That First Car!

I do not drive. And I probably shared that here. It has been somewhat of a bane of my existence. And ASid seemed to have followed in my unfortunate footsteps and does not drive. We take the TTC, Uber or walk. We are alright with our choices or inabilities.

Hans, on the other hand, has always wanted to drive. And the poor kid was stuck with me. So, I registered him for Young Drivers and put all my faith in them. I must give some credit to the boy’s dad who stepped up and did some practice driving here and there.

It was a little heartbreaking when Hans failed his 1^st attempt at G2; but he gave it some time and passed on his 2^nd attempt. I felt like buying him a car and it seemed like an impulsive move as well as unnecessary for some of my near and dear ones. Some weren’t sure I could buy a car! Fair enough! But I did.

Today, Hans drove his first car all the way from the dealership to my parents’ home. My Dad was with him. The entire day, I was nervous as well as excited about that drive! When I saw Hans drive in, I was so proud and so relieved. He was happy to give me my first ride.

It was the best ride of my life.

A Hapag-Lloyd-y Retelling

Bambino and Sir B/UB/IB have an origin story about Hapag-Lloyd and how it entered their lexicon as a hyphenated word used to describe a state of mind. That’s their story to tell.

This is a post about my sightings of the actual Hapag-Lloyd trucks and consequent exchanges of conversational texting with IB.

Here are some snippets of those conversations.

Wednesday, April 15, 2026, on my way to work in an Uber

Me: “… I am behind a Hapag-Lloyd truck. So, had to let you know. :-) …”

IB: “… Lmao. I hope as it is typical for some Hapag-Lloyd-ing it, that they’re not holding up your progress into work! …”

Wednesday, April 22, 2026, on my way to work in another Uber

Me: “… One more Hapag-Lloyd sighting! …”

IB: “… lol. Don’t know if that’s auspicious or SUSpicious! …”

Me: “I hope it is auspicious! I have 2 job interviews today!!”

At the end of that day …

Me: “… I did 2 great interviews and this is the fastest job offer I have ever received. Hapag-Lloyd was auspicious …”

IB: “… Auspicious indeed! Well done and congrats! We should definitely celebrate!”

And so, we did celebrate on Friday. We had dinner at one of my favourite restaurants where I get treated like family. I believe IB enjoyed the food. When he dropped me off, he wanted me to take all the leftovers for Hans, and he also wanted me to say hi to my parents as I was visiting with them the next day.

This was something I have been struggling with … telling my parents about hanging out with IB!

Just like I was overthinking it with Neil, I was with IB too. However, this was more high stakes as IB is a family favourite! I did not want any expectations or any unnecessary pressure. (I am very capable of destroying relationships all by myself and I did not need the extra help!)

Anyways, yesterday, I realized that I just got to take it easy. And today, I am and writing about it.

A Week full of Winners

10 days ago, I wrote about my teacher-mentor-friend-therapist and me reflecting over some rocky career moments. I was annoyed with myself over botching up my job applications and she was saddened by being saddled with an annoying placement.

Today, I want to share that we have come far from that teary reflection. On the 22^nd, I received my job offer and on the 23^rd, she received some amazing news of her own.

February 2026 was the month where I was busy with IEPs and report cards, and parent-teacher interviews, and that month was also the month I decided to submit my resignation letter for my current job. There was a lot going on, and then, I received an email communication about nominating a colleague for excellence in teaching between February 2nd and 27th. It wasn’t simply about putting forth a name, it also involved writing about this individual and highlighting all they have done in 8 possible professional categories. I wasn’t sure if I had the time or energy, but I decided to nominate my teacher-mentor-friend-therapist (TMFT).

On the 23^rd, my TMFT got a call letting her know that she won the teaching excellence award! I was more overjoyed than I was the day before. I can get a job offer any day, but receiving an award like this is a once-in-a-lifetime achievement and honour. It also solidified my belief that good things can still happen to good people!

10 days ago, I also mentioned making a video with Hans. The boy got 95% on that assignment. He is still waiting to hear from a couple of universities; but he is already a winner in my mind.

Wanted

Many moons ago, Hans told me that men can fight over the nicest woman on the planet or something like that! Today, I felt like it was a possibility … I had 2 principals (not men, but strong and wonderful women) *fighting* over me.

Yesterday, I was surprised as I received an email from a principal wondering if I was available for an interview today. When I got home, I received a call from another principal wondering if I was available for an interview today. These were for Round 1 that I thought I messed up! I wasn’t sure what was happening. I couldn’t sleep very well. Today, I had my 1^st interview at 10:30 am and it was great. The 2^nd interview was at 3:30 pm and halfway through it, I saw a call coming through on my phone. When I was done and heard the voicemail, it was the principal from the earlier interview requesting me to call back so she could tell me about some good news in person. When I called her, I found out I got the job! I had to immediately let the other principal know so she could save time by not doing my reference checks. She wrote back almost immediately, and her last words were “Truly, we wish you well.”. 

Never have I felt so wanted. Never have I received a job offer so quickly. Today was a crazy good day.

I guess I could now say I landed where I was wanted. :-)

Reflecting on ‘Worth the Work’

Yesterday was the day I was supposed to hear back from the principals who received my job applications … and I heard nothing. It was crushing. I tried to think of what I did wrong, and then it hit me that there was this “highlights” section where I could have listed all the highlights from my 7 years of teaching experience and I chose to focus on my current assignment which is about a year and a half’s worth!

Last night, I couldn’t sleep. I felt like I let myself down.

This morning, I was back in my teacher-mentor-friend-therapist’s classroom. Before I walked in, I sent 3 messages about my failure to secure even a single interview to 3 people who are my personal cheerleaders - Richard, my favourite principal; Neil, my teacher-friend and another wonderful mom-teacher-friend. Neil responded promptly and wrote “better news in the headlines soon” and I texted back to him as I walked in.

This time around, I wasn’t the only one who was sad about something. My teacher-mentor-friend-therapist was a little sad too as she was going through some unexpected professional news of her own. I will not elaborate on her news, but I will share what I did to make her feel better … I showed her what I texted to Neil … the message was still visible on my phone screen.

I have always landed where I was needed.

And both of us started our day on a positive note.

The sleeplessness caught up with me as I left work, and I realized that I had to help Hans make a video for school. I got home and tried to clean up the kitchen and get things ready. The video is of Hans cooking a healthy meal. I ended up talking to him about my job applications and I apologized to him for not being there for him the last few days as I was preoccupied with my own stuff. He said he understood what I was going through as he is still waiting to hear from a few other universities. For a second time, it hit me that I am going through something that a child of mine is going through!

I am glad I shared my feelings with Hans. After acknowledging that he understood, he gave me a big hug. They say a mother’s job is never done. As I look at ASid and Hans, I feel like my job is mostly done. And that’s a good feeling. I will take that over any other job any day.

Worth the Work

Last Sunday, I applied to 5 jobs. I had just 2 criteria - the jobs are within the realm of Special Education, and their locations are within a reasonable distance from my parents’ home. I would know next week if I even qualified for an interview. It has been super stressful.

Last night, I got a call from ASid. He was at Pearson and on his way to San Francisco for a job interview. I was more than a little surprised. ASid started a new job last Monday and 4 days later, he was flying to another country to seek another opportunity.

ASid and I are going through job transitions. Following is what I shared with Smoggie a few days ago:

It is strange to be doing the same things as my kid, and it is awesome to know he is doing better than his mother. :-)

I am not sure what it was that got ASid on that plane; however, I hope it is worth his time, money and effort. Even if it is not, I am glad he took that chance.

I know what it was that got me looking for a new job - someone made it uncomfortable in my own space. I can’t help but feel like this is so unfair! So, I have been telling myself that I have done all that I could for the kids and it is time for me to go help some other kids.

I can tell myself whatever story, but I am taking a chance as well. And I hope it all works out … for *all* the kids and me!

The House that my Dad built for my Mom

In 2015, my Dad turned 65 and decided to build a house for my Mom ... from scratch! It was the most opposite thing to downsizing! It perplexed a few people, and it vexed one!

It is cool when a man expresses his adoration for a woman with simple statements. That’s when you know he means it. I remember my Dad saying that my Mom was the cutest girl on his street … that was believable! Growing up, I never questioned his love for her. He still calls her his darling. He would do anything for her.

When we moved to Toronto in 1992, we initially met a bunch of people from the Motherland. One of them was always converting Canadian currency to the Motherland’s currency and calling himself a millionaire in that country. It made absolutely no sense. Anyways, My Mom might have said in passing that it would be nice to live in a million-dollar home.

So, my Dad decided to make it a reality. He went and bought a million-dollar house and gifted it to his beloved. In Toronto, such a house is a tiny nothingness, especially in the Yonge and Sheppard neighbourhood. The lady didn’t know what to make of it. And then, she was told that it was going to be demolished and he was going to build her a home and handed her some blueprints. She thought he had gone mental!

My Mom did not want the big house. However, she ended up spending hours and hours on this thing she didn’t know that she really wanted. And she dreaded the hours and hours of labour it would require from her to maintain it once it was completed. I think she had this love-hate feelings for it. The house was ready for move-in in February 2017. My Mom did not appreciate it until March 2020 … when the whole world seemed to shut down and people were afraid to breathe, my Mom loved all the space she had to move around and breathe without fear. Finally, she appreciated her home and genuinely thanked her husband for the gift.

We all fondly call this family home 190.

Over the last few years, a beautiful walk-out basement unit has been added and rented out a few times. My Dad followed all zoning bylaws and made sure it is a safe space. In July 2026, Hans and I are moving into this lovely abode. I was there last weekend and took a few pics. I sent the pic of the kitchen to KPF as I recently cooked with him in Ottawa. The kitchen with its nine-foot ceiling also made me think of him as he is tall and he would be able to reach anything in that kitchen while I would probably be reaching out for step stools and ladders! Anyways, before I digress, KPF wanted to know if the kitchen was renovated … for me?! I could have just said “no” and kept it simple.

… But I felt like I needed to write another post about my Dad. The last one was a long time ago. I need to write more.

When Worlds Collide …

I am back from another whirlwind trip to Ottawa, but this time around I was there for about 2 days and 2 hours. That’s double the amount of my usual time, but I was visiting with double the number of friends.

This was a bit of a stressful trip as I decided to cook for my friends, KPF and Manda, in a kitchen that was new to me. I am not going to write about how good or bad my cooking was, but I had a wonderful time with my friends. Although ASid and Hans weren’t there, Manda’s 2 boys more than made up for their absence. They joined us at the dinner table and shared their vacation stories with KPF who turns out had travelled to some of the very same countries they had been to! So, there was a lot of cool conversation around some European countries. And since I haven’t been to any of those, it was a lot of learning for me.

I wasn’t too thrilled with my eggplant and salmon dishes, but I was okay with my spinach/lentil soup. KPF saved the day by bringing 2 delicious desserts from The French Baker. He also brought some chocolates for the boys. He remembered!

KPF and Manda know about this blog and read occasionally when I send them links to posts they are featured in; however, they met for the first time ever on the 19^th and they hit it off. I was relieved. I knew I was killing 2 birds with 1 stone, but I didn’t want my friends to figuratively die from being forced to share space. Fortunately, for me, we all survived. We spent 5 hours together. I found out that KPF is an excellent sous chef. He has crazy knife skills. He was also good at flipping stuff. Manda found out her boys can sit down for a meal with a stranger and have a cordial conversation. She raised them well. The boys were also polite enough to eat the eggplant and salmon dishes without protesting. (Before I left yesterday, I made them a chicken dish to make up for dinner.)

My takeaway, again, was that I have the most amazing friends who show up for me and who are amazingly accommodating. What more do I need?

A Side Story: Part3/Continuation

I hadn’t seen Neil since December. When I communicated with him about my recent resignation, he was concerned and wanted to get together and catch up. He thought I walked out on my job. I had to clarify that I have my job until the end of this school year, but I am not going back next school year. I would eventually need to find another placement, but that’s not an immediate concern!

So, we had lunch today. As we exchanged pleasantries, I asked him about his life. He shared that he is dating and he has been very upfront about it being casual and not serious. He wondered if I was doing the same. I told him that I have been hanging out with friends both male and female but not dating in a true sense. Then, we talked about our plans for March Break. Neil is off to Montreal, and I am off to Ottawa. Neil wanted to know if I was visiting KPF. I told him that this time around I am spending time with Manda who is housesitting for her sister and KPF is dropping by for dinner on one of the 2 nights I am there.

Neil wondered why KPF and I are not together. I honestly told him that if it was 1998, maybe that would have been a possibility; however, it didn’t happen then and so, I don’t see it happening now.

What I learned recently from various conversations is that I have been in love with the idea of love. And that’s tough. Everything sounds great in my head, but it is not real. And that’s scary. To truly be in love with someone, it is important to know who I am and what I want and start living outside my head. That’s going to take time. And I am happy to wait. 

I have been fortunate to be surrounded by friends who are my age and going through their own respective transitions and finding their way around relationships. It is wonderful to know that I am not alone. At the same time, it is okay to have this alone time.

My Favourite Single Mom

Alright, I still have a little rant left in me! I just had a phone conversation with my friend Manda, and I had to remind her that she is an exceptional single mom!

Manda has 2 boys like me. They are 16 and 14. The younger one is dating. Today was his 4th date with the same girl and apparently, he was told by the girl’s friends that she was expecting a kiss. When he shared that with his mother Manda, she started overthinking it. She felt that if the boys’ dad has been around, they would know how to be affectionate with a girl!

That got me sad initially and then it got me mad!

Boys don’t need their dads to be around if they are not going to be decent dads. Manda walked out of her home, with the boys, in March/April of 2020. It has been almost 6 years, and their dad hasn’t tried to see them. Yet they are in a custody battle for the boys. It makes no sense then that Manda would say something like having their dad in their lives would make them somehow “better boys”!

That’s why we have movies. Watch ‘Roman Holiday’ and see Gregory Peck be a gentleman - watch him love a woman and let her go. Loving a woman is about letting her *be*.

Alright, I am digressing a little bit. The boy is only 14, and he will kiss the girl when he is ready. The absence of his father is not the reason. I had to remind Manda that the boys have her father! Manda’s dad took care of his mother until she passed away a few years ago; he adores his wife, and he helps Manda with the boys. If the boys need a role model, their maternal grandfather is 2 doors away!

I also needed to remind Manda that she worked 3 jobs so she could give the boys wonderful summer breaks. I have often called her “the mother of all mothers”. I have never seen a mother be so involved in her children’s lives. I told her that I had to be a stay-at-home mother to give that kind of time and attention to my children. Work would have taken me away from them. I can only do one thing well at a time. But I admire the mothers who work and take care of their kids and do it all on their own. These are exceptional women. They need to know that. 

Now, I can truly spring forward.

Single Moms

I have had a rough 2 weeks, and I haven’t ranted in a while. And as we get ready to spring forward, I feel like I need to purge and start anew.

So, I handed in my resignation letter for my current job. It was that or put up with incompetence for another school year! It was hard as I do not like to leave a job unfinished. Also, it *is* hard to leave my work kids; however, one day, we have to part ways anyway!

Although that was rough, the toughest part was helping my new student transition. And to make it more challenging, it was hypothesized that this student, the child of a single mom, who is a boy, would benefit from a male role model. This got Michael all excited. This was his glorious moment to be a saviour of sorts. He decided to stick to this child like his life depended on it. I let him test the hypothesis. Then, on the 7th day, this child decided to kick and punch Michael a couple of times.

As a classroom teacher, I let Michael lead and I realized that he had no plan. He was smothering the child and getting frustrated with the child and there was no progress being made. So, I suggested that he step back a bit and give the child some space. I also decided to step in and give Michael a break. At the end of the 8th day, I also realized that Michael needed some constructive feedback.

On the 9th day morning, as I proceeded to provide Michael with some suggestions, he got defensive and then, offensive. He used a term like “microaggression”, and he declared that my words and actions gave him that feeling! What the heck?! He used the term totally inappropriately. Fortunately, our POR walked in and almost left as she could sense the tension. I drew her in and asked her for some suggestions to help our new student. While she listed some, I hope Michael realized he did none of that. He simply fulfilled the role of a bodyguard (an inept one at that as the boy ran away a few times) and nothing more!

There were no incidents on the last 2 days with the child. He did not hit or kick or punch anyone. I called his mother to let her know that her child ended the week on a wonderful note. She was relieved to hear that, and I wished her a happy weekend.

All of this got me thinking and it annoyed me that the school team thought the females in the boy’s life weren’t enough. It was a disservice to all single moms. It was disrespectful to this single mom who has 3 children and is doing her best. They kept insinuating that the boy was acting up at school because things were perhaps not so good at home. No wonder the mom wanted to pull her child out. And it annoyed me when in a meeting, the mom accepted what everyone told her … that her boy needed a man to be a better boy.

I want to say so much; however, all I will say is that some single moms have raised some beautiful boys. Please don’t take that away from them!

Kicking and Screaming

I did not hear about ‘If I Had Legs, I’d Kick You’ until Rose Byrne won a Golden Globe for her role. Since then, I had wanted to watch the movie and I finally did today. It was available for free on Prime.

The movie was so real to me. I work with children with special needs. I communicate with parents of children with special needs. Their lives are exceptionally challenging and they are incredibly inspiring. I wonder how they do it. That’s why I love my job. Each day, I realize how fortunate I am to have the life I have. And yet, at the beginning of last week, I did not feel so fortunate.

On Monday, a student was moved from his classroom, the other ISP classroom, to my classroom. Obviously, he was not quite ready to move out of a classroom that was his for 2 and a half academic years. It was an unexpected reorg, for both staff and students alike, with just a week and 4 months left in the school year. But parents are powerful and when they advocate for their children, the powers that be bend over backwards to accommodate the parents. This parent that I mentioned a couple of posts ago is beyond upset.

Friday, I received a response to my daily email from this “new” parent. She said thanks and shared that she had felt like she was doing something wrong at home for her child to be behaving badly at school. As things escalated, she felt the need to pull her child out of school. She felt helpless.

After I watched the movie, I had a better sense of this parent’s life. The movie entirely focussed on the daily life of a mother with a child with special needs. Prior to watching the movie, I could only imagine and sympathize. Now, I got to *see* it. And in the movie, the mother is quite privileged, and yet she is drowning. In real life, some parents are underprivileged and labour with no proper supports in place.

The teacher in the other ISP classroom has a child with special needs. So, 24/7, she is surrounded by children with special needs. In some ways, it makes her empathetic to the parents’ plight. In other ways, it also makes her less sympathetic. And this is just my opinion. I feel like there is this feeling that if I can, why can’t you? However, privilege plays a pivotal role. If parents are informed and have access to services and supports, their children tend to do better in the system. When parents are overwhelmed with their personal situations, and are unaware of options, their children struggle, and in turn, they struggle.

Tomorrow, I am in a meeting with this parent, the former teacher, admin and other personnel. The teacher feels like I will be perceived as the good teacher. Although I have already confessed to my hubris, I don’t believe that. I am just an option. And if I don’t make any difference whatsoever, the parent will seek out other options. 

Meanwhile, I am happy that she is kicking and screaming to have doors open for her child and have her voice heard. I want a win for this mother.

Charitable Deeds

My brother calls me "big sis Momley" and the way he says that in the language we share/speak sounds like the word "charity" in another language. It was cool when one of his friends pointed that out many moons ago.

Yesterday, I remembered that and shared it with my friend Manda.

Manda has been going through a terrible time in her life. I saw a missed call from her and a note that asked if I wanted coffee. Before I could respond, she called a second time and when I answered, she asked me the same question. I was like I am not sure. Then, she said that she was on her way and we were going out for coffee and fries, my favourite combo! I put the phone down and got ready for pick-up right away.

Manda was already in the driveway and waiting when I got out of my building. She said that for all the times I had been a good friend, she wanted to do something charitable for me, so she can have something good happen to her the next day. Manda was going to find out if it was the end of her terrible time the next day. To seal the deal, she remembered something from a holy book. And that was her plan!

As my handful of on-and-off readers know, I do not reveal any cultural, ethnic, racial or religious backgrounds of anyone I write about here. So, I am not going to do it now. All I will disclose is that Manda and I are alike as in we are born into our parents' respective religions, but we are not bound by them. However, both of us believe in the power of good deeds and prayers of our elders.

So, it was not entirely a surprise to me that she decided to treat me, whether I wanted it or not, and I was happy to indulge her. I chose to have a hot fudge sundae at MC D's and was shocked that Manda had never had one! So, we got 2 spoons and it was like we were in the movies - 2 girlfriends and a container of ice cream - a trope for eating woes away!

Anyways, Manda felt like that was too little charity and needed to do more. I let her buy a small burrito at Fat B for Hans as they sell them for $6.99 on Wednesdays. The boy already ate his dinner and that was his lunch for the next day. Manda wasn't convinced she did enough, and so we went to Longo's to buy more stuff.

When Manda came to pick me up, she looked tired and I could sense the stress she was feeling. When she dropped me off, she was smiling. Recently, I have gotten into the habit of letting my friends know that I love them. So, that’s what I told Manda and wished her all the best.

I am not sure how today was for Manda. Even if the outcome was an unhappy one, I know she will be okay.

Some other kid’s Mother

Last Friday, I wrote these famous last words, in a text message, to IB: “I guess I have the rare 100% approval rating … for now.”

I am glad I was realistic and humble even when I was floating on a cloud. I know I only have 5 students, but I also have parents who are very particular and who expect the best for their children. So, it felt good when all 5 of the parent-teacher meetings were positive, especially MyLO’s!

Yesterday, I was informed that a student is being moved from the other ISP classroom to mine! The other teacher took it personally for a couple of hours. The single mother of this child is very unhappy and wished for another placement. After much discussion and consideration, the powers that be decided to move this child to my classroom. Why me? That’s the 1^st question that always pops up in my head in challenging situations like these. Then, I come up with all the reasons why it is me and I convince myself that perhaps I am meant to help whoever it is that needs my help at that point in time. Sometimes the hubris is such that I believe I am the only one who can help!

Last night, I didn’t sleep so well. This morning, I was at work and moved around stuff in my classroom to make room for this child. My biggest concern is obviously MyLO - she is weary of the students from the other classroom. However, this move may not sit well with the other student as well. And I have a meeting with the mother tomorrow!

My life is like a suspense thriller, and this is just my professional life I am talking about!

MyLO's Mother

I have written so much about my littlest one that I am giving her a name. She will now be known as MyLO.

Friday, when I went back to work and shared that I was there late the night before and that I got a ride home from MyLO’s mother, I had different reactions. I will share 3 of them here:

My POR: “Why would you spend over an hour with this parent? What were you thinking?”

My teacher-therapist friend: “So now she knows where you live?”

My principal: “I checked before I left. I saw you talking with her and I was like ‘she got this’, and I went home.”

As already mentioned, I was okay with how it all worked out. So, I was glad to hear that my principal had that kind of confidence in me. And I don’t believe I am in any danger just because a parent knows where I live. In fact, when MyLO found out I live in an apartment building, she felt bad for me and declared that she would buy me the biggest house one day.

I shared with MyLO’s mother that her daughter frequently says “I hate you” to me. (I did not share that my own children have never said that to me!) The mother confided that she is also at the receiving end of “I hate you”, and she made it sound like we are in an exclusive club for 2. I bought that!

Some parents of children with special needs can come across as annoying sometimes because they are so demanding. However, they are simply advocating for their children and if you genuinely care for their children, and work with them as partners in their children’s learning, they are willing to give you, their time. It was just not me that stayed late that night, MyLO’s mother did too!

In a wonderful coincidence, I just watched a 41-year-old mother of 2 kids with special needs, Elana Meyers Taylor, win Women’s Monobob gold. This is her 5^th Olympics and 1^st GOLD. This woman is an inspiration. I feel like I can never ever complain about my life!

The things I remember on some days!

The actor who played the titular character on Dawson’s Creek passed away recently. It made me very sad as I remembered how Smoggie and I loved that show. The show started airing in 1998 and that was the same year, Smoggie and I met and became friends. It was cool when we found out that we both watched and loved Dawson’s Creek. This recent news made me go back in time and revisit some of my moments with Smoggie.

From all the moments I remember, I am choosing to write about one of the two fights Smoggie and I ever had. Sometimes, such moments define or destroy relationships.

Smoggie is cordial with most people and cares about very few people. He is very particular. However, I have rarely seen him not like people, but there was one such person whom he didn’t give a fig about! Unfortunately, we all worked together, and we had to share a room. Since we were all technical trainers/facilitators at an IT school, we had devices on our desks and that meant we could discreetly communicate through network messages. One fine day in 1999, Smoggie sent a message stating that he was planning for us to go watch A Midsummer Night's Dream starring Calista Flockhart on a Friday. That was a perfect plan as Smoggie knew how much I enjoyed Shakespeare and how much I adored Ally McBeal - it was 2 of my favourite things coming together! I couldn’t contain my delight and turned from the computer screen to look in Smoggie’s direction and declare that I was happy to watch the movie that Friday and that I was very excited about it. As soon as those words escaped my lips, this other guy turned around in his chair and asked if he could join us?!

My eyes darted from Smoggie’s face to this guy’s face not knowing what to say! Smoggie’s face was sternly requesting me to say NO and this guy’s was begging me to say YES. Since I have always struggled to say no, I ended up asking the guy to join us. That was it. I immediately received a message from my friend telling me to forget about him if this guy comes along. I was like “come on!”. I couldn’t possibly uninvite the guy. Long story short, I ended up going to the movie with this guy, and Smoggie decided to take a break from me!

We didn’t speak to each other for a couple of days. It was the worst time. (We were both 24-25 at that time, but we could have been 4 or 5!) Then, one fine day, I found my desk converted into a shrine for Ricky Martin. That was it. I walked over to Smoggie’s desk and let him know how sorry I was and how miserable I was. And all was forgiven. We never wanted to go through such hellish time again.

Why would I write about a fight on Valentine’s Day? Because it doesn’t feel that bad anymore. It was a tiny moment in time that Smoggie and I were able to put behind us as our friendship meant more than the feelings of betrayal and disappointment we experienced for a bit. I am glad we saved *us*.

James Van Der Beek’s death reminded me, once again, that life is short. I must take the time to appreciate the people in my life. Smoggie is quintessential to my existence. He has been at the receiving end of all my dramatic outbursts. Smoggie has a landline and I’d like to believe it is there for me and me alone. I can call it anytime. It has been there even when Smoggie wasn’t in the country. I have left many messages on it. Wherever Smoggie is, he retrieves those messages and responds. Now, why would I not have his mobile number and WhatsApp him or whatever him?! I don’t know. This “snail mail” sort of system seems to work nicely for us.

There are days I need to remember how loved I am and how fortunate I am. Today is one of those days.

I just got back from a 13^th birthday party of my favourite twins born on Valentine’s Day. I was the only adult invited. I am their beloved aunty. I spent almost 3 hours with a bunch of preteens and newly minted teens. I am glad I attended the event. Kids need to know they are loved. The twins have my number, and they know they can call me anytime and I will get back to them.

I have always believed that the greatest joy is in being needed. I hope Smoggie feels that way when he receives my messages!

I hope everyone has had a LOVE-ly day. Take care.

I am okay!

This morning, my Uber driver suddenly braked and almost all the chocolate boxes I had in my bag fell unto the car floor.

The first words that came out of my mouth were "it's okay" and I kept repeating them as the driver, a young woman, kept apologizing.

As long as everyone is safe and no one is in imminent danger, it is okay! I guess part of that comes from being a Spec Ed teacher.

I was almost tempted to give one of the chocolate boxes to the Uber driver; however, I had a precise purpose for each of them. I had Parent-Teacher conferences today, and I was going to give the chocolate boxes to my work kids’ parents.

I was in a mostly good mood today. I was finally okay with Michael too. My only concern was the one disgruntled parent I spoke about in a recent post. I wasn’t sure how it was going to go with her. This parent had the 6:15-6:45 timeslot. She was my last conference. Michael had to leave at 6:30 pm. It was time for him to go, and the parent hadn’t shown up yet. He had tickets to a concert. Right after he left, I went to inform my principal that the parent maybe a no-show.

I had that feeling as the report card and IEP I sent home yesterday, in an envelope, came back this morning unopened. I immediately felt the need to reach out to this parent wondering if all was well. To be fair, she responded immediately saying that she would go through the paperwork when her child got home and she would be ready for the conference. So, the feeling of unease returned when she was 15 minutes late to a scheduled half-hour meeting. As I spoke with my principal, we saw this parent on the security cam in the office. We both welcomed her. I was relieved to see her!

When we got to the classroom, it was 6:45 pm. When the meeting ended, it was almost 8 pm. Everyone had left the school building except for the evening caretaker. This parent wondered how I was going to get home as I walked her to the entrance door. I told her that I would take an Uber home. She wondered where I lived and she offered a ride. Initially, I was hesitant and declined politely. She insisted it wasn’t a big deal and then, I said okay. We walked back to the classroom to grab my stuff. That was when I realized I hadn’t given her a box of chocolates. She was pleasantly surprised as I wished her a happy Family Day long weekend. After that, this parent went out of her way to drop me home.

The last time we “met” was in an online meeting with a bunch of people. Today, it was just the 2 of us, and in person. We were able to communicate without interference. I was able to show what I was doing for her child. She acknowledged that I was the person her child spends the most time with outside of their family. She appreciated all that I was doing for her child. 

At the end of the day, it was good to know that all my kids and their parents were okay! That means, I am okay!

My (Last) BlackBerry

I have had my current BlackBerry since 2018. It was the last model to be released, and I guess it was truly meant for me as it was released on July 13^th of that year. (Alright alright alright, it was a happy coincidence; and I am forever grateful.)

Over the last couple of years, several apps quit my device. I was sad at the departure of CIBC (my bank) and Capital One (my credit card). I was okay with McD leaving although I missed the points. Yesterday, at the end of the day, I realized that Uber Eats needed an update and I couldn’t do it as the app isn’t compatible with my device anymore. I am willing to live with this loss as well. However, fear set in when I realized the Uber app would be the next to go. If that happens, I would be forced to switch to a new phone out of sheer necessity.

I take an Uber to work each morning. I can’t really afford to do it, but I do it for good reasons and I don’t particularly care about the cost. So, I can’t afford to not have the Uber app on my phone. However, this is a likely possibility, and it has made me so very sad today.

I am not sure when this terrifying moment will occur, but I can’t just sit and wait for it to happen. So, I need a backup plan. Lucky for me that I am watching the Winter Olympics right now. It is like a sign … the phone that keeps popping up is Google Pixel 10.

2026 is a year of many transitions. Hans will be 18 in May and will be off to university in September. We are moving in July. I am also hoping to transfer from my current job/location to another, so I do not spend so much money on Uber! 

Lots of changes coming up. I guess one more should not be such a big deal.

Hanging out with my son’s girlfriend!

Almost 9 years ago, I wrote a post about love. Today feels like the perfect day to revisit it.

It is Winterlicious and it was a wonderful opportunity to try a *new* restaurant as well as hang out with Amie, ASid’s girlfriend. We had delicious food and insightful conversations. Amie remarked how a friend was surprised that she was having dinner with her boyfriend’s mom. I told her that my colleagues had similar reactions. I guess there is still that stereotypical view on the relationship between the 2 most important women in a man’s life. Amie is not officially my daughter-in-law, but the kids moved in together over the Thanksgiving weekend. At that time, Hans wondered if that was as good as a marriage and I told him that it was! Why not?!

Amie called me a ‘chill’ person. She shared that she likes how close ASid and I are, and how we can talk about anything. I told her that she is also a ‘chill’ person. I told her that any mother would love a girl who makes her son happy. The only obstacle to that is if the mother’s love for her son is possessive which then leads to feelings of jealousy and resentment for any other person her son ends up loving! Obviously, this applies to any relationship between two people. On that note, Amie could totally resent me; but she does not. That speaks volumes about the person she is.

15-year-old ASid did not know then that he had already met the special girl who will make him a happy man in the future. He did not like Valentine’s Day then. Now, he has plans with Amie. I am so happy for the two of them.

Mental Conditions

Yesterday, Friday, I spent some time with ASid and Amie (yes, I am calling his girlfriend that!). While chatting with them, I casually shared a proverb I learnt from my Mother. It roughly translates to “each of us has a mental condition that makes us happy”.

The proverb came up when I asked Amie about her parents and how they feel about ASid and her moving into a place of their own. She said that she has invited them over several times since October and they haven’t dropped by yet. She also said that her parents don’t want to intrude on her “roommate”! So, I told her that that is the “mental condition” that keeps them happy … not acknowledging the reality of their daughter’s live-in situation.

I guess we can call it a coping mechanism. Some could use some “-ist” words. ASid is biracial and Amie is close to one of the races he represents, but not exactly. Some parents still want their children to be with people who share their own cultural, racial and/or religious backgrounds. There is nothing wrong with that if they support their children’s choices.

Yesterday, I also had an intense phone call with a parent. Michael was on that call with me. For the first time ever, the two of us were in consensus about something … that this parent is completely unreasonable. She continues to be upset about my refusal for the extra CYW from October. Initially, she suggested that her child needed one-on-one support to manage her behaviour. Now, she believes that her child needs academic support as she has fallen behind. Her child was placed with me last school year as she wreaked havoc in her “regular” classroom, and it was suggested that she would thrive in an Intensive Support Program (ISP). This child, whom I call my littlest one, was a force to reckon with. Almost all our efforts went into managing behaviour. She has come a long way since then.

What the parent didn’t seem to understand was that her child came to us with huge deficits in her learning, and that can’t be fixed with extra support for just 6-8 weeks. If it is up to the parent, she would have her child on one-on-one support for the rest of her life!

As a parent myself, I understand some of these mental conditions. Most parents are the best advocates for their children. They also want to protect their children from all the evil in the world. But it helps to see the progress that is being made and acknowledge the efforts of others that make a difference in their children’s lives.