#UberFirstWorldProblem

I always believed that I am an uber walker. Since I don't drive, I rely mostly on my walking abilities and the Toronto Transit Commission (TTC)!

However, when I started supply teaching last year, I quickly became accustomed to calling a taxi or an Uber to get me to work on time in the morning. I also got a little addicted to Uber Eats to feed my family in the evening.

Last night, I experienced what ASid would call a "First World Problem"!

The day before last night, I got some gum grafting surgery done. Once again, it put me out of commission on one side of my mouth. I got tired of eating the rice I cooked for myself and felt like something different. After extensively looking through the menus of all the restaurants listed in the Uber Eats app on my phone and after consulting with Hans, I placed an order at around 6 pm. The order would be delivered by 6:50 pm was what was communicated to me. The restaurant was a little less than 7 km away and should take about 10-12 minutes to deliver the food once it has been picked up!

When I checked my phone a few minutes later to track the delivery, the estimated time of delivery had been updated to 7:50 pm. First, I thought it was a mistake like Craigley refusing to "Fall Back" for daylight saving time with his car clock and confusing me each time I am in the car with him!

Then, I decided to investigate. At around the same time, the delivery time moved up past 8 pm. What?! Apparently, the delivery person was walking. There is an actual job description called "Uber Walker". On a night, when the city of Toronto had issued a Snow Fall warning, a dude is walking about 7 km to deliver my food.

Why do I get pulled into situations such as these?!

I sent a message to my friend C to share this bizarre revelation with her. She and her 2 boys have been sick and cooped up at home for a few days now, and I thought she might find this amusing and smile a little. She immediately texted me back and wondered if the dude would get hungry half way and eat the food I ordered?!

I decided to check in on the only Uber Walker I have ever been connected with. My first question was to confirm that he was indeed walking in the insane weather. He was! My next question was to let him know that I would have canceled the order if I had known; but since he is on his way, I will wait patiently for his arrival. He didn't respond to that note! So, I decided to offer him some coffee when he got to my home. He responded with something like “that’s very nice of you, but I am OK!"

Eventually, the food was delivered at around 8:20 pm. The Uber Walker sheepishly admitted that perhaps he should have taken the TTC. After he left, I adjusted the tip to a couple of dollars more.

It is not like I have a lot of money. I am pulling out money that I don't have to fix my teeth and gum problems that are out of control since I have been negligent the last few years. And then, instead of finishing the rice I cooked, I ordered food. I have no sympathy for me and I don't expect anyone to sympathize with my situation; however, I totally sympathized with the Uber Walker. What must be his situation to venture out in that kind of weather and walk for over an hour and a bit?!

I could look at myself as a "First World Spoilt Brat", but then I told myself on the 2nd day of 2020 that I would look at everything that happens to me positively this year! So, this was my misguided way of providing a soul with an opportunity to make some cash or to live a misguided sense of adventure. Fortunately or unfortunately, I don’t know the Uber Walker’s reasons.

Does it matter that the food arrived cold? Does it matter that my stomach filled with painkillers and antibiotics was a little upset? Does it matter my child was hungry?

None of it does! No one died! We all lived to tell a tale of an uber problem that convenience can sometimes create! Does that make me smarter in the future? Only time will tell.
 

A Reflective Recap

Yesterday, Hans, Craigley and I dropped off ASid for a second time at his residence. This time wasn’t as emotional as the last time. I guess it gets a little less painful with subsequent drop-offs!

It was wonderful to have ASid with us for 2 weeks. Technically, he was not with us the entire time; he was out connecting with what seemed like 2.2 million friends he hadn’t seen in ages. I was glad to have him physically present at home for whatever few minutes he could spare for us. So, it was pleasant to have the boy announce yesterday that he felt pampered for the last 2 weeks and that he was well rested to tackle the next semester!

We also met ASid’s girlfriend twice over the break. The first time was on Christmas Day and the second time was on New Year’s Eve. Both the kids initially connected through their mutual love for Mathematics and seem to influence each other in a positive way. The girl is 20 months older than ASid and is an International student who has been in Canada for less than 4 months. She is from a completely different ethnic and religious background than that of Craigley’s or mine. However, none of that matters. I am simply glad that ASid met someone who makes him happy.

On a side note, I did feel really old over the holidays. There were visitors galore at all times of the day and people were up at all times of the night. There were unending dirty dishes and more garbage than ever before. Laundry seemed to pile up mysteriously. Everything was everywhere. I have more salt than pepper on my head after 2 weeks of keeping up with everyone and everything!

I must have aged. On Thursday, January 2^nd, I was at Shopper's Drugmart with Hans buying some batteries for a Nerf monstrosity he bought with his Christmas money. When we got to the counter to pay, the cashier gave us a seniors’ discount. I wondered out loud if they were giving the discount to everyone. The cashier responded with something like “aren’t you part of our 55+ club?” Then she realized that I was not and covered it up quickly with “it is all that grey!”

As we walked out, I remarked to Hans that she made me 10 years older than my age. Hans quietly responded that we must enjoy the seniors’ discount we got on the overpriced batteries!

I guess that’s the lead I need to follow this year. Look at the positive in all situations as much as possible!
 

Unwanted Views

As of today, January 1, 2020, this blog has exactly 10, 000 views. I was waiting to see when this milestone would be reached. It has nothing to do with a sense of accomplishment; it had everything to do with curiosity. Realistically, maybe only 10% of those views are related to the handful of peeps I actually invited to read the posts. The astounding 90% or so views are annoying traffic that comes from questionable sites hawking unsavoury content. This has perhaps been my only source of grief related to this blog. Other than that, I have no regrets.

Looking forward to a new year and a new decade … wishing everyone the best year yet! Take care of yourselves!

 

Airing my fresh laundry!

One of the oft repeated remarks from other parents is about ASid visiting us only because he has some dirty laundry to do! This may be true in most cases or maybe it is just an urban myth! In ASid's case, it is the latter.

ASid is home for the holidays and he got all his laundry done before he got home!

The reason I am bringing this up is because Hans was sick for over a week before the holidays and missed the last 5 days of school. I already had 2-3 loads of laundry to deal with! I was dreading adding 2-3 more loads to that! However, ASid's laundry was done and neatly folded ... just the way Momley would do it!

I am so very proud of the boy. In the 18 years that he was home, I never made him do laundry; however, we had several conversations in laundry rooms over the last 18 years! Just before he moved into residence, I did a laundry demo and got him to take some mental notes. That was enough!

Now that ASid's first semester of university is wrapped up and 2019 is almost done, I realized that I have fewer posts this year than the last 2 years. It was probably because I was busy and the boys were busy.

The boys provide the content and motivate me to write. The continued existence of this blog depends on them.

So, here is an extract from a recent conversation:

Momley: If you are on the computer and not doing your work, you are not fooling me; you are fooling yourself!

Hans: Don't worry mom! I am doing my work.

Momley: OK then! Just make sure you don't end up with a minimum wage job.

(Since ASid started university, employability has become a topic of interest. Hans has a few years, but first year of middle school has been eye opening for him. There is more homework and more teachers and more expectations. It has been a tough transition for the boy. Since it will only get tougher with high school and university, ASid and I keep giving Hans a reality check whenever it is warranted. A minimum wage job is fine if Hans is able to live with it. There is no shame if one is able to pay one's bills and live respectfully within one's means. Somehow, it may be challenging for Hans … or maybe not! Doesn't matter. Reality checks are good.)

Hans: Don't worry. I will live in ASid's basement.

(It is not like the boy takes any of the reality checks seriously!)

ASid: I will not have a basement. I will be living in a penthouse!

(That didn't sound like an invitation for Hans to live in ASid's penthouse!)

These are the kinds of exchanges I miss the most with the boys currently living under 2 roofs. Their lives are changing rapidly. ASid has a new girlfriend now. He brought her home on Christmas Day. This was the first time ever he brought a girl home.

Hans had this to say about that: Mom, this may sound a little cringe-y; but this is a Christmas miracle!

I am not sure if ASid's new girlfriend is indeed a "miracle"; however, the boys are my miracles each and every single day I live and breathe. When I write about them, it is like airing my fresh laundry!

 

On occasion, sharing information = chopping my nose

Both ASid and Hans believe that I freely share information with anyone and everyone. I believe I even mentioned it here once.

According to the boys, it hurts them more than it helps others. They haven't complained recently though; maybe they have become immune to the consequences?!

Most recently, this parent registered his son in the same hockey league as Hans'. I had provided all the details to this man. On the first day, his boy was apparently quite nervous. However, his team won over Hans' team with a 7-6 score. Hans was very kind to go to his former classmate and let him know that he played well for his first game. Last Saturday, the 2 teams met again and it was a similar result. On Monday, the other boy was apparently gloating over the win!

At the risk of coming across as petty, I felt for the first time that I shouldn't have been kind enough to share Hans' hockey league's info with that parent! The parent is great, but the child has a reputation for having a mean streak! What was I thinking?!

I do believe that my sharing information has sometimes put the boys in awkward or undesirable situations. Hans has actually endured more of it than ASid - mostly inclusive play dates that he had to host because his mom said so! I could have lied about plans but I chose to disclose information and then, ended up inviting other parents and their children.

My choices haven't been the kindest to my own children. Yet, they haven't turned out to be bitter beings. In a recent conversation with ASid, I found out that he decided to be friends with the girl who unceremoniously broke off their relationship in a text message! As a mother, I was concerned; however, I really liked the fact that ASid was able to forgive this girl and move forward positively without any animosity.

I haven't been the best parent, but the boys have turned out alright … more than alright!
 

The Dump Situation

Yesterday, my mom called me because she had a bad feeling that something was not quite right with her first grandchild. I had the same feeling as well because I had actually communicated with my firstborn and he let me know he wasn’t exactly feeling good without really divulging anything!

When too many feelings get in the way and things don’t make much sense, it is time to get to the crux of the matter.

Today, I set off on a mission of sorts with Bambino. We went to see ASid so we could be enlightened. To be honest, the boy wanted to see some family and if I could only recruit one member of the family, that would be my brother and I did.

On the way there, we speculated on a couple of reasons as to why ASid was down in the dumps. Obviously, as his mother, I had some additional info and I was right. It was a matter of the heart! I was sad and relieved at once. I felt for my boy. Then I also felt that it was a good thing as he has a lot on his plate with first year of university and he is too young to get involved with someone!

ASid’s pain was real though. Apparently, he was depressed for 3 days. Today, he was much better. It was great that he could talk about his feelings with his mother and his uncle. Bambino made him some comfort food and also, went above and beyond to unclog the one and only toilet in the boy’s residence! It turned out that all the friends that dropped in to comfort a dumped ASid decided to also take a dump in his toilet.

I guess such a tremendous show of support is worth a clogged toilet for a couple of days!

The real moral of the story is for ASid to realize that there will be heartaches galore and many opportunities to bring out the plunger; however, those are simply hurdles in life he needs to get over! While he is picking up the pieces and cleaning up the messes, hopefully he also takes the time to appreciate the people who help him get over those hurdles.

 

Collaborations and Goals

Today, I watched the first episode of Nancy Drew. At one point in my life, I had read all the Nancy Drew books published up to that point in my life! Then, I moved on to some other series. When I saw the commercials for the latest adaptation, I got all nostalgic and had to watch at least one episode!

My takeaway was unexpected. I zeroed in on the music composer for the show - Siddhartha Khosla! I have seen his name in the credits of one of my favourite shows, This is us. I already enjoy the writing for that show and lately, I started paying attention to the music as well. I realized that the music for that show adds another poignant layer to my experience as a viewer. Now, I blame both the writing and the music for the tears I shed during every single episode.

Today, I Googled Siddhartha Khosla and found out that he was roommates with Dan Fogelman during their college years. It is wonderful that they met when they did and got to collaborate later on and make magic for one viewer named Momley.

I have collaborated with a few people in my own lifetime, but the one collaboration I look forward to may never materialize. I believe it would be delightful if I ever got to work with one or both of the boys.  Hans did express a desire to collaborate a couple of years ago. I guess it could happen.

Today as well as for the last two days, I have been reflecting on my life. The recent passing away of a young mom has deeply affected me. While I am trying to find meaning in my life, I am so glad I am still able to find wonder in the world that I exist in.

On that note, I am so grateful to Phoebe Waller-Bridge for having created, written and starred in one of the best television shows I had the pleasure of watching. Even at 45, I am glad I am able to find people who inspire me. Some of them are younger than me and the one I’d like to close with is my dad - he will be 70 in 2020 and he recently received an award for the 9^th record time. Apparently, that was one of his goals before his eventual retirement!