

 

I sent her a message: “You may not believe this, but I am going to miss you … I hope to see you back soon …”

 

She immediately messaged back: “I will miss you too! … Thank you! I hope to see you soon as well …”

 

I hope the kids’ relationship will survive this separation. Whether it does or not, I will be grateful for the time ASid got to spend with Mary.

 

As a parent, my fondest hope is that my children will be lucky enough to find mates who will adore them and be happy to be with them. It was a dream come true to see a brief preview of my wish become a reality!
 

Black What?! Are you really listening?!

A while ago, one of my friends and I had an interesting conversation. We thought we were talking about our favourite show and then we realized that she was talking about Black-ish and I was talking about Blacklist (without “The” article). It was amazing how we were listening so intently and yet, we were listening to most likely our own excited voices!

 

And anyone who has seen both the shows will know that it is very challenging to confuse one with the other. I did end up watching a couple of episodes of Black-ish after that and I was enlightened.

 

A few days ago, it was the season finale of The Blacklist. A few minutes in and actors from the show started popping up on my TV screen in quarantine mode. I was a little disoriented and then found out that the production on the last episode was abruptly interrupted by stay-at-home orders. So, the team managed to add missing footage in graphic novel style and complete the episode. The result was quite stunning. I appreciated the fact that many brilliant minds put that episode together and that they got to wrap up the season for their audience.

 

I felt like I needed to share this with Hans. I want the boys to always think of solutions to problems without focusing too much on the obstacles in the way.

 

Hans was impressed with the smooth transitions from live action footage to graphic novel style animation and vice versa. I hope he got the message I was trying to pass onto him. We have been watching a lot of shows together. I take every opportunity to pause at times and check in with him to make sure he understands what is happening on the screen. If there are subtitles, it is a wonderful chance to quiz the boy and add to his vocabulary. I want him to be an active viewer - observe the subtleties and question the atrocities!

 

It was quite nice when Hans noticed that, in an ad, they used lesbians when they talked about flirting again! Now, he actually looks for fair representation of all cultures, races and sexual orientations in anything he watches.

 

As the boy turns 12 tomorrow, I am happy to say that he is on his way. He is not perfect. He still pees with the seat down and I find myself cautiously wiping the seat each time I plunk myself on it! He plays basketball with wads of tissue, and later, I find one or two strewn behind the garbage bin! Finally, just before he goes to bed, he talks excitedly from his room while I am brushing my teeth in the washroom and I can barely hear him! (For a good reason, I never want to confuse Black-ish with Blacklist with him!)

 

All of Hans’ imperfections seem to be connected in a strange way to the washroom! I did not realize that until I listed them above. However, they are problems with solutions!

 

I just need to pause in real life and remind him to be an active lifer!