Kinders in my home

I have been tutoring for 6 weeks now. I started with 3 kids from 3 families and now I have 5 kids from the same 3 families. The parents decided to add the younger siblings. So, for the first time, I am tutoring the JK/SK age group.

 

Initially, I flat out refused. I wasn't sure of my own abilities. Also, I wasn't sure if those kids actually needed any lessons. After 3 weeks of working with the young ones, I can honestly say that distance learning does not work with kindergartners. It will most likely work when a parent or a caregiver is involved in the process and provides adequate support to the child as necessary. Otherwise learning does not occur.

 

I can relate to certain concerns out there that this batch of JK/SK children will not have a strong basic foundation to build on - they had the last school year (which was their first school year) disrupted and they are looking at the upcoming school year wrought with fundamental disagreements and disputes between educators and politicians.

 

ASid recently remarked that he felt “under prepared” for his first year of university. It was strange hearing that phrase from a student who was in an enriched high school program. ASid actually did a few AP (Advancement Placement) exams in his last 2 years of high school and did well on them. They are supposed to be equivalent to first year university courses. However, after meeting some international students, ASid felt that their knowledge of certain subjects was superior to his own. ASid, since then, has been very vocal about wanting to see some changes in how curriculum is being taught in Canadian schools.

 

Maybe people in education should be consulting with first year college and university students across Canada to receive some constructive feedback on high school curriculum.

 

Meanwhile, as a parent who observed Hans participate in distance learning, I found out that it works to an extent with older students. They don’t need as much parental support; however, they don’t have balanced learning outcomes. Hans continued to do well in Math and never got a chance to improve in French. It was disheartening for him to see his first ever C! Now, he has doubts about his preparedness for high school! Thankfully it is 2 years away and hopefully there is time for damage control.

 

I am sure some parents are feeling that way as well - wondering if their children are adequately prepared for the next phase in their academic lives.

 

On that note, I am glad I took on the 2 little ones as my students. I feel like I am making a tiny drop of difference in the vast ocean of education.

 

Perhaps I should be writing “world of education”, but I will stick with my metaphor.

 

Recalling a few embarrassing moments

Why would I want to share embarrassing moments with my kids or anyone? I guess it is an opportunity to connect with peeps that have experienced similar moments, and allow ourselves to have a collective laugh and feel like a member of a team.

 

Today, I got on a TTC bus and my Presto card got declined. I tried a couple of times with the same result. The driver wanted to know if I could perhaps pay with cash. I usually never have cash on me. I didn't even bother to check. I immediately asked him if I could use a credit card. (What the?!) With a sigh of exasperation, the man told me that I could have a free ride and I should reload my card. Although I had a mask on and there were less than half a dozen commuters on the bus, I felt like all eyes were on me and judging me for fare evasion. The driver could have asked me to get off, but he didn't. He was kind. I must focus on that!

 

Over the weekend, I was at Costco after many moons. Being there reminded me of a super embarrassing moment I had at one of their stores. This happened 3 or more years ago. Between G and me, we didn't have a Costco card. Since our trips were usually for school events and only occurred twice a year, I decided to borrow Craigley's card. G and Craigley are from different racial and cultural backgrounds and have nothing in common except perhaps for their receding hairlines. For some reason, I was confident that that should be enough! It worked the first time and the second time, the cashier gently pointed out to me that I must not be using someone else's card. It was an excruciatingly embarrassing moment. I immediately fixed it by gifting G a Costco card. I had to atone for my sin!

 

The final one I wish to share is the very first embarrassing moment that occurred in Canada almost immediately after I landed in 1992. High school was interesting. First of all, I started in October and had a lot to catch up on with my 3 Grade 13 (OAC) courses. Writer's Craft was the most fun. The teacher scheduled 2 movie outings. For the first one, some students were taking the public transit and some were driving themselves. Don’t know how, I ended up with 3 boys in their car. I somehow got separated from the group walking to the bus stop as I wasn't aware of the dual modes of transport. The 3 boys did not know what to do and then, they kindly allowed me to accompany them. If they had asked me to leave, I would have missed the bus for sure. The movie we watched was "The Crying Game". That day, the entire class was sympathetic to me for many reasons. They felt that it was too shocking of a movie for a newcomer to Canada to watch. A few weeks later, we watched "Aladdin" and some of my classmates remarked that it was great that they got a chance to redeem themselves by taking me to a Canadian movie! Now when I look back on it all, the most embarrassing bit was about Aladdin being passed off as a Canadian movie!

 

Those are the three I chose to share here. I am sure the boys, my family, my friends and Craigley can add to the list when they get here sometime in the future. If anyone wonders why I wrote this post, it is really to draw attention to the kindness of people in each of the situations.

 

A bit here and a bit there

For my most recent birthday, quite a few of my friends went all out. My friend Kay started it by driving a bit of a distance to procure a one of a kind cake! On the actual day, C dropped off 3 boxes of ice cream. Another friend had a dozen mini donuts delivered to my home.

 

Hans quietly remarked that it felt like Craigley's birthday was being celebrated a second time!

 

Craigley loves cake, ice cream and desserts. On the other hand, I like anything savoury. Give me tortilla chips with a homemade 7 layer dip, and I am in snack heaven. I will also eat French fries in my sleep and if they are accompanied by hot mustard, I would consider it a dream come true.

 

However, I digress.

 

My parents and my brother are always on track with my birthday gifts. They write the nicest words on an envelope (my parents) or find a card with the nicest words and add some more (my brother). Then, they throw in cash for good measure. My parents hope I use the cash to do some personal shopping. My brother has no such conditions!

 

More so than ever before, I feel lucky to have been born into a family that is as nice as mine.

 

The gifts continued to appear after my birthday. There are 2 notable ones. My friend C decided to buy me a digital voice recorder. She wanted to give me something that could help with my writing. She knows that I have been diagnosed with Palindromic Rheumatism. Today, ASid gave me an iPad.

 

At this point in the post, I will intentionally digress.

 

8 years ago, in May 2012, Craigley got me my first iPad. He had the words "All You Need is Love" engraved at the back of it. Since he is a big-time Beatles' fan, it would make sense to most people. Some may reflect on the irony of those words. However, those words were merely chosen as an inside joke. Craigley worked for BlackBerry at that time and that was the song the company was using to promote the Playbook which was their version of an iPad.

 

It was as if Craigley was comforting himself with the thought that he may have given into temptation, but he didn't sell his soul to the devil in the process.

 

A few hours ago, I unboxed my second iPad. ASid had the following words engraved at the back of it.

 

"If I should leave you

Try to remember the good times"

 

They are lyrics from a song titled "Little Bit of Rain".

 

Recently, ASid and I binge watched a British series that had a beautiful selection of songs play through each episode. Of all the songs we got to listen to, my most favourite was "Little Bit of Rain" and those 2 lines made me a little emotional.

 

The boy remembered.

 

I have received many gifts during my lifetime. The ones I cherish the most are the gifts of Time.

 

A little bit here and a little bit there

Lovely little treasures to revisit in my head
 

The Pot and the Kettle

Craigley has this habit of taking a nap right after dinner and waking up just before everyone else is ready to retire for the day. Craigley can take multiple naps in a day. The number of naps he takes determines the number of hours he could be awake during nighttime.

 

I am a light sleeper. I have a tendency to wake up at the slightest of sounds. That means I wake up several times on any given night based on Craigley's nocturnal activity levels. The noises that are the most disturbing originate from the kitchen and the washroom.

 

Since ASid moved back home because of Mary moving back to her home country, he seems to be functioning on a different time zone. He is up most of the night chatting with Mary who is miles away. When it is time for most of us, in this part of the world, to wake up … the boy blissfully falls asleep.

 

I have been coping well with both father and son disturbing my sleep. So, I share the following with amusement.

 

2 dawns ago, around 3 am, I was awakened by Craigley knocking on ASid's door to tell him that he is really loud and he could wake his Momley up.

 

I had the intense desire to tell the pot to leave the kettle alone! However, I decided to ignore both of them and save what was left of my sleep.

 

21 and done!

Approximately 3 decades ago, my dad bought me a biography on Lee Iacocca. Although I enjoyed fiction at that time, I read that book and liked it very much. However, recently, all I could recall from the book was that Iacocca worked for Ford and he came up with something called "31 and out". I Googled that phrase to refresh my memory and got nothing in return!

 

Maybe my memory has jumbled some details and numbers ...

 

The idea behind "31 and out", as I remember it, was to encourage employees at Ford to retire after working for 31 years! Obviously, they had incentives in terms of great retirement benefits. This also ensured employment opportunities at Ford for the next generation!

 

Obviously, I could be wrong about it all. I am working from a memory from about 30 years ago.

 

I am not entirely sure why I brought up an unreliable memory from many moons ago?! Maybe to use it as a cool segue into what I did 2 weeks ago!! On July 2nd, I resigned from my content coordinator role with the local magazine. At that point in time, I had just submitted content for the August issue which will be my 21st issue.

 

I can't believe I worked almost 2 years with the magazine. I got to learn a lot. The most valuable lesson I learnt is that I could totally use an editor for my writing. I am sure some readers of this blog would concur with me on that one.

 

Other than that, I also realized that I am not such a good writer. I am good at retelling, but I am not really creative or imaginative. The boys would love for me to be the next J.K.R; however, this is all they may end up with.

 

On a positive note, another mom, with 2 boys and who writes a blog about her life, will most likely be taking over the content coordinator role. She lives in the same neighbourhood as I do. I have read her blog posts and I think she is a superior writer than I am. So I believe the magazine will be in good hands.

 

Alright, I am no Iacocca; however, I have been inspired by him. If I hadn't called it a day, there wouldn't have been an opportunity for this other mom to try something she likes.

 

31 and out … 21 and done … whatever makes room for another.

 

Closer to 50 than ever before

With a birthday coming up, there is always an inherent need to do some life inventory. This is not really meant to be a blanket statement for all of humankind, just this one kind! 

In terms of health, I am probably doing better than what I captured in a melodramatic post from a couple of months ago. I did see a specialist twice and the official diagnosis is Palindromic Rheumatism which is not as bad as Rheumatoid Arthritis. For that, I am thankful. 

In terms of mental health, I feel like I am losing it some days. The pandemic has definitely added a bit of anxiety and paranoia to my active imagination which will take more than a few days to get back to “normal”! 

I guess that means I am alive and well and mostly in good health and good spirits. 

Before I wrap up, I just feel like sharing a moment I had with Lady A. She mentioned something about chickens that she has. She has mentioned them before; but if I don’t actually see them, it is difficult to remember something said in passing. Lady A mentioned that she gets brown eggs from her brown/red chickens and white eggs from her white chickens. We had a lengthy discussion about that by drawing parallels to race and the current conversation the world is engaged in. For some reason, I had this one question on my mind that I couldn’t wait to ask Lady A: “So you must have a rooster too?” I just assumed that a chicken needed a rooster to produce eggs! 

Lady A looked at me like I had gone mad before she calmly said, “That is such a dumbass question!” 

It was! I did feel dumb. Lady A quickly reminded me that my one dumb question is not a reflection of my overall general intelligence. I just wasn’t thinking! 

Of all my conversations with Lady A, this is the one that will stand out. The next day, Lady A sent me a text about “feeling like an idiot” when chatting with her daughter about some trendy drink. I let her know that it was OK. 

As we age, we may feel less informed than our kids. We may feel left out or left behind. We may even feel dumb at times. We just need to remind ourselves that it is OK. It is not the end of the world!

A C of despair?!

First year of middle school officially wrapped up on Friday. Hans got his report card in an email. He was very particular about viewing it first and even though I received it, I let him have the pleasure or as it turned out, the displeasure! As he gave me back my phone, he warned me that I wouldn’t be happy.

 

Hans got his first C on a report card; actually there were a bunch of Cs for French. I was expecting that result and I wasn’t unhappy. Hans’ French teacher had requested a meeting with me before March Break where he expressed a concern about Hans’ lack of interest in the language. So, I was aware that the boy was struggling a bit. Both the French teacher and I came up with a plan to help Hans do better. However the pandemic interrupted that from happening. Hans never did get that chance to work with his teacher to do better.

 

I am hoping I am able to help him over the summer holidays in some way so he is prepared sufficiently to deal with a higher level of French in Grade 7.

 

A C is not really a sea of despair that Hans seems to think he has to swim through. It is more like a wake-up call. I let him know that he only has 3 more years of French and then, he can bid au revoir to it!

 

From experience, I can confidently say that most of us do better when a subject is interesting to us. However to get to the subjects we like and can effortlessly float in, we have to wade through what sometimes seem like seas of despair!